Friday, April 18, 2014
Sure, the First Class has long since graduated and we're still a bit a ways from the Days of Future Past, but FOG! has teamed up with our friends at TV Store Online to welcome you to the Charles Xavier School For Gifted Youngsters by giving away an X-Prize Package!
We're giving away:
Xavier Institute for Higher Learning T-Shirt
This 100% cotton black t-shirt features a red print of the Xavier Institute for Higher Learning logo and the phrase Mutatis Mutandis. It's the perfect attire for gifted youngsters.
X Belt Buckle
Every good mutant needs a belt to keep his tights up. This X-Men logo belt buckle provides a sense of style to a world that fears and hates them.
In the 70s, it was damn near bankrupt. The Bronx looked like a war zone. Homeless people almost outnumbered homed people. The garbage collector strike wreaked havoc on the entire city. The subways weren’t safe. Ever.
Sadly, this is still the image that many people have of NYC.
And, while it does have its charm and romance…if your idea of romance is getting mugged while watching the dirtiest porn you can think of. I kind of love reading stories about The Deuce and its grindhouses. And I absolutely love movies that are set in that particular world.
But, just as I couldn’t live in NYC now, I DEFINITELY couldn’t live there in the 70s or 80s. It was just far too volatile for…well, anyone, really.
(I say all of this, but I love the hell out of New York City. As a visitor, though. I spent four weeks there one time. It was enough to go from “I could live here!” to tapping my fingers very roughly on the table, thinking “I gotta get outta here NOW!”)
There are, however, two sides to every story.
For every story about the Lower East Side burning, there’s a story about the Upper West side’s parties.
Let’s take a look at the two sides of NYC in two classic 70s movies.
While John Hughes might have cornered the market on fabulous teen dramas (and rightly so) there were a few flicks that slipped into the mix that might have been forgotten (or worse, never seen at all) that are worthy of being shelved next to Pretty in Pink, The Breakfast Club and Some Kind of Wonderful (and yes, I'm well aware of Sixteen Candles and the rest of the Hughes oeuvre, I just didn't want to type them all out).
And one of those highly evolved teen movies is Seven Minutes in Heaven, starring Jennifer Connelly (A Beautiful Mind), Maddie Corman (The Adventures of Ford Fairlane) and Byron Thames (Johnny Dangerously) as 15 year-old friends who are trying to negotiate the choppy waters of budding adulthood, friend jealousy and the always painful "I-Wanna-Be-More-Than-Friends" rejection from those you want the most.
Take my word for it, it is a gut-wrenching, funny, brilliant tale of the teenage years that should have become a classic (and it also co-stars the dreamy Billy Wirth from The Lost Boys if you need a little more enticing). So watch the movie after the break then buy it HERE to add to your collection...it's so worth it.
In 1965 NBC green lit a shitastic show called My Mother The Car about a guy (Jerry Van Dyke, Coach) whose dead mother (voiced by Ann Southern, The Whales of August) is re-incarnated as a shitty rundown car that he then buys and fixes up (which makes sense since you wouldn't want your mom to be covered in mud and rust right?). The show lasted one season and is considered, by most critics and viewers, to be the single worst show to have ever graced the small screen...the worst...meaning a show like Here Comes Honey Boo Boo is vastly superior to it.
Chew on that for a while.
While the show itself might be stupid and weird, what is even more confounding is the fact that the Candy Man himself (that would be Sammy Davis Jr for all of you who didn't grow up watching Rat Pack movies on late night TV) did a cover of the ridiculous theme song, giving credence to a show that would have been nixed had all the TV execs not been drunk on Scotch or whatever else they drank back in the 60s while at the office.
Sammy's cover is after the break, and, as a gesture to educate you on the horribleness of My Mother the Car, I've also included the first episode.
YOUR BODY DURING ADOLESCENCE: An Educational Film Short That Examines Why Your Inner Parts Enjoy F*cking Sh*t Up
|These People's Glands Are All F*cking Crazy|
The years between thirteen and eighteen can be emotionally and physiologically difficult. Feelings are intensified, emotions run rampant, logic and critical thinking skills are nowhere to be seen and let's face it, the down low naughty parts are constantly inflamed and ready to do things that even hookers stay away from.
So yeah, you can say that there's a reason why teenagers are so fucking nuts.
But since education is key when it comes to understanding why the hell things keep leaking out of various orifices, this film short, while from the 50s, is pretty damn helpful. There's a bunch of stuff about sex glands, boobs, scrotums and hair growing in weird places that are comforting to anyone who is undergoing horrible body changes, as well as a soft-spoken narrator who calmly says "Don't Worry" several times after alerting the viewer to the fact that sometimes shit occurs in the body that can freak people the fuck out.
Yep, the human body is pretty great...if you don't mind going crazy for a few years.
Film after the break.
|Review by Clay N Ferno|
Produced by Broderick Johnson, Andrew A. Kosorve,
Kate Cohen, Marisa Polvino, Annie Marter,
David Valdes, Aaron Ryder
Written by Jack Paglen
Directed by Wally Pfister
Starring Johnny Depp, Morgan Freeman,
Rebecca Hall, Kate Mara, Cillian Murphy,
Cole Hauser, Paul Bettany
Johnny Depp stars as Dr. Will Caster in Transcendence, a look at the singularity whereby artificial intelligence progresses to beyond human intelligence.
A self-replicating computer (Depp) attempts to right the wrongs in the world via technological intervention as Evelyn Caster (Rebecca Hall) is caught between helping her husband’s dream come true and her own humanity. Anti-tech rebel Bree (Kate Mera) enlists the help of former Caster colleagues Joseph Tagger (Morgan Freeman) and Max Waters (Paul Bettany) and FBI Agent Buchanan (Cillian Murphy) to shut this whole thing down.
We’re introduced to the Caster couple as they are ready to give a symposium on the benefits of artificial intelligence to a sold out auditorium. A member of the anti-tech contingent, RIFT attempts to assassinate Dr. Caster shortly after the presentation. He is not killed, but poisoned by an isotope that infected his blood stream with radiation poisoning.
Most of this review will unavoidably reveal major plot points, so consider yourself warned.
Thursday, April 17, 2014
|Guest Post by Mike Wilmering|
Every once in a while a human being puts on a superhuman performance that makes all of the mere mortals around him stare in awe, mouths agape, dumbfounded by the sheer brilliance of what they just witnessed.
Fifty years ago, the chess geeks of the world emerged from their caves, slack jawed and dazed by one of the most dominating performances in chess history.
Robert James Fischer, affectionately known as Bobby, was already well established on the U.S. chess scene. He’d already won his first U.S. Chess Championship in 1957 at the age of 14 and was the presumed favorite when the 1963-64 U.S. Championship came along. He was an emerging hero not yet at the pinnacle of his career, but well on his way to legendary status.
But Bobby was a perfectionist. And Bobby wasn’t pleased with his play at the previous U.S. Championship. Sure he won the 1962-63 U.S. Championship, but only barely. And for the first time in almost four years, he actually lost a U.S. Championship game.
And Bobby didn’t like to lose.
|Also available is the EVERYTHING IS AWESOME EDITION |
with exclusive LEGO minifigure, bonus 3D movie, and more!
The original 3D computer-animated story follows Emmet, an ordinary, rules-following, perfectly average LEGO minifigure who is mistakenly identified as The Special, the most extraordinary person and the key to saving the world. He is drafted into a fellowship of strangers on an epic quest to stop an evil tyrant, a journey for which Emmet is hopelessly and hilariously underprepared.
First ... Goodbye to "Stephen Colbert." Long live Stephen Colbert.
And second ... Figures.
The first phrase, because Colbert feels like a good fit to follow in Letterman's footsteps. Intelligent, smart-alecky, a propensity for the absurd, and a stage persona based on gentlemanly impishness. Colbert has been the leader of irreverent comedy for the past few years. And he's already a Viacom employee, as Comedy Central and CBS are corporate sisters.
But the "Colbert" character he portrayed on Comedy Central – a bigoted conservative whose blind values satirically get in the way of his own common sense or benefit – would be finished forever. That guy can't interview Will Smith and Jennifer Aniston every night.
The second phrase, because, quite frankly, a late night TV talk atmosphere nearly exclusively white and male needed its replacement to be the same.
OK, OK, I can feel you rolling your eyes.