Trip to Copyright Disneyland™ with the Hornblowers

The Hornblowers had planned their family trip to Copyright Disneyland™ so that it fell on the first week of that July, 2029.

Dad took a full week off from his job at the solar powered oil refinery and saved up enough money for them all to stay in the biggest suite at the Motel 600.

This was Bobby and Janie’s first trip to Copyright Disneyland™ and, boy, were they excited! Dad couldn’t get there fast enough for those two.

Dad had bought the special 3-day passes for everyone because, well, it was a great value. With Copyright Disneyland™’s Buy 2 days-Get 1 for Free, the cost ran only $450 per person. “How do they make any money at such low prices?” Mom wondered.

"Even from up here it looks magical!"

Immediately after going through the Disney™ Corp. branded metal detectors, Dad had to show proof of permit to the Disney-Blackwater™ employee if he wanted to have the peace of mind that goes with carrying his .45 caliber Glock (with laser-sighting) to ensure that he would be able to protect his family from some nutcase they let into the park with a gun.

Inside the park, the Hornblowers were met with nostalgic wonder as they gazed upon the wonderfully crafted replica of everyday life in Main Street, USA. Dad and Mom felt as though they’d traveled back forty years as they saw old time storefronts and workers dressed in period costumes.

Bobby and Janie giggled at seeing all of the funny outfits: the sweaters with hoods, the shoes with strings on them, the separate shirts and pants that people wore. It seemed like old times required a lot of work to get dressed before unitards and helmets!

You never know who you'll see on Main Street!

The Hornblowers walked up Main Street, USA at Copyright Disneyland™, seeing old time stores with their funny old signs that read ‘hand made’ and ‘video store’ and ‘home loans’ and ‘fresh fruit’ and ‘independently owned’. “It’s hard to believe this was ever a contemporary setting,” Mom overheard a passerby say.

“Look at that man with the sign, kids,” added Dad. “He’s dressed like an old time home-challenged man.”

“That’s adorable,” Mom said.

Janie read the sign that the character was holding. “‘Will work 4 food’.”

“4-food? What does that mean?” Bobby asked.

“Beats me,” Janie said. “I just like it cuz he wrote it with a number. Ha ha ha!”

“Don’t laugh,” Dad replied. “There actually used to be real people like that, especially during the three Depressions.”

It really is the "Happiest Place on Earth!™"

Bobby and Janie had never seen neon signs outside of a storefront before and were fascinated by all the glowing shapes they saw. Bobby liked the window with the three giant X’s glowing in red neon, while Janie preferred the one in front of the old time movie theater that read ‘GIRLS’. “Wow,” Janie thought, “a place for movies for girls. That’s for me!”

Just then, Dad pointed across the street and said, “Hey, kids. Look who’s walking past the Wal-Mart Emporium™.”

Immediately looking over, they both yelled, “Marty Mouse!”

Since rebooting many beloved, but admittedly antiquated, characters in 2015, Disney Corp. had seen a resurgence of youthful enthusiasm as evidenced by the increasing number park visitors and billions of dollars spent by general consumers.

Excited to meet one of his favorite characters, Bobby ran up and spoke directly to the giant hologram face perched atop a live person’s body. “Hi ya, Marty! Where’s Jabby™? I wanna see Jabby™.” (While the public adored Marty Mouse™, it wasn’t until Jabby was introduced as Marty’s Cuban domestic partner that the world really grabbed hold with an un-releasing embrace that was rewarded with a rise in stock prices.)

Knowing that the actors weren’t allowed to speak (once merely a rule, this had become California law in 2018 after a family successfully sued the state after their child overheard the actor portraying Eye-Ballz™--the ABC logo--utter the word ‘hello’), Dad came to the rescue. “I think Jabby™’s probably at home getting dressed, so that he can walk around the park. I’m sure we’ll see him, later, son.”

“Oh boy, I hope he dresses as Cabana Jabby™,” Bobby said with a grin that stretched from ear-to-ear.

Taking out the complimentary digital map that showcased all the lands throughout Copyright Disneyland™’s 45,000 acres, the family gathered around as Mom asked, “So, what should we do first?”

Everybody had an opinion. Bobby, who like every boy his age was obsessed with Disney™’s newest Jonas™ family film franchise, only wanted to ride Grand Theft Auto Mountain™. Mom was anxious to visit some of the velvet-lined stores and walk the black streets in Gothicland™, while her husband wanted to head straight for ESPNland™ and take in a game. As for Janie, all she wanted was to do what every girl her age at Copyright Disneyland™ was doing: spend as much time as possible in Montanaland™, where everything is named after either Lana or Jenna Montana (i.e. Jenna-pretzels™, Lana-shakes™, Jenna™-hair extensions, Jenna™ and Lana™’s Gold Record Spin-O-Rama™, etc.)

Mr. and Mrs. Hornblower had to make a decision. Should they let the kids do their own thing? After all, both of their helmets were turned on, so Mom could track both of them on iKids™. Then again, what was the point of a family trip if it wasn’t spent as a family?

Off to Explore the Park!

Suddenly, Dad snapped his fingers. “I know! We’ll ask Bucky™.”

The Hornblowers made their way through the small crowd of digital image takers who were all commemorating their meeting with Bucky, the Galactic Pioneer Beaver™ and pilot of the Starbucky™, the espresso-fueled rocket. After telling Bucky what big fans they all were of his espresso meals, Mr. Hornblower asked for assistance. “Ya see, it’s our first time here at CD and, well, we’re just wondering where we should go first.”

Without saying a word, Bucky turned and pointed to the giant castle that marked the very center of the westernmost quadrant of Copyright Disneyland™. The Hornblowers, realizing the obvious answer that had evaded them, all called out, “Jonas Family™ Castle!”

100 Floors of Purity!

Immediately, the Hornblowers hopped aboard the motorized sidewalk that led directly through the castle gate. All were amazed at the beauty and intricacies of the 15-year old castle, the Jonas™ family crest that hung proudly above the gate, the helicopter deck, the gunboats that patrolled the moat and, standing as the center of the castle, the shimmering beauty that made up Promise Ring Tower.

On the other side of the castle, the Hornblowers took their first look at the world famous Disney™ Corp. Presents In Association With The Coca-Cola Family of Beverages™ and Pfizer Global Pharmaceuticals Fantasyland™....