Breakfast Cereal Monsters Make Amazing Costumes!

Friend of FOG!, The Mighty Kurt of Kurt's Shirts sent along a pic of his homemade Halloween costume. He's Frankenberry.



Words escape me how awesome this is!



Happy Halloween!

Marvel Comics' THRILLER

With brilliant narration by Stan "The Man" Lee!

FOG! VIDEO EXCLUSIVE Interview with ROBERT ENGLUND!

How's this for a Halloween treat? A FORCES OF GEEK exclusive interview with Robert Englund on the heals of celebrating his latest web series Fear Clinic.

In this complete and utter geek-out, we chat about the new FearNet show and take a glimpse into the reality of it continuing after the initial five. By the way, you can check into the Fear Clinic for free at FearNet.com. Robert also has a new book out that any true fan of the Nightmare on Elm Street movies should own. It's called Hollywood Monster and it's in stores now.

What's great about this master of horror is he truly is a genre geek at heart. He knows his stuff, has a wicked sense of humor and is completely fascinating to talk shop with.

From a noisier than we would have liked location, Robert gives some insight on...

• One of the strangest Freddy costumes he's ever encountered.

• His certain fondness for Mad Scientists and Margot Kidder in Sisters.

• What horror property he's currently geeking out over.

and the big question (no, the OTHER big question)...

• Would he welcome a role in the new V series?!

Diora Baird's Deleted STAR TREK Scene!!!

I've had a crush on Diora Baird for a few years and was disappointed not to have seen her in the Star Trek reimagining. I had heard that she had been cast as an Orion Starfleet Officer, but when I saw the film, the only Orion officer I saw was the equally stunning Rachel Nichols.

Until now.



After the jump, check out a featurette from the upcoming DVD/Blu-Ray release scheduled for November 17th!

WATCH - GET READY FOR A GLOOMERS HALLOWEEN!

THE GLOOMERS is an animated series that follows the trials and tribulations of the hysterically funny heirs to misfortune, the Gloomer family. Crashing the classic Hanna-Barbera animation of the Jetsons and Flintstones with a post-modern comedy slant, the show is both a reflection and an antidote to our modern day “gloomy” outlook. We all have bad days, sometimes even the kind of day that plunges your entire life into chaos. Now, imagine if every day was like that...

Enter The Gloomers.

I really like the idea of embracing the limited animation style of Hanna Barbera and producing new work for the web. The Gloomers is pretty damned charming and I suggest you check out all of the other cartoons HERE!

Viva la Gloomer!

WATCH - IT'S THE GREAT PUMPKIN, CHARLIE BROWN

The most beloved Halloween special and the Peanuts' second best special (the first being A Charlie Brown Christmas) should be experienced once a year by everyone. And you can do it here, after the jump.

GKS and The TEN OF TERROR!!!

You might have heard FOG! columnist Ryan Ferrier chatting with Scott and Oliver on the podcast Fanboy Radio talking about his site, Giant Killer Squid.

This past month, Ryan has worked tirelessly putting together his Halloween tribute, Ten of Terror.

If you are a fan of Halloween Horror DO NOT MISS GKS's 10 part series. It concluded today and makes some fine reading over a meal of brains and blood.

Just don't drip any entrails on the keyboard. Read it HERE!

One More Chance (review)

One of the most tragic aspects of Michael Jackson's life was that it took his sudden death to remind the public that he was a true, honest to goodness artist.

While not as harsh a taskmaster as his idol James Brown, Michael Jackson was nonetheless a perfectionist who demanded the best of himself and his fellow performers.

By all accounts, he had his own vault filled with unreleased songs and footage no one else was ever meant too see.



So yeah, he probably wouldn't have wanted to see his rehearsal footage cobbled together into the "concert" documentary This Is It. And to be honest, I'm sort of upset with myself for seeing it. Not that it's a bad film--no, it's not a bad film by any stretch. It's just impossible to see the movie--which makes just the most oblique, fleeting references to his death--without the spectre of his death and the surrounding drama looming large. And for those of you who want further glimpses into his inner turmoil and the demons that may or may not have led to his passing, you're going to be very disappointed.


Personally, I had to see it. It was not a matter of if I'd catch it in theaters, but when the best time would be. I recommend a matinee showing or a weekday evening, because presales went through the roof, accounting for 80% of all online sales in their first 24 hours of availability.

It's an emotional experience, from a fan's perspective. I nearly lost it as the words "...for the fans" appeared onscreen, followed by the first shot of the King of Pop in all his glory as he launched into Wanna Be Starting Something. It was clear from the beginning that these were rehearsals we were watching. Michael was holding back a bit, saving his energy for the marathon of performances he expected were to be his comeback.

Of course, these shows never happened, and this is the most maddening aspect of the film. The production was so elaborate, with intricate choreography and filmed restagings of his classic videos in 3-D making extensive use of greenscreen and CGI, that it may very well have trumped anything Kanye or Lady Gaga could have dreamed onto the stage.

Director and longtime Jackson collaborator Kenny Ortega, who was also directing the This Is It concerts for Michael, does a pretty good job of cutting together footage culled from hundreds of hours of behind the scenes video. With the exception of the dancer auditions in the beginning of the film, it is arranged less like a chronological presentation of events and more like a concert. Between elaborate musical numbers, Michael advises on the fine details of the production, firmly yet lovingly chides his crew when they slip up, and impresses everyone with his vision.


This is the movie's greatest strength, its portrayal of Jackson at his most comfortable, as a performer of the highest caliber. He's present at every step, on stage, at auditions, during choreography, and even while filming the 3-D segments. Interspersed with these clips are testimonials from his dancers, musicians, choreographers, designers, and other crew members who are mesmerized by his professionalism and total control.

Ultimately, this is where Michael Jackson's greatest influence lies. I read an open letter Amanda Palmer wrote to Robert Smith the other day, and the Dresden Doll gushes to the Cure frontman about how his music was deep and true, and affected her on a most intimate level. Michael Jackson's artistry and genius are hard to dispute, but his biggest impact, in my opinion, was from his craft. Jackson's renowned work ethic and creativity inspired generations of pop stars to follow his path. No one in this movie is very shy about admitting that Michael is one of, if not the sole reason they got into show business.

I still wonder the ultimate point of releasing This Is It.

I question why I even volunteered to support AEG Live in their continued exploitation of Michael Jackson's memory. In the end, the only reason I could think of was that I needed closure. I've no doubt that the film and corresponding album are but the first posthumous releases we'll see, and I'm sure I'll buy them. But this was the last big Michael Jackson event, a last chance to see Michael doing what he did best--working his ass off for our entertainment. That was his life, and I'm happy to have one more chance to celebrate it.

I guess I just can't stop loving him.

WATCH - HALLOWEEN WITH THE NEW ADDAMS FAMILY

Reuniting on NBC Sunday October 30, 1977, most of the original cast of the series The Addams Family starred in Halloween With The New Addams Family. Starring John Astin, Jackie Coogan, Ted Cassidy, Lisa Loring, Ken Weatherwax, Felix Silla and Guest-Star Carolyn Jones (who had limited screen time on the account of illness), the special was originally intended as a potential pilot for a relaunch of the series. Also appearing in the event were Jane Rose (replacing the ill Blossom Rock) and the new Addams children, Jennifer Surprenant as Wednesday Friday Addams (Junior) and Ken Marquis as Pugsley Addams (Junior).

Check out this spooky oddity after the jump.

OLIVIA MUNN Wants To Put "Sweet Ass In Your Face"

The theological proof that there very well might be a God exists in the mere existence of Olivia Munn. The co-host of G4's Attack of The Show is a true geek goddess with a sense of humor and personality to boot.

Check out her appearance on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon after the jump where she plans her "one hit wonder" and banters with Jimmy and Artie Lange.

Friday Video-A-Go-Go!

The Box Tops' "Soul Deep"

TOYGAMING: When Collecting Is Not Enough

After reading Elizabeth's tale of backyard conflict gone wrong, I started digging back into an old love of mine, toygaming. Toygaming, simply put, is like wargaming but with toys. Instead of painstakingly assembled and painted miniature soldiers, players use toys. Sometimes one sort of toy, so there can be some amount of consistency and "realism", sometimes a variety of toys with armies made up of Transformers and Masters of the Universe figures doing battle against Dunnies and a hodge-podge of urban vinyl toys.



LITTLE WARS


Probably the first codified wargame, Little Wars was H.G. Wells' rules set for toy soldiers, mostly depicted from the Napoleonic era. While almost no one plays with the original pieces, the rules are still in use with many Playmobil enthusiasts.


The game is written in an old style, thus there is a lack of bullet points to help a reader understand the game. Instead, the book reads just as if Wells himself was explaining the rules to you. The first version of the game is very simple and straightforward, using only three types of units: Infantry, Cavalry and Artillery. The basic mechanic of rifle and cannon fire is the use of the toy cannons which at the time could shoot a metal pellet. Since these spring-loaded toy cannons where common, the game was balanced and fair for the most part, rewarding not only strategic thinking but hand-eye coordination.

Wells also included an addendum which made Little Wars a true "kriegspeiel" (read: wargame) allowing for more realistic rifle fire, combat engineers and realistic supply rules, all of which were optional. I'm sure with a little tweaking players can use just about any small action figure in their armies.


BRIKWARS


Somewhere along the line, someone was going to make up a wargame using Lego. In fact, several someones did just that but the king of minifig violence is Mike Rayhawk's Brikwars. Actually the six edition of the original game, Brikwars has served as the favored platform for wargamers that like to make up their own rules when they feel like it.

Brikwars uses a point system of unit purchase, much like most modern wargames. Players amass armies of knights, spacemen and whatever else they have in their collection as well as whatever vehicles and structures they can build, all with a system to calculate its value on the battlefield. Of course, players often change or ignore the rules, such is the gonzo nature of Brikwars. More often, a player's primary goal is to cause the maximum amount of chaos and turmoil on the battlefield, either to his opponent or to himself. Thus is the tradition of "gratuitous everything" that is Brikwars.


TOYMALLET 40c

Touting itself as the anti-Warhammer 40,000 (In the grim darkness of your wallet, you can't afford to play), Toymallet's rules are probably more simple than the previous two games (and that's saying a lot). While few battle reports have been posted, the popularity of this game is sure to increase as toy collectors get wind of this new excuse to play with their toys. In fact, my roommate and I plan to do battle using his Dunnies and my Stikfas.

MAD MAX Returns Without Mel

There have been rumors for several years regarding the return of George Miller's hero who was last seen in 1985's Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome both with and without the participation of original star Mel Gibson.

Among the names mentioned over the years rumored to be part of the film include Heath Ledger, Sam Worthington and Jeremy Renner. Now, The Hollywood Reporter has revealed that Tom Hardy will star as Max Rockatansky and Charlize Theron will portray the female lead in the sequel, titled Fury Road.

Hardy is best known for his work in the 2008 films Bronson and RocknRolla.

The film is expected to shoot next summer in Australia.


After the jump, check out the film that started it all!

THOR Finds It's Odin!

Sir Anthony Hopkins will portray the proud papa of Thor and his nemesis, Loki.

Check out the animated incarnation of Odin after the jump.

Source

Have Yourself a Sexy Halloween...Apparently

Browsing my local Party City for sporks, I came across what can only be described as the most whorish Halloween costume I had ever seen. Sold under the seemingly innocuous name of “Sweetheart Bat” the costume featured a lovely thigh-high skirt (cut just shy of the buttocks), a pair of black pleather fingerless gloves, sexy see-through wings that protrude from each shoulder, Red glitter devil horns, and of course hooker boots.

Why is this whorish you might ask?

It was geared toward a four-year-old.

That’s right: 4 years old. We are now dressing up pre-schoolers in stripper shoes and sending them out into neighborhoods asking strangers for candy.

I don’t see how that could end badly.



Going through my own Halloween costume memories, not one ever included a push-up bra. Sure there were a few that were controversial; the ghost costume made out of a bed sheet that looked way too similar to a KKK robe, the time I showed up to a Junior High Dance as a used tampon drenched in corn syrup and red food coloring and got kicked out, or the unfortunate forced costume for work that included a lycra bodysuit and the head of TMNT Michelangelo which ended with a severe case of camel toe and several children crying.

Perhaps I am a bit old-fashioned in my costume choices but when I was growing up the whole point of dressing up was to either gross out or freak out the neighbors. Weeks were lost to designing the perfect costume; make-up styles were created and then consulted on with friends, there were trial runs, tantrums and finally, the night of, we would unveil creations that were so awesome that siblings would weep in appreciation. This was what made Halloween so special. Creating a costume that rocked the universe and then stuffing our face with candy until we vomited.

Not dressing up like a “sexy” wolf with thigh-high boots and an STD.

As a lonely geek who spent far too much time in my bedroom watching horror movies and reading comic books, Halloween was the one night that I could suspend realty and embrace the cosmic darkness inside of myself. Sure, it might have been easier to simply go to the costume shop and pick up the “sexy” Bo Peep outfit, but I would’ve lost my soul in the process as well as my imagination. Being able to create something from scratch led to some of the funniest costumes of my youth, like the time I dressed up as Ronald Regan and apologized to my neighbors for Panama, or the Halloween I went as myself, but cleaner (I was covered in glycerin so I looked all shiny). The costumes I wore were and are a badge of honor. They started conversations, made people laugh, and once got me laid simply because the guy thought I was super cool for dressing up like Tom Selleck (which brings up a whole other line of questions).

Halloween was also the only time in the year when my brother and I would suspend plans for killing each other and instead focus on making him look as gross as possible. One year he would be a burn victim complete with eye ball protrusions, puss-filled sores and latex skin falling from his face and the next year he would be covered in Vaseline and blue-white make-up so he looked like he was drowned. We created back stories for every costume so that he was always the poor unassuming victim and I was the cold-blooded murder. One year, while drenching him in my very own blood recipe, my mom overheard me tell my brother, “I wouldn’t slash your throat Bud, I would kill you by stabbing you in the face.” Years later she would later tell me that it was the first time she questioned our sanity. (Imagine if she ever found out about the knife fights we had while she was at work.) But I have a feeling that her fear that one of us would become a serial killer would be far overshadowed if she had ever walked in on us dressing up like “Sexy” garbage collectors.

Which brings me back to the skanky toddler costume.

There is never a good reason to Ho-up a kid in the name of Halloween. Frankly, it’s far more disturbing for me to see a Kindergartener in a mesh half-shirt, than it would be to see a six year old in a Jason mask carrying a machete covered in brain matter.

Of course a “Sexy” Jason Voorhees would be kind of awesome.

Return of the Drinking-Age Comics

Once again we take a little trip down Memory Lane with some comics that are old enough to serve in the military and drink. Three of the comics below are from my various field trips to flea markets where great comics can be found for practically pennies. In this economy, you gotta love cheap entertainment.

The first mini-review is from a series I’ve actually managed to keep a hold of since I bought them way back when. While I’m not usually a hoarder of comics, the Badger series always held a special place in my black heart.

Normally when I run mini-reviews I go for five, but it’s been a busy week at Casa de Teehan so this week we’re just doing four--but they’re four good ‘uns.

Let’s roll.


The Badger, #13
July 1986
“Musical Dimensions”
by Mike Baron
First Comics

The Badger was always a favorite of mine and I always thought it a shame that First Comics folded in 1991 as I thought they had a lot of potential and something both entertainingly different and interesting to offer the comic book world. The series features Norbert Sykes, a Vietnam vet with a strong case of multiple-personality-disorder (the psychology of the series isn’t what one could call spot-on) whose dominant personality is that of masked vigilante The Badger.

Badger is a world-class martial artist and has the apparent ability to talk with animals. His grasp on reality is a little off, but that doesn’t seem to stop him from being fairly successful stomping bad guys and teaching manners to the ill-behaved of Madison, Wisconsin. When not getting in trouble via his masked identity, Badger works for Ham--a displaced 5th century Druid who uses his skills to amass financial gain and mystical power.



In this issue, Ham’s former sponsor, Lord Weterlackus, is out for blood, but Ham uses the Badger’s personality shifts to distract the demon lord and escape into another dimension. Meanwhile, as Norbert’s Badger personality recedes, out comes Pierre--a serial killer personality. Dairy, the on-staff psychiatrist/secretary brings the Badger personality back to the forefront and Norbert--as the Badger--goes on to defeat Lord Weterlackus by beating him with a stick and feeding him to vermin.

While all this is happening, Ham finds himself traveling dangerous dimensions until he finally ends up falling into the salad of one Judah Maccabee in the pan-dimensional city of Cynosure. Judah, a furry pro-wrestler who usually appears in the Nexus comic (also from First), befriended Badger in a previous issue, so Ham and Judah strike up a bargain in which Judah will help Ham return to the 20th century if Ham will then send Judah back to the 26th. The pair travel back in time and land in Badger’s lunch. Judah and Badger reunite and go on a beer run before Ham fulfills his part of the bargain and sends Judah back into the future.

Sadly, Ham’s aim is a bit off.

This issue showed a lot of the humor typical of writer Mike Baron’s Badger series. The artwork by Bill Reinhold is nice and clean, and there are a lot of great little details in the background that really add to the overall book.

This issue is backed up by an installment in the Zoomtown series, also by Baron.


Secret Origins, #25
April 1988
Legion of Super-Heroes: “The Dreams of Youth” by Paul Levitz, Rick Stasi, and Dick Giordano
The Atom by Roy Thomas, Mike Clark, and Bob Downs
DC Comics

This post-Crisis series run of Secret Origins was created with the purpose of presenting the new official origins for DC characters whose backgrounds might not have been very clear given the big reboot of the entire DC comics line in 1985.

In this doubled-up issue, we’re first given the origins of the infamous Legion of Super-Heroes. I was a big fan of the comic back in the late 70s and early 80s and I knew their origins pretty well (at least once a year we got the origin story somewhere). Not too much has changed. The three original members are still Saturn Girl, Lightning Lad, and Cosmic Boy and are sponsored by wealthy tycoon RJ Brande.

This new Origins issue uses Brande’s sponsorship and creation of the Legion like a hammer in taking care of the little problem that Legion membership required that an individual’s power had to be utterly unique from their race.


Both Cosmic Boy and Saturn Girl would not be eligible for membership under this rule, normally, but Brande decides that ability, heroism and character is more than enough to justify some memberships. And for those who remember RJ Brande’s big secret from pre-Crisis days, and his mysterious relationship with one of the later Legionnaires, Chameleon Boy--you get a nod. That little detail hasn’t been changed by the Crisis.

In the Atom’s story, we’re not getting Ray Palmer--but the All-Star Squadron version of the Atom, Al Pratt. Al is a short, sad-sack of a guy and his story is like something out of one of those Charles Atlas cartoons that often showed up in these older comics. Al Pratt is pushed around and shoved around. He ends up befriending a washed up old boxer named Joe Morgan who trains Al to become a heavily muscled fighting machine. After a lot of hard work and grunting under Morgan’s expert tutelage, Al Pratt becomes a guy no one pushed around. Unfortunately, Al has a bit of pent-up anger from his years as a shrimp, but Morgan helps direct this rage into other directions, and when it comes down to saving a girl from gangsters--the Atom is born.

Both stories were interesting just to see how they handled the DC reboot, but both stories also suffer from a lot of convenient plotting. Storywise, I wonder how much better they would have worked had each origin story had a whole issue’s length to have more believable plot and character developments. Still, I’d recommend the issue at least for the Atom storyline. You don’t see much coverage of those Golden Age characters much, so this was a pretty nice read.


Mister Miracle, #7
August 1989
“Just Another Day”
by JM DeMatteis and Len Wein
DC Comics
Ah... Blue and Gold! That is to say, this issue features a visit from Mister Miracle’s fellow Justice Leaguers Blue Beetle and Booster Gold. Beetle and Booster were DC’s answer to Laurel and Hardy. They’re well-meaning goofballs (who happen to be superheroes) who decide to drop in, with pizza and beer, on Mr. Miracle in his civilian identity of Scott Free.

Unfortunately, nothing involving Blue and Gold is ever simple, easy or peaceful. When Beetle’s bug flies over Free’s hometown of Baily, it is spotted by both Free’s wife, Big Barda, and former JLA nemesis Professor Ivo...well, several Professor Ivos who happen to be sharing a room at a local motel. The sight of the bug sends both Barda and the Ivos into a frenzy. Booster and Beetle visit Free, who is less than happy to see them disrupting his quiet civilian life, and all hell breaks loose as one of the Ivos appear at Free’s fix-it shop.



The predictable brawl ensues as Free and Barda hang back to protect their secret identities and leave Blue and Gold to handle the murderous Ivo. After it’s revealed that Ivo isn’t the original Professor Ivo, but an android, Blue and Gold pull of the gloves and quickly dispatch the android--just in time for the rest of the Ivo androids to descend on the fix-it shop. This time, it doesn’t look like Barda and Scott Free will be able to avoid their alter egos of Big Barda and Mister Miracle anymore.

The Mister Miracle series had a lot of humor--unsurprising given DeMatteis’s similar use of humor in the concurrent run of Justice League of America. There’s a very amusing scene in which Beetle has been thrown by the android Ivo and, because the crowd’s attention is elsewhere, Barda catches him with one hand and tosses him back into the fray, commenting, “Nice tush.”

It’s a light-hearted issue which serves to lull us into a false sense of security before the storyline gets darker a few months later as Free and Barda end up battling the forces of Darkseid.


The Saga of the Swamp Thing, #7
November 1982
“I Have Seen the Splintered Timbers of a Hundred Shattered Hulls”
by Marty Pasko
DC

Following the Swamp Thing movie, DC decided to revive the Swamp Thing in comic book form in 1982. It would be a Alan Moore would take over the writing and turn Swamp Thing into the DC classic we all know and love, so the storylines aren’t as sophisticated yet, but one sees the seeds of the future Swamp Thing in there somewhere. But they’re just seeds--not even sprouted yet. Swamp Thing still thinks he’s Alec Holland and has no inkling as to his true heritage nor the scope of his powers. Meeting Constatine is still a long way off.

In this issue, Swamp Thing is aboard a boat owned by the Sunderland Corporation to rescue Elizabeth Tremayne from not only a tentacled virus beast and a bunch of people turned into monsters. It turns out that the tentacle beast is a conglomeration of aliens that crashed into the ocean and was then infected by toxic waste (in the form of an experimental herpes virus) courtesy of the Sunderland Corporation.


Now grown larger, and infecting other humans it comes across, it drags ships down to dismantle them to build a vessel in which it can go home. Unfortunately, the threat the alien beast poses to other ships means it has to be stopped, so Alex, Elizabeth, and Dennis Barclay create a pesticide which defeats the monster and the virus-infected humans aboard the ship.

It was an okay issue. Knowing Swamp Thing’s future makes seeing this version of the Swamp Thing a little interesting. The comic is backed up by a Phantom Stranger story in which a woman is haunted by a series of ghost soldiers with a special connection to her.


And that’s it for now. Look for future reviews of classic comics in future columns. And hey--if you got a longbox in your attic you want to get rid of--lemme know. I might even give you a fin.

Cheers!


For information on how to get your book, comic, movie, whatever reviewed on Falling Off the Shelf, or to send hate mail, feel free to contact me at john (at) johnteehan (dot) com.

WATCH - THE PAUL LYNDE HALLOWEEN SPECIAL

On October 29, 1976 if you tuned into ABC you would have bear witness to one of the most unusual Halloween specials of all time, The Paul Lynde Halloween Special starring character actor Paul Lynde.

Joining him in this oddity were guest stars Margaret Hamilton as The Wicked Witch of the West from The Wizard of Oz, Billie Hayes as Witchiepoo from H.R. Pufnstuf, Tim Conway, Roz Kelly aka Pinky Tuscadero from Happy Days, Florence Henderson, KISS, Billy Barty, Betty White and Donny Osmond & Marie Osmond.

Experience it for yourself after the jump.

New Trailer Unleashed For James Cameron's AVATAR

Looks much better than the first one, but I'm still not entirely feeling it.

Thoughts?

BLACK DYNAMITE - ORIGINAL MOTION PICTURE SCORE

My fondness for the released-everywhere-except-the-state-of-Connecticut film Black Dynamite isn't new.

I've already written about Buckshot and Sean Price's "The Feeling" which samples the original score. The downside of that is that it's not part of the soundtrack or the score.

The Black Dynamite soundtrack is cool...but it's composed of library music. Nothing original. To quote John Slade about theme music from I'm Gonna Git You Sucka, "Every hero has got to have some."

And if the blueprint of blaxpoitation classics like Super Fly and Shaft is going to be followed, Black Dynamite is going to need some killer theme music. I mean even Jack Spade had Boogie Down Productions provide his anthem.

Well to erase any doubts of the strength of Black Dynamite's music, Adrian Younge has put together an amazing original score. A multi-instrumentalist, Younge plays all the instruments on the score, including guitar, bass, electric piano, organ, saxophone and more. Using vintage equipment and the 70s recording techniques, Younge's homage stands up there with Curtis Mayfield and Isaac Hayes' sonically lush backdrops. It makes one think that technology and all its benefits have muted some of the soul in soul music.

Lyrically. the words in these songs merely serve as a Greek chorus. The titles of the songs describe the scenes. (I'm only imagining this because again it's not playing in Connecticut.) They're simplistic, yet tongue-in-cheek at the same time. With lyrics like "Use kung-fu when he wants to/Has sex when he please" from "Black Dynamite Theme," you can't take them too seriously and have to admire the humor. " "Shot Me In The Heart" has several beautiful layers. Starting off with a sustained organ note before sliding to a layered melange of sound with backup singers, tremolo guitar, funky drum breaks, wah guitar. While this sounds like a everything-but-kitchen-sink of sounds but it's not. The layering is so perfect. It makes you wonder why pop music songs aren't this layered. I guess because it's not dumbed down enough? "Chicago Wind" has a spectacular break in it with harpsichord, funky bassline that some hip-hop producer is going to jump all over like Roman Polanski at a junior high pool party.

The neo-vintage (is that even a word?) sounds are reminiscent of the Daptone catalog or a Quentin Tarantino soundtrack. The fact that Younge created this entire album on his own is a testament to the one-producer album. I think if more artists were in tune with the craft may be the state of pop music wouldn't be what it is.

My advice for you: Go buy the album. Go see the movie...even if you take a train...to New York City...like me.

Bonus:

WATCH - FAT ALBERT HALLOWEEN SPECIAL

Growing up, every holiday had several nights of television specials, often extending the celebration into a one week event. One of my favorite Halloween specials was the Fat Albert's Halloween Special, which debuted on Monday, October 24, 1977.

Some of you might have warm memories of this show and others might have never seen it before, but please enjoy one of the best Halloween specials of all-time after the jump.

The Wizard of Gore remake: 5 reasons why you shouldn't watch it

Recently I watched the horrible to high heaven remake of The Wizard of Gore.

Not even a film with the likes of Crispin Glover, Brad Dourif, Jeffrey Combs and the nakedness of the Suicide Girls, could save this disaster. It just felt like it was made in a serious way, yet most of the actors weren't told that on the set, so you're getting truly hammy performances, which actually save it from being a film I'd burn alive at the stake.

I can't pinpoint one reason as to why this film stinks.


I'll list a top 5 reasons as to why I'd rather watch paint be poured down my urethra then see it again.

1. Wasting the likes of Jeffrey Combs in a speechless role for about 90% of the film until a big 'surprise' of a climax that makes you go, "Did I miss something important? Like a plot?"

2. Calling Brad Dourif on the set of Deadwood and piling up a ton of cash for him to play such a boring foul mouthed character just to progress the story and have his name on the box art.

3. Making me bored of naked punk girls. But only for about 5 seconds. Then I realized that instead of being bored by them, I was just bored by the movie. So Suicide Girls, I still love you.

4. Having Kip Pardue as your star. God, he just blows. I know he took the role pretty seriously, because he was the only one trying to come up with some character nuances, like gasping into a paper bag when excited and wearing hip clothing to show that he's a reporter really trying to get to the bottom of the shenanigans throughout the film. Just tried to hard. As opposed to Bijou Philips, who I tend to love (and was also in Choke) but she was as wooden as a board in this film, showcasing pain as if she was in remedial acting class. Shame on you Bijou.

5. And finally, this movie sucked so much, it made me think of the original film in a whole new light. I now think it's a better film than the remake (and yes, I do own the film. I had a Herschell Gordon Lewis kick a few years back.)

Just try to stay away if you can. It will become a film that we do a Rifftrax for down the line, only because it's almost irredeemable. But only almost.

Greetings and salutations...

Fashion and Faces RANT – 10/29/09

Hello friends.

I’ve got a lot on my mind, so I’m gonna make this quick.

I’m super stressed at work because my school is sucking harder than 250 Hoovers, and just getting worse by the minute. And I’ve got Parent/Teacher conferences tomorrow night from 6 pm to 8:30 pm, after arriving at 8 in the morning, a VERY long day.

But I digress.

For the past few months the fashion world has been letting me down.


The first bummer is Project Runway. It TOTALLY sucks this season, and not just because it’s on Lifetime Channel For Women. The contestants are boring and not that talented, despite what Tim Gunn said in the first episode. No obnoxious flaming queens, no obnoxious argumentative queens, no villainous bitchy older women, no annoying, whiny girls who wear ugly feather headbands - BORING! And I’m supposed to be impressed when Kim Kardashian shows up as a guest judge? Oh puhleeeeze. Just because that girl’s got a big ass, doesn’t mean that she knows fashion. My ass is bigger than hers and I know more about fashion than she ever will because I've been reading Vogue since 1970!

The second thing that is making my head spin is the latest European (British) import retail store called Top Shop. It opened here in SOHO a few months ago, and with it a big whoop-dee-doo of an opening with KATE MOSS, who is apparently a “clothing designer” now with an exclusive line being sold there. I was mildly interested to see what they had, but not enough to run down there the first week. My instinct told me that I wouldn’t like it, and that it wouldn’t be as useful to me as H&M. I went down there last Saturday, and I was right – it sucks!

The first problem? All of the rubes in there elbow to elbow just grabbing things off the rack, no matter what they looked like. I wandered around, looking at everything and it looked as though EVERY item of clothing had sequins, beads, fur, feathers, or tinsel on it - most items had all of that shit on it at the same time. It looked like Rachel Zoe barfed all over the store.



I wander to the plain, brightly colored t-shirts, which look cool, and they’re on sale for eight dollars! As I get closer to them, I notice some Flashdance inspired seams, and the neck holes are cut on the bias. The sizes? Double zero, zero, two, four, six, and eight. What? I find an employee and ask her what the largest size of the clothing is and she says “Uh, a size twelve!” Really SIZE TWELVE? I guess I said that way too loud because I scared a skinny Kate/Rachel hybrid looking girl in the corner trying on $75 sequined leggings. She froze like a deer in headlights, probably thinking I insulted her by shouting SIZE TWELVE! while looking in her direction.

The second problem is that everything is cheaply made and super expensive. I spotted a cool necklace of an oversized capital letter 'C' that I wanted to buy. It was made of a flimsy piece of plastic, and was spray painted gold, and cost $44! Yeesh! The “Kate Moss Christmas 09 Collection” launches tomorrow, so check out the website HERE and see what I mean.

You see, the good thing about H&M and Forever 21 is that the stuff is cheap we won’t get mad when it disintegrates in two months because the trend will be over by that time anyway, which is fine when you’re paying $20 for a blouse. But if you're an Agnostic or Atheist, do not shop at Forever 21 because it's founder, a super religious Born Again Christian named Do-Won Chang.

The Third problem is the latest Paris Fashion Week.

Marc Jacobs’ Spring 2010 collection for Louis Vuitton. People freaked out and cried racism because of the models looking like this…HUGE AFRO'S? REALLY?




And then French Vogue does this shit…BLACKFACE? REALLY?



And finally, this…



She was so cute once upon a time. WTF?


Love,
Crystal

FOG! Chats With MONK's Tony Shalhoub and Bitty Schram

This past week, Bitty Schram returned to Monk, reprising her role as Sharona before the series ends later this fall.

When Sharona returns to San Francisco to handle legal issues related to an uncle's death, Monk suspects foul play and finds himself torn between the differing styles of Sharona and Natalie.

FOG! got the opportunity to participate in a conference call with Bitty and Monk himself, Tony Shalhoub.


Q: It’s reported that to prepare for your role as Adrian Monk on the USA series, Monk, you did a substantial amount of research with a Los Angeles psychotherapist specializing in obsessive-compulsive disorder. What was that experience like? Did you have to study someone with OCD?

Tony Shalhoub: Well, the psychologist that I spoke with and had sessions with just gave me a lot of information and a lot of reading material. And that combined with some videos that I was able to find, videos of people who suffer from OCD, I was able to kind of build the character off of that information. It was really kind of standard research that you would do for prepping for any role, really.

Q: What can you tell us about the upcoming series finale?

TS: I’m really not at liberty to give away too much of that information. And after eight years on Monk, it’s had a devastating effect on my memory, so even if wanted to, I probably couldn’t tell you because I really don’t remember how it goes.

Q: What was it like for you and Bitty to work together again?

TS: Well, that was fantastic. It was great. It felt like we just picked up right where we left off and we didn’t miss a beat. And the only difficulty for me was that I look a lot older and Bitty looks exactly the same.

Bitty Schram: Well I’m not sure about … You’re being too kind.

Q: Was the chemistry that Adrian and Sharona always had easy to revive, Bitty?

BS: Oh, yes, absolutely. It was honestly like I never left. I swear, it’s exactly what he said. It’s a bizarre phenomenon, but it’s true. I mean I heard, I don’t know why that Seinfeld thing on Curb Your Enthusiasm came out and I heard stuff like a remark that Jason Alexander said. Like they never, like riding a bike, and it’s true. It’s like you never leave. I don’t know, it’s like it’s . . .

TS: Bitty and I both looked at each other while we were doing the first scene, which is the scene – the first day was the scene where she returns. And we just looked at each other and laughed because it just felt like no time at all had passed.

BS: It’s very true. I mean honestly it felt like I never left. Even with the crew, with everyone. It was bizarre, but in a good way. You know, I mean it’s good. It never leaves you, never.

Q: This is really for both of you. Playing the two characters over the years – and especially you, Tony. I know you said you studied the OCD and everything. What did you come away with, what lesson did you come away with about people dealing with mental health issues?

TS: Well, I mean I think the biggest thing is that sometimes this is true I think for people who suffer from OCD but also just for everyone I think in our culture. Sometimes our neuroses or out idiosyncrasies or what we view as our shortcomings or our problems can actually be used as our strengths. And if you can figure out a way to turn your liabilities into assets, with Adrian Monk of course it was his obsessive attention to detail that drove him and others crazy, but also allowed him to be really good at his job. So that’s what I came away with.

FOG!: Tony, is it difficult putting away the character that you’ve played now for so long and Bitty, you’ve left and come back. And is it the same experience?

TS: Do you want me to go first? I really just finished shooting yesterday, so I don’t really feel that it’s left me yet. I don’t know how long that is going to take, so I think I’d have to answer that question in a few weeks.

BS: As for me, I think it’s similar to the question I answered before. It never leaves, even though I came back for a brief moment. It was as if I never left and it’s honestly it’s not – what was the question again? I’m so sorry, what was . . . I knew the question but I kind of, I forgot it as I was answering it.

FOG!: Was it difficult to put the character away?

BS: To put it away, is that what you said? I get it. And does it come back. No, because it kind of like it just comes back. I can’t explain it, but it just does. No, it wasn’t and it wasn’t hard . . .

TS: I think it has a lot to do with the writing, the way these writers work, the language, the rhythm, the music of the dialog. It sort of, kind of infects you and lives inside of you and it’s just, it really does become a part of you.

FOG!: Would either of you want to revisit these characters again?

BS: You know, I think I capped out on it. You know what I’m saying? Like if I had a reason, I would be more than happy, you know, but I think I’ve explored all I could explore with that character. But I would, if I had to go back to it, I love the character and I love the chemistry and I absolutely love working with Tony because he knows how much I respect his work and I would have no problem going back to it if I have to. But I think I’ve explored what I had to explore with it.

TS: I don’t know. I never say never, really. I don’t know how likely it is that we’ll have the chance to go back to these characters. I honestly can’t say as it’s really not up to me. But I never say never.

Q: Bitty, did you give much thought to how the character of Sharona would react to the character of Natalie as you were going in?

BS: Well, no. I didn’t really know what the script, what they had planned until I got the script. I got it like a week before, then I thought about it once I got the script because I didn’t really know what they wrote for me to come back and stuff like that and what they had the relationship thing. But once I read the script and then I can make choices on how to play that and how to play my relationship with Natalie. But I didn’t know until I had more information.

Q: Did you watch the show much after you left?

BS: No, I honestly I didn’t but you know, that had nothing to do with me leaving because when I was on it, I didn’t really watch it because it’s hard for me to watch. Like it’s just hard for me to watch anything. I honestly have never really even watched some other things I’ve done. I don’t like doing that to be honest. So it has nothing to do with – it’s just my neuroses.

Q: Tony, when you look at Monk now, what feelings do you have for the character as compared to day one?

TS: Well day one I was, I had no idea what I was doing and I didn’t really have an understanding of where the writers and where I was going to take this character, how it was going to evolve. But now, of course, having done 124 episodes, I was really, really gratified to see that we made this character really multifaceted and full of contradictions and I think pretty well rounded. So, and as an actor, that’s something that you really always look for.

Q: Tony, is it easier or more difficult going into a season knowing it’s the last?

TS: It’s both. It sort of alternates back and forth. On the one hand, it’s easier because you’re just, you understand that there’s going to be resolution and there’s going to be a finish line, an end point. And then on the other hand, it just becomes such a family, you know, and you know you’re going to miss these people, these relationships and this sort of collective creative energy.

Q: Are you satisfied with the way the series is ending and what’s next for both of you?

BS: I don’t know how the series is ending with the last two, but from my experience, because I don’t know the story lines. But for me being back on the show, I was really happy to do it and I thought it ended really, really well. I couldn’t, I just thought it ended the way it should have and I was very, very pleased with it and very pleased to be working with everyone again on that show, I really was.

TS: Do you want to talk about what you’re going to do next?

BS: Oh, thank you Tony. Next, well I wrote something. I’m in the process of – it’s a long story. I don’t know how to say it. I wrote a pilot myself, and we’re in the middle of getting that off the ground. So it’s like a series type thing.

TS: Well, as far as the finale of the series, I’m very, very happy with how it’s come out and in fact the last, not just the last two episodes, but the last five or six where there’s a lot of things revealed. I just think it’s some of the strongest stuff we’ve done in all this time. So yes, the answer is I’m very, very, very happy. It was incredibly satisfying for me and I know I’m guessing that it will be for the viewers. And as far as my, what’s down the road for me, I guess I’ll be stalking Bitty until she gives me a part in her pilot I guess.

Q: I think some of the more memorable episodes of the series have always been being kind of a bit of his background. Will we get a chance to see Monk's family return or perhaps even his mother?

TS: Not really in the last – really, Trudy resurfaces in a big way. I mean, you know the memory of Trudy and that’s kind of the way the writers have mapped it out.

Q: Bitty, regarding Sharona’s return. Is it going to be the same dynamic, or is it going to be a little bit different?

BS: Well, I think what me and Tony or Sharona and Adrian – I think it is the same dynamic. I just think there’s a little Monk, like with Natalie added in there, I think there’s, I mean I think it just, it may change the dynamic a little, but I think we still have the same relationship. But I’m very competitive with her. Like for vying for – because you know, I’ve always loved him no matter what. And I think that’s the core of making it work. You know what I’m saying? Of all the humor and making the depth that we try to get within the humor. But I think my relationship with Natalie is a competitive one vying for his attention.

TS: Loyalty, really, vying for Monk’s loyalty I think.

BS:Yes, or like who’s more special.

TS: His favorite.

BS: Yes, exactly. Like his favorite. Because I think we both care about him. I think we’re both coming from the same place, just a different approach. And so I think with her, with Natalie thrown into the mix, I think it’s – our relationship is still the same, but I think it’s just an added element to it. I thought it worked well, and I liked when we did fight a little. I liked that, the little cat fight.

TS: Yes. They’re fun to love. That was a nice conflict and where they’ve – but they do come together, the two characters do come together, Natalie and Sharona. Their common ground is that they have enormous affection for him, but they’re also driven crazy by him. That’s another thing that they share. Their approaches to taking care of him are what create the conflict.

BS: And wanting to be special to him.

Q: What has been your favorite episode so far and why?

BS: Oh God, that’s always a tough one. I never know how to answer that. I liked a lot of them, I like the one with John Turturro. I always liked that one, with Tony and his brother.

TS: Three pies.

BS: I love that one. The three pies, yes. Because I love the dynamic with Tony and John Turturro in that. I love the brother, so that’s my favorite because of that.

TS: Yes, that’s one of my favorites, too, I’d have to say. Although I have to – all told, though, I think down the road if you were to ask me this question in a month or two, I’d have to say the last. The finale is going to become my favorite because it’s been such an enormous – as I said, it’s a two-parter and it’s a big, big story and so much is really up there. I think that’s going to be a good one.

Q: Bitty, what were the similarities between you and Sharona and what were the differences?

BS: I guess the similarities would be, well she kind of is feisty, you know. I guess I could get that way. I guess I could get that way and she, I think she could have a tough exterior, but she’s kind of mush inside. And I think that’s more me, I do. I mean I do, like I just think her strength or whatever just comes from survival mechanisms. It’s not really like what she is if she didn’t have to be. You know what I’m saying? And I think the differences – I think I have more culture than her. I’m a lot smarter than she is. She doesn’t go to New York and see plays, you know what I’m saying? She’s just stuck in Jersey, you know. Even though I am from Jersey. Not to put Jersey down, I like Jersey, but I think I’m more cultured.

Q: What’s your favorite Monk/Sharona moment?

BS: That’s a hard one. Because everything’s a – you do so much and you work so many long hours, it become a blur, right? It’s hard to remember those things.

TS: I think I would have to go back to season two and we did an episode called “Mr. Monk Goes to the Circus.” Was it the circus? Yes. And Bitty, Sharona in that episode revealed that she had a fear of elephants.

BS: I remember that.

TS: And there was this really great runner where Monk, after she’s taken care of him and been sensitive to his problems and his issues and he has no, he’s so out of touch. Monk is so out of touch. He doesn’t really give her any, he just gives her no sympathy at all when he finds out that she’s got this fear of elephants. As if why could you be afraid of anything so ridiculous. I think there was a lot of good back and forth in that episode, in those moments.

Q: So, aside from Bitty, tell me who was your favorite eighth season guest star?

TS: Aside from Bitty, I can’t think of anybody who even comes close. We had Daniel Stern in the UFO episode, and he was terrific to work with. I had never worked with him before, and he was delightful and really, really helped to ground an episode that could have gone a little too goofy. So he was really important to that show.

Q: When you both saw the script and idea for the show for the first time, did you ever think that eight seasons later this is where it would be and this is how huge it would be?

TS: No. The answer for me is you just never know in TV these days. Sometimes you can do something that you feel is really good and worthwhile and it just for some reason it doesn’t translate or it’s the wrong, it’s ahead of its time or behind its time or whatever and the television landscape is very, very tricky and unstable. So you, when you try to be a realist about it, you just, you have to remain just cautiously optimistic at best.

BS:I would never have thought this. I just thought it was going to be a TV – remember, Tony, a TV movie. It was supposed to just be that.

TS: Exactly. There was talk of, because it was a two-hour pilot there was some talk of it just being a one-off or there was some talk that maybe they would do one of these kinds of TV movies a year or we just, we didn’t really know if it was going to turn into a series.

BS: Yes, we really had no idea.

Q: What was one of your favorite experiences working on Monk?

TS: I would have to say last season we had Gena Rowlands on as a guest star, and that was an enormous honor for me to be able to not just work with her but get to know her over the course of that episode. And because when I was a student studying theatre and acting and she was an idol of mine and has remained. So that was, I felt after I did that episode that I could just basically retire. And she was also nominated for an Emmy for our show. So that was one of the highlights for me. There were many, though there are many highlights, but that was huge for me.

Q: Bitty, What would you like to say to everyone who’s a fan and supporter of Sharona?

BS: Oh, I would first of all like to thank them so much for their support and for watching and actually liking – it makes me feel like I do my job, so I thank them for that. And I wouldn’t be here without them, so it’s all about the audience that we’re trying to – it’s all about the audience because without them we’re nothing, right? So I’m just very thankful for their support.

Q: Tony, do you have a sense that you made an impact in the OCD community?

TS: You know, based on mail that we’ve received from people who suffer from this disorder and from various other people like doctors and people in academia, impact is kind of a big word. But I definitely think that it’s, they seem to have embraced this character and maybe in some ways Monk has kind of become a poster boy for those who suffer. But it’s, the feedback has all been so positive. I hope that it’s had some effect in maybe destigmatizing the disorder and allowing people to see it as something not as just a mental, debilitating mental illness. But this character suffers but still can do his job well and still contributes and is sort of a contributing member to society. And I hope that people can see other sufferers in the same way.

Q: What has Monk taught you on a personal level?

TS: I guess it’s made me a little bit more – I tend to take my time with examining certain things or I feel like it’s made me somewhat more observant and less quick to jump to conclusions or to make snap judgments. It’s kind of slowed down my processes in that way, just allowing me to kind of pore over something a little for longer periods. And I think that seems to have been, be of some value.

Q: Tony, what will you miss most about Monk?

TS: I miss the people. It’s always about the people -- the crew and the production team and the directors and of course the cast. It’s just, we’ve just all gotten very close and love spending time together. And that’s kind of what gets you out of bed really early in the morning and putting up with these long, long days. You just do it because of the people and for the people and it’s been a great way to keep all these people working.

Pinnacle and Larry Gelbart

RIP Larry Gelbart (1928-2009)

I had the amazing pleasure of being able to work with Larry Gelbart this summer on his last project before he died last month at the age of 81. I was asked by a casting director that cast me in Without A Trace if I would participate in a reading of Larry’s new television pilot at the Writer’s Guild.

He said it would be a day of rehearsal and a day of performance with an audience of writers from the guild as part of their new series called: Seasoned Readings.




The other actors involved would be Cary Elwes (Saw), James Frain (The Tudors), Evan Handler (Sex and the City), David Paymer (Drag Me to Hell), Carl Reiner (Ocean’s Thirteen), and Bradley Whitford (The West Wing). I thought it sounded fun and I have had a crush on Bradley Whitford since Adventures in Babysitting, so I agreed.

These readings come up rarely but, sure enough, I had to turn down doing a reading at Paula Wagner’s new production company that happened to come up for the same day. Hollywood has a way of working out that way. It is some kind of glitch in the cosmic system. All I have to do is plan a vacation to get a job that keeps me in Los Angeles. Or even if I book a dentist appointment in advance, I will for sure have an audition at that time six months later. Or just dare to get two jobs in a week, and they will absolutely overlap and conflict. So after I begrudgingly cancelled on Tom Cruise’s producing partner, I was really hoping Larry was as great as everyone said he was.

Larry is best known for creating the hit TV show MASH in 1972, but he also co-wrote the film Tootsie and penned the musical A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum. He was a part of an original Rat Pack which included Neil Simon, Mel Brooks, Woody Allen, and Carl Reiner. They all worked and played together throughout their prolific careers. Carl Reiner was there eating from the craft services table when I arrived at the WGA for the first day of rehearsal. He was married to his wife for 64 years and she just died in 2008.

Guess who she was?

Estelle Lebost.

Otherwise known as that old lady in When Harry Met Sally who said: “I’ll have what she’s having.” Small, random world, huh?

Anyway, Carl and I introduced ourselves over a bagel and got the script handed to us. It was called Pinnacle and it was a first episode of a what was to be his new series. Then Bradley Whitford arrived and I maintained my composure rather well, I thought. As everyone else started to arrive, we did a meet and greet with the cast and Larry.

He was there that day with Pat, his wife of 53 years. They teased and finished each other’s sentences with ease and humor. We then got started reading Pinnacle which is a dark comedy surrounding the making of a movie in pre-world war 11 nazi Germany. Larry would stop often to answer questions or elaborate on the back story.

I was floored by his attention to detail. It was obvious he loved actors and took such joy in hearing his words come alive. His face acted as a conductor throughout the reading with microcosmic shifts in the creases of his forehead displaying the emotional and humorous beats of the piece. I began to understand why he was called “the Mozart of comedy writers.” Larry played all the parts and rode the wave of the performance with the actors. It was really moving and entertaining to watch his investment in the delivery of his creation.

On the day of the performance, we had a read through during the day, a catered dinner break, and then show time. As we all waited in the green room for the audience to file in, there was the usual backstage chatting and nerves. Bradley, Carl, James, and I were all telling stories and going over lines for the hour before the show. It was fun to be in that pre-show nervous/excited place with such legends milling about.

Finally, we all were sent out to the packed house filled with writers, directors, and press. The reading went well and the audience asked a lot of questions and Larry seemed to be right where he belonged: making people laugh and think. I will always count seeing that happen up close and personal as a real highlight of my Hollywood journey.

Paula Wagner will just have to wait.