Music Is My New ‘Hood (Side A).

I am in total and complete mad, passionate love with Brooklyn.

And as those of us who grew up in the 1980s know, the requisite Pee Wee Herman response to that assertion is, “Why don’t you marry it?”

Well, maybe I will.

But seriously… if Brooklyn were one of my rockstar crushes, it would be 1994 Damon Albarn, 1980s Morrissey, and 1996 Jarvis Cocker all rolled into one.


And, as anyone who knows me will attest, that’s a pretty extreme Molly B. Denham crush.


But we’re not just talking Intensity of Crush or Hotness Factor here… the analogy also works lyrically.

Brooklyn is a real-life juxtaposition of the “Chemical World” and the “Parklife.” It’s “Blue Jeans,” “Popscene,” and “Coffee and TV.” “Boy[s] With [] Thorn[s] In [Their] Side[s]” “Oscillate Wildly” under “Light[s] That Never Go[] Out,” and both “Mis-Shapes” and “Common People” elevate “Acrylic Afternoons” into veritable “Glory Days.”

WoooHOOOOO!

What’s more, for the very first time in my life, I actually get to live where I want to live.

And it’s pretty amazing.

See, I’ve always had this thing where I never quite managed to be where I wanted to be. It was either because I had no power over the situation and was just plain stuck, or because there was some sort of long-term strategy involved, where I had an opportunity and had to be in a certain place in order to get myself to the next place.

Those places, and my reasons for not wanting to be in them, include:

Centerville: I was trapped in Central PA for the first eighteen years of my life. It was very similar to living in the 1960s Prisoner television program… albeit with less comprehensible accents.

Philadelphia: College. When my parents couldn’t afford my New York City dream school, Philadelphia became the second best option. Poor Philly… it’s a perpetual New York substitute.

Paris, France: Study abroad. I actually did want to be here… um, at least for the first month.

Lille, France: Teaching. It was cool, but I really just wanted to be across the Channel in London, immersing myself in the Cool Britannia party that was the BritPop music scene. Unfortunately, my salary wasn’t enough to cover such immersion, much less the transportation costs.

Philadelphia: I was literally two weeks away from following my friends to Los Angeles when I got a job offer at a Philadelphia record label. Knowing that it would give me amazing experience, I took it and moved back to Philadelphia instead. While I love Philadelphia, I really just wanted to be frolicking with my friends in the sunshine, like something out of Beach Blanket Bingo!. Which is how I imagine everyone’s life in California to be.

Bryn Mawr: Prior to starting graduate school, I moved in with my boyfriend. Unfortunately, he lived in the Philadelphia suburbs. While I love Philadelphia, I do not love the Philadelphia suburbs. For a variety of reasons.

When we first talked about moving to New York, my boyfriend and I discussed places to live. I was all about the Brooklyn, but, due to late night transportation logistics, it would ultimately hinge on where he went to graduate school.

I had all these fears of, again, finding myself in the frustrated throes of having to live somewhere I did not want to live—the sterile Upper West side, or, even worse, the boring isolation of Northern Jersey.

Good luck getting a cab in either.

But, for once, it actually worked out… and I got my Brooklyn.

So, now, after thirty-eight years of wishing, hoping, trying, and long-term strategizing, I finally get to live in the one place in the world where, at this moment, I want most to be.

A place where I am surrounded by young, cool, vibrant, multicultural people, gorgeous architecture—both vintage and modern, amazing restaurants, hip cafés, fascinating under-the-radar history, and, most importantly, a kick-ass, Non-Stop Erotic Cabaret of a music scene.

Oh, yeah… and there’s even a beach.

Brooklyn is so freaking hot.