Every now and then, a song will take you back. That's one of the beautiful things about music, when it gives you a "soundtrack" moment. However, at the time, it doesn't always feel so "beautiful." But as you get older, you look back and laugh. The following is a memoir from my youth. I like to call them "The Blunder Years.""1989. The number, another summer..." - Public Enemy
It was the summer of 1989.
Big things were happening for the twelve year old (nearly thirteen) version of Jay Williams.
I had just finished my last year of Little League in which I made the all-star team. Later that summer, I was heading to Europe.
To quote T.I., "Big things poppin'/Little things stoppin." But before my cross-Atlantic journey, I was going to summer camp again. After the first few days, there was a girl, Lia, who caught my eye. I eventually made my move. (Not a bold move but one more akin to Kevin Arnold, possibly more cringeworthy.)
Oddly enough, my "move" worked and we began "going out" (does anyone still use this term?).
Anyway, things were going well for Lia and I, or so I thought. Both Lia and I were going on the camp canoe trip down the scenic Connecticut River. As one would imagine, this was very exciting for me. I thought to myself , "This is going to be great. What could go wrong?"
So about two hours into the trip, a rainstorm breaks out. Eventually, we arrive at the campsite, soaked from the rain. After setting up our tents, she says we need to talk After the first day of paddling in the rain, she hits me with the "I don't want to to go out with you but I still want to be friends" line. (This actually also the first marks the first time I told a girl who suggested we be friends, to go fuck herself. Then, I went to my tent and bawled like Milhouse. It was a rollercoaster of emotions. Yeah, I tended to be a bit sensitive as a lad.)
I eventually tried to pull myself together after various pep talks from counselors and other campers.
Strangely enough, I had to go to the bathroom.
One would have thought with all the crying, I'd be thirsty. As I exited the Porta-pottie, who should I see? Lia and her new beau in a warm embrace. The new beau: Neil. In many ways, Neil was my polar opposite. He was tall. I was short. He had a sweet teenage mustache. I did not. He had about ten Metallica shirts. In fact, I think he only wore Metallica shirts.There might have been some Guns n' Roses shirts in there too, but mostly Metallica. Oddly, I didn't have many music-related shirts. I was more a fan of shirts that beared caricatures of my favorite athletes. There was no competition. They both kind of looked down at the ground after realizing I was standing right there.
Me, I headed back to my tent for a Morrissey Moment to wallow in my misery. And guess who's behind the Porta-Potty making out? Neil and Lia, the former object of my affection..
(Blogger's note: her last name.....you'll never guess.....go ahead.......try......please.......just guess the most outlandish name that almost seems and fake and I'd only be making it up to make this story funny.......here it is....drumroll please........Slutsky [rimshot].
I'm dead serious. That was her name. I swear on all that is holy. If I'm lying, I'm dying. May Chuck D marry Paris Hilton in a ceremony conducted by the ghost of Joe Strummer if I'm lying.)
Eventually, I got over it.
And the next summer, I "went out" with another girl. But the next summer at camp, Biz Markie's "Just A Friend" was the jam du jour. And for a minute, I totally connected with the song...but for different reasons than the Biz. Biz got cheated on.
Me, I got dumped/put in the friend zone (a.k.a. The Governor of Friendsylvania).
Nevertheless, I said "I totally get where you're coming from Biz. She did the same thing to me last summer." I especially loved the "Oh snap! Guess what I saw?/A fella tongue-kissing my girl in the mouth/I was so in shock, my heart went down south." That was probably the part that resonated the most. In my 13 year old mind, me and the Biz had a lot in common. It may not seem like much but it was huge that there was a song that expressed what I felt more or less.
This wasn't the last time I'd get dumped and it wouldn't be the last I would find a musical anthem.
Thus, began a long fruitful relationship between me and the music.
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