But what does that mean this day and age? To be a 'geek' or 'nerd' is so 'in' right now. Don't get me wrong, its a great time to be what we are, to do what we do. It just feels like that band you've listened to since they recorded a demo tape in their basement - now they're selling out stadiums and selling their merch at Hot Topic. That's kind of what being a geek can be like now. Nerd is the new black. Geek is the new chic (woah, I just channeled the Jenny Jones Show circa 1998). But my point is that anyone can say they're a geek nowadays. That could be why I feel the need to prove it all the time.
Are geeks really as competitive as I think? I play the game with a friendly one-upmanship, but a one-upmanship nonetheless. I've been going to the same comic shop almost every Sunday for the last three years, and every time I step foot in the joint or go to the counter with my purchases I get the liquor store complex. You know, when you're 26 years old buying a pack of Grolsch and still thinking you are 17; "Hello there, good sir, I would like to purchase this alcoholic beverage as I am well above the legal drinking age". But the comic store, that's the real proving ground. It took me two years to get past the tourist status of customer. Even now, being on chit-chat terms with the god-like staff, I feel my picks of the week scrutinized by more beady eyes than Shelob. Listen to me, I sound desperate. I just name-dropped Tolkien.
To make matters worse for this geek identity crisis, I have no idea what kind of geek I am. I peruse the many categories of geekdom and subscribe to every one. Well, except anime and table top gaming, that's lame. Kidding, of course (I was a Magic: The Gathering fiend for years). Some days I feel like a film geek, some days a comic geek. Some days I prefer sci-fi, others a good classic horror flick. One day I'll ravage the comic aisles, the next I'll be flipping through the pegs in the toy department of my local mega mart. I may have been guilty of following a trend or two in my foolish youth, but whatever drives this geekiness was born in me I'm sure.
On the surface, I am merely Ryan Ferrier. I work as a web designer in Alberta, Canada. To the unsuspecting public, I'm just a normal, average guy. But there's things, dark things hidden in the recesses of my geeky soul. So it is with the launch of Forces of Geek, that I step into the church of geek and confess. May Zod have mercy on my soul... my sins are as follows:
My first movie memory was of winter of '86. My parents had rented a video tape player (I'm dating even myself here) and one VHS tape for my brother and I to enjoy. That film: Gremlins. Little did I know that what I saw that night would traumatize me for the next 8 years. I refer to these years as 'the sleepless' ones.
My second movie memory: seeing Jaws for the first time. Great, now as well as not sleeping I'm not swimming or bathing. This also explains my irrational fear of toilet-sharks.
Shortly after the Gremlins debacle, my parents finally purchased a video cassette player. It stopped working months later. The VCR repair man found the problem: lodged inside the bits and bobbles that make the machine work, he found a tiny plastic parrot. This parrot belonged to the G.I. Joe Shipwreck toy. I was thrilled to have that parrot back.
I caught myself yelling "nice, Michael Ironside is in this one!" at the tv the other night.
I have a Watchmen tattoo.
I have a Nintendo tattoo.
I really want a Daredevil tattoo.
A few months ago I was in my local Toys R Us, flipping trough the Transformers. There was a little girl in the same aisle, no more than 5 years old, with her mom. Apparently she was fascinated by me, an adult by society's standards in a toy store. She turned to her mother and asked loudly, "Mommy, what's HE doing in here?".
I care greatly about points of articulation.
I have triple-dipped more than one DVD.
I have purchased one of the above triple-dips on Blu-Ray.
One time I watched the film Hackers seven times consecutively. That film is terrible. No one can hack the Gibson.
I love the Alien 3 special edition (the 2003 restored work print version). I really think people are too hard on the theatrical cut as well. That score is epic.
I pay attention to a movie's score.
I still sleep with an Airwolf pillowcase.
I played a six-hour round of Star Wars trivia with someone in a crowded, noisy bar. I thought I had him beat when I named all of the pilots in Rogue Squadron for the battle of Yavin (including their call numbers). I was defeated, however, with "what color are Yoda's eyes?".
Rutger Hauer's "tears in rain" scene in Blade Runner makes me weep. Like a big, fat replicant baby.
I am the world's biggest Kurt Russell fan.
My favorite Christmas movie is John Carpenter's The Thing. Okay, so not really a holiday flick, but it has tons of snow and Kurt Russell kinda resembles Santa.
There was a life-sized stormtrooper stand-up at my wedding.
I get embarrassed when I watch The 40 Year Old Virgin, because my apartment looks like that of said 40 year old virgin's.
I have watched the Watchmen trailers well over thirty times.
My Dad was in Las Vegas last summer, right before my birthday, where he met actor Warwick Davis. For a gift, he gave me a signed 8x10 of Warwick (as Wickett). It was the highlight of my birthday, but I was sad that I couldn't have met Warwick in person. It reads, "To Ryan, may the force be with you on your birthday". The part that made it so awesome was that my Dad was so happy to have won the Best Gift Award '08.
My first comic was Crisis on Infinite Earths #7. I still have it bagged and boarded in mint condition. I'm going to frame it when I get a bigger place. It will go in the 'special room'. Truth be told I found Crisis on Infinite Earths as a whole to be entirely too dense and erratically written.
I watched Enemy Mine every single weekend it was on TBS. Its true, 45 times a year can be a little too much Dennis Quaid with an alien.
In my closet some of the items you will find include t-shirts for Batman, Rocky, Green Lantern and one that depicts an entire level of Donkey Kong.
I better stop here... you know... this was really cathartic. I feel cleansed. So now you know me... I've exposed my geeky innards to the world, like Mola Ram clutching a beating heart. And if you're still with me, if you haven't melted to a sloppy pile like Major Toht, I'll be back to talk geek with you soon enough.
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