IN DEFENSE OFGhoulies

During the summer of 1984 moviegoers were treated to a strange blend of gory effects-filled horror in the package of a family friendly film that would forever change the industry. Gremlins not only helped pave the way for PG-13, but it unleashed a load of creature knock-off movies in the next few years like Critters, Troll, Hobgoblins, Beasties, Spookies, and Munchies. But my pick of the rips is 1985's slimy satinic tale that promised to "get you in the end."


geek contributor pictured with beloved vhs
First of all, I'm under no delusion that Ghoulies is in any way a good movie (now, Ghoulies III: Ghoulies Go to College is another thing). Rather than defend the film, I thought I'd remind us all that we geeks tend to pick obsessions that last a lifetime. This is one little stinker of a movie that I have been known to dust off my original VHS copy of, when it's not playing on cable (which is, like, always).

It all goes back to the spring of 1985, where Ghoulies is about to be rushed into theaters after being rushed into post-production. The production actually started in 1983, but with Gremlins taking the box-office by storm, this Empire Pictures gem was fast-tracked to be the first of a long line of rip-offs. Being a twelve year old überfan of Joe Dante's slick horror comedy, I jumped at the notion watching anything remotely resembling a gremlin, and the Ghoulies television spots, with its John Buechler puppets attacking horny teens in a mansion was like hitting pay-dirt.

I flip through the phone book (we did that back then) and quickly dial the theater that it was being advertised at (Ann Arbor's old Campus Theatre) and...

Campus, how may I help you?

Yes, hi, do you have ghoulies?

Um, excuse me?

Ghoulies? Do you have Ghoulies, or know when you're getting it?

Uh, sir, this is the Campus Inn

A call to the correct number soon-after would lead me to an obsession with a movie that pushes the PG-13 farther than a gremlin ever could.

Satan worshiping preppies, chest bursting virgins, repeated use of the same puppet to give the illusion there are many, little people in metal skull caps, zombie corpses busting out of their graves, tacky rotoscoping effects, a pre-Law and Order Mariska Hargitay and Jack "Eraserhead" Nance as Wolfgang, the caretaker.

Yep, it's a classic.