Forces of Geek: we like pop culture: Rock, Paper, Scissors: an Introduction

As I write this, I'm thinking ahead to tonight, when I stand at the front of a cramped, crowded bar, unwillingly inhaling an atmosphere of secondhand smoke.

In my mind, my fist is pumped and primed to throw a savage pair of scissors at my opponent.

Or rock.

Maybe paper.

Why should I confirm to you?

You may be one of them...

Anticipation and paranoia are a regular part of my life every spring, during the course of eight weeks stretching from April to June. Tonight, people will be cheering my opponents, screaming for my defeat. As people have become fond of saying over the past year, it's me versus the world. The game is rock paper scissors, and the competition arena is the city of Philadelphia.

I first became aware of rock paper scissors as competitive sport in April of 2006, when the Pabst Blue Ribbon Philadelphia Rock Paper Scissors City League Championship Series launched its inaugural season. A blurb in a local alternative weekly paper tipped me off, and out of curiosity, I ventured to my first event, during the second week of the league's eight-week regular season. That night, I learned the rules of tournament play, as set down by the World RPS Society, the venerated governing body for RPS competition the world over.

Tournament matches are composed of best-of-three matches, each match in itself played to the best of three throws. The format is single elimination, with players adhering to the most basic of rules:

1) There are only three throws: rock, paper and scissors.

2) Scissors must be thrown vertically and paper must be thrown horizontally.

3) Players shoot on four, i.e. "1, 2, 3, shoot!"

Matches are officiated by a certified referee of the World RPS Society, who in this case, also serves as founder and commissioner of the League. His name is C. Urbanus, and on top of his duties, he's also the announcer, mixing the insight and sly humor of Howard Cosell with the bombast of Michael Buffer.

On that first night, I was drawn in by the self-awareness of it all; serious while recognizing how silly it can be. Rock paper scissors as a competitive sport seems like a joke at first, until you realize how deceptively complex the game can be. Not unlike poker, it is a game of misdirection, of psychology, and even of strategy. But don't ever tell an established player it's a game of chance.

I keep flashing back to that night, when I made it to the semifinals, only to be eliminated by the Hood, Urbanus' fiancée and trainer. Maybe it was beginner's fortune, although we were all beginners then. Now, a subculture has grown around the league, with teams of devoted regulars vying each year for the $1,000 grand prize and assorted cash bonuses.

Tonight, I'll find myself chasing first place, as I have been for a few weeks now. I'll face the jeers of most of the other players, including the protegés I spurned. I will face the person in front of me, looking to make a name for him or herself by knocking off Frankie Thirteen.

And I'll laugh. Because I couldn't be happier.