Transcript of the Third 1976 Presidential Debate

The presidential election of 1976 is generally considered to have been held, like most recent presidential elections, between two parties, the Republican Party, who presented as their candidate Gerald “Jerry” Ford, and the Democratic Party, who put forward James “Jimmy” Carter. In the aftermath of the Watergate Scandal and Nixon’s resignation, there was much dissatisfaction among the voting public with the major parties, and for the first time, there were serious attempts by third party candidates to achieve the presidency.




Eugene McCarthy ran as an independent. Roger McBride was the Libertarian candidate, and Peter Camejo was running for the Socialist Workers Party. Another key factor was that for the first time since 1960 there were held a series of three televised Presidential Debates, sponsored by the League of Women Voters. Ratings for the first debate were okay, but for the second debate they were much worse. In an attempt to garner ratings, ABC TV executives instructed their producers to extend invitations to candidates from all the minor and trivial parties, with the policy that the first three candidates to respond would be granted a place on the stage. By the time the television executives and the League of Women Voters realized what a mistake they made, it was already too late.

The debate, held on October 22, 1976 was hosted by Barbara Walters, and consisted of five candidates. Here is the unaltered transcript:

The 1976 Presidential Debate

MS. WALTERS: Good evening, I'm Baba Wawa, modewator of the wast of the pwesidential debates of 1976. As you can see, tonights debate is a wittle diffewent fwom the pwevious two. On stage is Gewald W. Fowd, Wepubwican candidate for pwesident, Jimmy Carter, Democwatic candidate for pwesident, Winda Wovewace, the Upwight Pawty candidate for Pwesident, Howawd the Duck, the All-Night Pawty candidate for pwesident, and Alfwed E. Newman, Independent. Wewcome, Pwesident Ford, Govewnor Carter, Mr. Newman, Mr. uh, Duck…



MR. DUCK: Call me Howard, toots.

MS. WALTERS: …and Ms. Wovewace. This debate takes pwace before an audience in Memowial Hall on the campus of the Cowwege of William and Mary in histowic Wiwwiamsburg, Viwginia. The subject matter of this debate is open, covewing all issues and topics. Our questionews tonight are Joseph Kwaft, syndicated cowumnist; Wobert Maynard, editowial wwiter for the Washington Post; and Jack Newson, Washington buweau chief of the Wos Angewes Times. The ground ruwes tonight are as fowwows: Questioners will altewnate questions between the candidates. The candidate has up to two minutes to answer the question. The other candidates have up to one minute to wespond. None of the candidates have pwepared notes or comments with them this evening, but they may make notes and wefer to them duwing the debate. It has been detewmined that Pwesident Fowd wiwl take the fiwst question in this wast debate, and Mr. Kwaft, you have that fiwst question for Pwesident Ford.

MR. KRAFT: Mr. Pwesident, uh, President, I assume that the Americans all know that these are difficult times and that they don't expect something for nothing. So, I'd like to ask you as a first question: as you look ahead in the next four years, what sacrifices are you going to call on the American people to make, what price are you going to ask them to pay to realize your objectives?

President Ford attempt to take a sip of water, and splashes it down the front of his suit.



MR. FORD: Mr. Kraft, I believe that the American people, in the next four years under a Ford administration, will be called upon to tighten their belts, and make those necessary sacrifices to preserve the peace which we have. Hmm. I’m wet. No problem! Which means, of course, that we will have to maintain an adequate military capability. Which means, of course, that we will have to add a few billion dollars to our defense appropriations to make certain that we have adequate strategic forces and adequate conventional forces.

MS. WALTERS: Thank you. Mr. D- uh, Howawd, your wesponse pwease.

MR. DUCK: Tighten my belt? I’m not wearing any pants! If the guys in the military want bigger, deadlier, more expensive weapons, swell! But we gotta cut something. How ‘bout housing? They can rough it- in caves. It’ll suit their temperment! I can see it now- Fort Neanderthal!

MS. WALTERS: Thank you Howawd. Govewnor Cawter?



MR. CARTER: Well I might say first of all that the fowl may find that even forthrightness, carried to its extreme, may be deleterious in the long view. Maybe not though. I think in case of the Carter administration the sacrifices would be much less. The major effort we must put forward is to put our people back to work. I know I'm ready for it. I think the American people are too.

MS. WALTERS: Vewy wewl. Ms. Wovewace?



MS. LOVELACE: I’m against tightening belts. I’m for loosening them.

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MS. LOVELACE: And I agree with that guy who just dropped all his notecards. You know, oh, what’s his name.

MS. WALTERS: That’s the President.

MS. LOVELACE: Yeah! And the duck’s cute- cute like a puppy!

MS. WALTERS: Thank you, Miss Wovewace. Mr. Newman? Mr. Newman, your wesponse?



MR. NEWMAN: Hmm? Is it my turn? I was just noticing all the people on stage. How come we choose from just two people for President, and fifty for Miss America?

MS. WALTERS: The question is about the Amewican people and sacwifice.

MR. NEWMAN: Sacrifice? The American people are so lazy, they don't even exercise good judgement!

MS. WALTERS: The next question is fwom Mr. Maynard, and is for Govewnor Cawter.

MR. MAYNARD: Governor, by all indications, the voters are so turned off by this election campaign so far that only half intend to vote. One major reason for this apathetic electorate appears to be the low level at which this campaign has been conducted. It has digressed frequently from important issues into allegations of blunder and brainwashing and fixations on lust and Playboy. What responsibility do you accept for the low level of this campaign for the nation's highest office?

MR. CARTER: I think the major reason for a decrease in participation has been the deep discouragement of the American people about the performance of public officials. In the aftermath of Vietnam and Cambodia and Watergate and the CIA revelations, people have felt that they've been betrayed by public officials. The Playboy thing has been of very great concern to me. I don't know how to deal with it exactly. If I should ever decide in the future to discuss my deep Christian beliefs and condemnation and sinfulness, I'll use another forum besides Playboy.

MS. WALTERS: Thank you, Governor Carter. Ms. Wovewace, pwease put down your hand, this isn’t school. You may wespond.

MS. LOVELACE: I was in Playboy. Not the centerfold, but they covered my campaign and reviewed my movies. Also I met Hef at the Grotto, and I showed him my specialty. They’re very nice, very curious people at Playboy. I have some pictures in my purse…

MS. WALTERS: That won’t be necessawy… Howawd?

MR. DUCK: What do we care about private morality of politicians? As long as the taxpayers aren’t financin’ their little romps, senators an’ congressmen and governors deserve to have a little fun. Heck, we ought to be heartened to know some o’ these old prunes have still got it in ‘em. Go ahead and lust all you want in your heart Carter. That ain’t a scandal, it’s being human.

MR. FORD: I believe that the American people have been turned off in this election for a variety of reasons. We have seen on Capitol Hill, in the Congress, a great many allegations of wrong-doing, of alleged immorality, those are very disturbing to the American people. They wonder how an elected representative can serve them and participate in such activities. I do make a pledge that we do together what we can to stimulate voter participation.

MS. LOVELACE: I’m feeling stimulated, Mr. President.

rimshot

MR. NEWMAN: Carter and Ford. It takes one to know one, and vice versa. In retrospect it becomes clear that hindsight is definitely overrated. Ever notice that when people talk about morality it’s always about your morality?

MS. WALTERS: Mr. Nelson, your question to Howard.

MR. NELSON: I’m not putting questions to a duck.

MR. DUCK: That’s all right. I’m not answering questions posed by idiots.

Howard The Duck announcing his candidacy.

MR. NELSON: My question is for Governor Carter. Despite the fact that you've been running for president a long time now, many Americans still seem to be uneasy about you. One problem seems to be that you haven't reached out to bring people of broad background or national experience into your campaign or your presidential plans. Most of the people around you on a day-to-day basis are the people you've known in Georgia. Many of them are young and relatively inexperienced in national affairs. And doesn't this raise a serious question as to whether you would bring into a Carter administration people with the necessary background to run the federal government?

MR. CARTER: I don't believe it does. The one major decision that I have made since acquiring the nomination, is the choice of a vice president. I chose Senator Walter Mondale. And the only criterion I ever put forward in my own mind was who among the several million people in this country would be the best person qualified to be president, if something should happen to me and to join me in being vice president if I should serve out my term. I don't want to say anything critical of Senator Dole, but I've never heard Mr. Ford say that that was his primary consideration - Who is the best person I could choose in this country to be president of the United States?

MR. FORD: The Governor may not have heard, but it was a well-established criteria that the person I selected would be fully qualified to be president of the United States. And Senator Bob Dole is so qualified: sixteen years in the House of Representatives and in the Senate, very high responsibilities on important committees. And if he should ever become the president of the United States, with his vast experience as member the House and a member of the Senate, as well as a vice president, I think he would do an outstanding job as president of the United States.

MR. NEWMAN: My Vice Presidential nominee, Dave Berg, will happily explore the lighter side of politics. I think from this nomination you’ll get a good idea of how I’ll arrange my government. I already have Don Martin working up some new weapons systems as Secretary of War, and Antonio Prohias has accepted the position of Director of the CIA. But, you know you can still be on the right track and be hit by a train.

MS. LOVELACE: I’d like to put the Vice back into the Vice President.

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MS. LOVELACE: So I’m thinking my Deep Throat co-star Harry Reems, or maybe Governor Carter over there… Hi there Governor Carter! He’s kind of cute. And he used to be in the navy, I love the navy. It’s filled with seamen.

rimshot

MS. WALTERS: That’s quite enough Ms. Wovewace.

MS. LOVELACE: Oh dear. Did I blow it?

rimshot

MS. WALTERS: Probably.

rimshot

MS. WALTERS: Howard, any response?

MR. DUCK: I said I’m not answering questions from idiots. I’ll stick to that.

MS. WALTERS: Mr. Kraft, your question to President Ford.

MR. KRAFT: People really wanna know why you vetoed the strip-mining bill. They wanna know why you worked against strong controls on auto emissions. They wanna know why you aren't doing anything about pollution. They wanna know why a bipartisan organization such as the National League of Conservation Voters says that when it comes to environmental issues, you are, and I'm quoting, "hopeless."

President Ford stops applying the Band-Aid to his forehead. No one remembers him hurting himself.

MR. FORD: I have increased the funding for water treatment plants in the United States. I have fully funded the land and water conservation program. I have added in the current year budget the funds for the National Park Service. I have signed and approved of more scenic rivers, more wilderness areas, since I've been president than any other president in the history of the United States.

MR. CARTER: Well, I might say that I think the League of Conservation Voters is absolutely right. This administration's record on environment is very bad. There's been a consistent policy on the part of this administration to lower or delay enforcement of air pollution standards and water pollution standards. And this administration, having been in office now for two years or more, has still not taken strong and bold action to stop the proliferation of nuclear waste around the world, particularly plutonium. Those are some brief remarks about the failures of this administration. I would do the opposite in every respect.

MR. DUCK: My record on the environment speaks for itself. I opposed the Fleasville Arkansas Nuclear Power Plant, and prevented it being opened. From one square block in New York I collected a steam shovel full of non-returnable, non-recyclable containers, and delivered them back to the Prodigal Can Company Headquarters. Let them deal with it. We need real action on the environment, not lazy half-assed measures.

MS. WALTERS: Wanguage, Mr. Duck.

MR. DUCK: Are you related to Winda Wester?

MS. WALTERS: Who?

MR. DUCK: Never mind.

MS. LOVELACE: I love the Earth, and the environment. I love animals. In some of my early work I really love animals. Really. A vote for me is a blow for the environment.

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MS. WALTERS: Thank you, gentlemen, and “lady.” This will complete our questioning for this debate. So now each candidate will be allowed one minute for a closing statement.

MR. DUCK: Thank you Barbara. Ladies an’ germs, I’ll keep my smart remarks brief. I didn’t particularly wanna be president of this coast-to-coast funny farm you hairless apes have set up. When they asked me to run I had just been hit on the head and didn’t really understand what I was agreein’ to. But I’ve reached the conclusion that most o’ the American public is in the same condition most o’ the time, so maybe I’m the ideal candidate. You meat brains willingly subject yourselves to more abuse, physical and psychological, than any other nation in history! I’m gonna inject some life into this country. For four years this country’s gonna get down and boogie, see? Ungawa!

MR. FORD: I, uh, am not quite certain how to interpret or respond to this duck’s theatrics. But if it’s supposed to be joke, it’s not funny. Is it dirty, or what? Anyway, for twenty-five years I served in the Congress under five presidents. I saw them work, I saw them make very hard decisions. I love America just as all of you love America. It would be the highest honor for me to have your support on November second and for you to say, "Jerry Ford, you've done a good job, keep on doing it." Thank you, and good night.

MR. NEWMAN: Prison inmates are treated to cable TV, hot meals and a college education, while on the outside some people can only afford these things through a life of crime! Today, if you ask a car dealer to let you see something for 10 grand, he'll show you the door! Who says nothing is impossible? Some people do it every day! Vote for Newman, early and often.

MR. CARTER: I believe together we can make great progress. We can correct our difficult mistakes and answer those very tough questions. I believe in the greatness of our country, and I believe the American people are ready for a change in Washington. We've been drifting too long. We've been dormant too long. We've been discouraged too long. And with inspiration and hard work we can achieve great things. And let the world know - that's very important. But more importantly, let the people in our own country realize that we still live in the greatest nation on earth. Thank you very much.

MS. LOVELACE: Hi everybody! Thanks for coming! I know what your thinking: Lady President: Hard to swallow right? But I know that all it takes is practice, you know? When I helped Woodward and Bernstein topple the Nixon administration by giving them secret Whitehouse intelligence…

MS. WALTERS: Wait a minute, awe you saying that you’we Deep Thwoat?

MS. LOVELACE: Well duh…

It was at this point in the broadcast that shots rang out. As the secret service rushed in to protect Carter, Ford and Newman, more shots were fired from an entirely different direction. It was later determined that two assassins stalked the Memorial Hall that day, an insane Bellboy with an anti-duck bias fired at Howard, while a hired killer known as the Assassinator shot at Linda Lovelace. The only candidate to be hurt that night, however, was President Ford, who stumbled down the stairs to the left of the stage and suffered a concussion.