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Friday, September 10, 2010

RARE HARRISON FORD INTERVIEW From 1977: His Shirt Collar Alone Is Worth The Look



The following interview is by DFW reporter Bobby Wygant and recently emerged into our galaxy for your viewing pleasure.

If you are a Star Wars junkie it will titillate your Naboo, and, if you like the soft leisure suit stylings of the swinging seventies, well, you're in for a treat.

Video after the break

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The Art of Drew Struzan (review)

I've mentioned before my love of the work of Drew Struzan, so I was thrilled to take an early look at Titan Books' upcoming book, The Art of Drew Struzan.

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WHO'S UP FOR SOME DELICIOUS PISS? Why Not Try a New Whiskey Made From the Urine of Type 2 Diabetics.


Look, I'm all for trying new things and living life to the fullest, but the closest I've ever come to drinking bodily fluids from a bottle is the time I mistakenly tipped back a can filled with my brothers regurgitated chewing tobacco that he accidentally put in front of me.

Needless to say, I projectile vomited all of the living room and my brother laughed hysterically.

So let's just say I'm not in the mood to drink Grandpa's pee anytime soon.

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The Pervy World of VC Andrews, or, Hey, I Sort Of Find My Brother Attractive

My introduction to the works of VC Andrews came in the form of my babysitter Carrie Martin, a mysterious young woman who seemed to be both angelically good and slightly evil all at the same time.

This seemingly contradictory concoction made for an epic girl crush to say the least. In fact, in a true Single White Female way, I began to tailor myself to be a mini-Carrie out of a desperate need to emulate this goddess of cool, the kind of cool that could manipulate grown-ups with her sweet and innocent face while secretly planning to lock away her charges so that she could watch soft-core porn on basic cable at an ungodly early hour.

Of course, it was out of this platonic love fest that led me straight into the literary arms of VC Andrews and her incredibly fucked up mind, which, to this day, I believe screwed up all my romantic entanglements.

You see, Ms. Andrews wrote books about family love and not in a good wholesome way. What we’re talking about is when a brother and a sister (or, in some cases, an uncle and a niece) look at each other and think, “You know, I’m gonna bang the hell out of you” without any sort of revulsion at all.

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Thursday, September 9, 2010

JUST TOSHING YOU


“Tosh.O” – A Love Story

When people ask how Daniel Tosh of "Tosh.O" and I first got together, if I’m being honest, I’ll be forced to admit the details remain foggy. What I remember for sure is the introduction came through one of my friends, who insisted on the subsequent set-up after discovering here we were, well into the Summer of 2010, yet I’d never laid eyes on the show.

After viewing just one episode, it was love at first sight, which is a rare occurrence for me, usually reserved for the Tina Feys and Joel McHales of the world (and settle down, you two: there’s room in my heart for everyone). But damn if Tosh didn’t immediately steal my heart. Was it his perma-smirk? The way he lets his viewers choose what hipster cardigan or jacket he’s going to wear and eventually retire? The fact that he refers to his home state of Florida as “Flat, hot, and dumb”? The way he ever-so-delicately dances right up to and slightly over the line of what’s politically correct?





Check the box marked “All of the above.”

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NINTENDO-BASED AUTOEROTIC ASPHYXIATION: Didn't Know it Existed? Neither Did I...Thank You Japan.


Weirdness abounds in this freaky little niche and I am a bit worried that, if this practice takes off, the bodies of gamers will begin piling up and then suddenly Rayman Raving Rabbids 2 will be slapped with an MA rating and filed in the porn section.

Call me crazy, but after watching the video of random people laying around in vacuum bags as the air is sucked out of it while they play various Nintendo games, is right up there with the clown fetish and people who can't have sex without a can of baked beans present.

Maybe I'm just an old-fashioned prude, but whatever happened to the days of getting Donkey Punched or spanked by Raggedy Ann dolls?

I guess I just dream of simpler times.

Video after the break (Possibly NSFW).

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HOW TO TURN A SUPERMAN BODY PILLOW Into A Felony Conviction

Sir, you're going to need to come with me


Look, sometimes toys for kids are occasionally created that have a somewhat sexual nature to them even if that was never the intention...I mean, who could ever forget the Oozinator or the Wolverine Bop Hammer that you blow up by placing your mouth on the Clawed One's protruding member?



I don't always blame the toy manufacturer for these slip ups, and, when they learn that they accidentally created a vibrator for young children (the Harry Potter Nimbus 2000 Broomstick) for example, they pull the offending toy off the market quickly.

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APPLE FANATICS NOW HAVE A PLACE To Finally Cut the Cheese



If you are or know someone who loves Apple in a completely inappropriate way, than perhaps you could extend that obsession to the kitchen with a cutting board shaped like a Mac Book.

I know, I know, it's a little weird but so are Apple fans, so trust me when I say that they would really appreciate the opportunity to slice vegetables on top of a product that reminds them of their favorite toy.

Hell, it even comes with a cute little Apple logo on it (intentionally etched in a way that the Sith Lord Steve Jobs will not send a cease and desist letter to the company over) and it's even made with little slits around the sides so it appears that it opens up (it doesn't but it will be funny watching someone try).

And, I believe it's made from Apple Tree wood as well, which is really kinda pithy if you think about it.

After the break are some additional pics and the links to the cutting board.

Happy dicing!

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GIVING YOU SOME DRAGON CON LOVE...In a Sometimes Creepy Way



Those people who have never attended a con tend to have preconceived notions that all the attendees are overweight basement dwellers who smell like ripe cheese.

In reality, cons are actually filled with passable (and sometimes hot) human beings who are looking to hook up with random strangers for an evening of body fluid swapping.

It's like a geek lovefest all wrapped up in a giant condom comic book...(not that I have any first hand knowledge of this at all).

To demonstrate how much love goes on at one of these cons, the Creative Loafing (a free weekly) out of Atlanta put together a list of the best "Missed Connections" that the paper received during this year's Dragon Con.

After the break you can see some of them and feel slightly soiled

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LET THIS LITTLE DIDDY GET STUCK IN YOUR HEAD: Introducing the Midichlorian Rhapsody

Still want to punch him hard in the face


Hello everybody! And a good Thursday Morning to you all...today I would like to take a moment of your your precious time to share a musical number that will undoubtedly be struck in your noggin all day causing you to go insane and/or numb from the eyeballs down.

Is the song good? Yes. Will it begin to grind its way into the deepest crevices of your mind, stopping at nothing until it influences that part of your brain that controls your vocal cords, thus causing you to hum its tune as you drop a deuce in the bathroom at work? No doubt about it.

May the madness begin little Stormtrooper...

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Wednesday, September 8, 2010

The Gunslinger Filmed... And Televised


The Dark Tower's journey to the screen has lead to Imagine Entertainment and Universal, which will co-produce three feature films and a television series based on the Stephen King penned series of novels and their comic book spin-offs.

King will co-produce with Imagine's Brian Grazer, Ron Howard and Akiva Goldsman -- the trio that successfully translated A Beautfiul Mind and completely muddied up The Da Vinci Code. Howard is on board to direct the first film and the entire first season of the televison show and writing chores for the whole project have been handed over to Goldsman.
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WANNA SEE SOME REASONABLY ATTRACTIVE HALF-NAKED PEOPLE Covered In Superhero Paint Suits?


I try to cover a plethora of geeky endeavors from gaming, to comics, to interesting art, but the pervy part of me jumped at the chance to post some pictures of people covered in body paint and letting it all hang out.

What can I say, I grew up on late night Cinemax and early 80s sex comedies, it's not my fault.

Anywho, the pics are after the break and many thanks to Blastr for the inspiration.

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THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! The Fantastically Horrible Movie "The Room" Is Now Available As A Flash Game

Oh Hai, most sweetest Flash game ever!


If you read my posts, then you know I have an exquisite love affair with the movie The Room, and now comes word that the folks over at Newgrounds have created a tribute game to Tommy Wiseau and his masterpiece of Awesomeness.

I can't express into words how happy this makes me and I expect to be bowing down to Tom Fulp (Newgrounds founder and lord of cool) and pledging my love and devotion him and his flash Gods in about ten minutes.

And, for Christ's sake, if you haven't watched this movie DO SO NOW! It is Epic in every sense of the word.

If I had a soul, it would be filled with something close to love.

After the break is a link to the game as well as a little something special for everyone.

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