Forces of Geek: we like pop culture: 9/1/10

Thursday, September 30, 2010

I Met Tony Curtis - RANT 9/30/10

Hey kids,

I’m writing this RANT with a heavy heart because Tony Curtis died last night.

I had the pleasure of meeting him in 1987 when I lived in Hollywood and worked at the Tower Records’ flagship store on Sunset Boulevard.

I was walking back to work from a Thai restaurant with a bunch of friends when I saw him walking toward us with a bunch of agents and other movie people.

This is what he looked like when I met him. Crazy toupee!

"Life ain't nothin but bitches and money..."

Ice Cube, "Gangsta Gangsta

Apparently, Ice Cube's classic quote still rings true in terms of commercial hip-hop.

Lil Wayne seems to be an apostle to the Gospel According to O'Shea. His latest EP I Am Not A Human Being is basically about that: sex, guns, drugs and money. (For the most part, Cube has covered these topics before Are We There Yet?) Not to mention the usual shitty metaphors. It's bad because I'm reviewing this with my window up because it's super humid. Now my neighbors are going to think I have bad taste in music.

If you ever find yourself chatting up a librarian and you are looking for a conversation topic that will really clinch it, here's what you should say:

"So, banned books are the worst. Am I right?!?"

You will be in, as easy as that.

Librarians go absolutely bananas over banned books - we even have a whole week devoted to them. And (coincidence!) this week just happens to be Banned Books Week, which is also timely since I was just saying in my last post that I was overdue for a long chat about Judy Blume.

Sorry for the delay, but we should be caught up by next week!

Like a well coiffed mullet. Business in the front, party in the back...

It's done: Lone Star is finished.

Fox canceled the con-man drama after two episodes. The premier drew just 4 million viewers, and then sank to 3.2 million this past Monday.

I guess launching a complex new show without any sexy headliners on a Monday crowded with Dancing with the Stars, CBS sitcoms and Blair Underwood-helmed The Event was a tough sell on network TV.

I first discovered Leslie in the pages of BUST magazine where they were doing a spread on her and her mobile museum of Gem Sweaters:

Which I found both hilarious and cool (I mean, an entire museum dedicated to grandma sweaters...awesome), so naturally when I found out that she also fronted a band called Leslie and the Ly's where she dons gold pants, gem sweaters, blue eyeshadow and big hair, I knew that I had found my chica-soulmate.

Her rappy-pop-techno music is catchy and fun, she is geeky to a fault, and she is far more talented than all the sugary, corporate controlled crap being produced today by people who have less talent than what is contained in one strand of her pubes.

Yes, that's how much I adore this woman.

Darn, darn, darn! NBC is bringing back The Munsters.

The Munsters? Yes, The Munsters. On NBC, which had such success remaking can't-miss Knight Rider and Bionic Woman a few years back.

But perhaps this one will work. Pushing Daisies creator Bryan Fuller is working on a modern-day reboot of the monster-mash classic, Entertainment Weekly reports. NBC has ordered a pilot, and the show is being described as "Modern Family meets True Blood."

Whetting your appetite yet? Well, the pot gets sweeter.

You have hurt it so much

When I was little I used to believe that all my toys became sentient the moment I went to sleep and would spend the remainder of night plotting my death (I blame the movie Where the Toys Come From for this nightmare) because I was so horrible to them during the day.

I guess I have never really gotten over that particular fear since I make sure that all my action figures are kept behind glass and never allowed out in the open...hmmm, perhaps it might be time for some therapy after-all.

Anyway, I can completely connect to the following video about an NES system who is forgotten while its owner plays with a new console much to its displeasure.

Oh, and the NES uses the "F" word a lot so that is kinda fun.

Enjoy.

Okay, so yesterday we lost both comedian Greg Giraldo AND Tony Curtis in one swoop. Which means that Hollywood must be in lock-down right now, counting down the hours until the mythical third victim of death is claimed (I kind of imagine the Hollywood Death monster looking like the creature out of The Frighteners personally).

And, to make things even more creepy, I just happened to watch the Roseanne episode in which Mr. Curtis makes an appearance as a dance instructor yesterday and had the thought, "I wonder if he's still alive?" before I hit the stop button.

Is it possible that I killed him through the power of my mind? Like somehow my passing thought had alerted Death of Curtis' mortality whereby Death said to itself, "OMG, I totally forgot to smote him last week...I should really give Elizabeth a couple of extra months of life for reminding me."

I guess I will never know.

As an actor Mr. Curtis graced us with his presence in over 140 movies as well as television shows in his later years and produced Scream Queen legend Jamie Lee Curtis with hottie Janet Leigh.

Not a bad life if I do say so myself.

Videos of his work after the break

I have to admit that I was never into The Flintstones as a kid (my tastes ran more toward the sci-fi/fantasy genre like Thundercats, Dungeons & Dragons and She-Ra) but, as I grew into my teens I slowly came around to enjoying the show and began to appreciate it on a different level.

That level being found within the confines of a hollowed out apple bong and suburban-strength weed.

I guess you could say that in my life, I associate The Flintstones with lazy afternoons on the couch with like-minded friends, sparking up and laughing at The Great Gazoo (even though he is widly considered the point where The Flintstones "jumped the shark"), which really isn't that bad of a memory when you think about it.

So happy 50th Fred & Wilma, Betty & Barney, and all the rest of the Bedrock crew.

(after the break are a few videos...now where is my lighter?)

CAGMRC?: France Gets Their Very Own Gundam!

Husk (Hardcover)
Written by Frederic L’Homme and Stephane Louis
Art by Arnaud Boudoiron
Marvel/Soleil
$19.99

Imported by Marvel Comics, “Husk” is a sci-fi oddity courtesy of the fine European comic book creators at “Soleil.” Written with filmic beats by Frederic L’Homme and Stephane Louis (to all you bilinguals and Francophones, forgive my word document for not attaching proper accents) this new hardcover illustrates a futuristic France in which human-operated mechs are the key component to Parisian law enforcement.

According to news reports, comedian Greg Giraldo passed away today at the age of 44 after an accidental overdose of prescription drugs that occurred last Saturday.

He was surrounded by his family.

The comedian was best known for his appearances in Comedy Central roasts and as a judge on Last Comic Standing.

After the break are a few examples of his brilliance.

This week, Comedy Central will release “South Park: A Little Box of Butters" on DVD. This Collector’s Edition DVD set gives viewers and fans alike a peek inside the confused and magical world of Leopold “Butters” Stotch and includes 13 widescreen Butters-centric episodes remastered in 5.1 Surround Sound. This deluxe, two-disc set also features an exclusive "It's Butters! A Trivia Game" interactive experience where fans can test their Butters knowledge against their friends.

This collectible is filled to the brim with treasures from Butters' past as well as a reminder of his misadventures (a pimp chain from "Butters' Bottom Bitch" episode, Inspector Butters Badge from "Butters Very Own Episode" episode, as well as a new manuscript of the lost chapter from "The Poop

To celebrate all the greatness that is this set, the crew over at South Park Studios are hosting a sweepstakes in which fans can enter to win a little bit of “Butters-related” prizing each week, leading up to a $5000 “Pimp Cash” grand prize.

More details on both the dvd and the contest after the jump!

It is only a matter of time before this happens

What I am about to share with you is one of those things that will likely scar you and lead to mental instability. I apologize for it, but I, alone, can not be the only person to have to carry around this trauma. I must make other people suffer as well.

For what you are about to see involves visuals that are straight out of your darkest nightmares.

The only thing I can tell you is that I believe that the robot being forced to expel child after child is one of those teaching bots used to train student doctors and nurses in the art of delivering children, but the horrible bleating goat-like cries of pain issuing from the torso (there is no head or legs to this thing) is so gut-wrenchingly real, you will think you just walked into a taping of The Jersey Shore, sober with no avenue of escape (yes, it really is that painful).

After watching the following video, I have decided to seal up my nether region and sport the Barbie look so that there is no chance that I will ever have to experience what this dismembered animatronic vagina has to go through.

Video after the break and definitely NSFW

After appearing in a guest shot on the television series, Angel, Summer Glau caught the eye of producer Joss Whedon who cast her in his television series, Firefly.

Despite Firefly's short run, Glau reprised her role as River Tam in the film Serenity and starred as the cyborg Cameron in the series Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles and reunited with Whedon, guest starring on his series, Dollhouse.

Before Glau returns to television as a lead on the upcoming NBC series The Cape and in the film, The Knights of Badassdom, she voiced Superman's cousin, Kara Zor-El aka Supergirl in the all-new DC Universe Animated film, Superman/Batman: Apocalypse which was released yesterday on DVD and Blu-Ray

Okay, so this thick slab of eggs and cheese on dough is only available at the Dayton, Ohio franchise (America's only 24-hour Domino's) but I think that college towns across this great land of ours will soon be demanding that their local Doms stay open all-night just so hungover elder teens can consume slice after slice of easy-to-regurgitate pizza covered in greasy larva-infested egg product.

I’m about to publish my novel Tobacco-Stained Mountain Goat later this year, and have spent the past few weeks ironing out typos and tweaking the text in collusion with my peerless editor Kristopher Young at Another Sky Press in the US.

For one of the above reasons (I can’t remember which one) the other week I reviewed this section in which our protagonist, Floyd Maquina, has just made whoopee with his femme fatale Nina Netochka Nezvanova Canyon (aka Laurel).

The music they’re listening to jumped out at me this time round:

A couple of hours later we were lying on the floor together beside two empty champagne bottles, wrapped in a doona. Her arm was under my head as she used her other hand to stroke my hair, the lights were dimmed, and I was feeling like sleep was about to whack me over the head.

We were listening to The George Sanders Touch: Songs for the Lovely Lady, which—according to the album’s liner notes—delivered with it “a worldly touch: a gentle caress one moment; a vice-like grip the next.” The whole apartment seemed to be shimmering like jelly in the light from the lamp and the TV. “That’s odd,” I said under my breath.

Starting in 2012, George Lucas will be ruining your precious childhood memories once again by re-releasing his space opera opus in 3-fucking-D in order to make even more ungodly sums of money, and finally complete his transformation into the Spectre of Death.

It seems somehow fitting that The Phantom Menace will be making it's $14 DOLLARS A TICKET debut the year the Mayans predicted that mankind will cease to exist, and personally, I welcome it. I have never felt that I was properly emotionally raped when I first watched this film in the theater, so now that its suckiness will be in 3-D, it should finally kill me.

Me So ready to annoy you again

Thank you Mr. Lucas...thank you.

“I have witnessed the tremendous energy of the masses. On this foundation it is possible to accomplish any task whatsoever."

– Mao Zedong

I just got back from China.

They made me emperor, as you can clearly see in the photo.

Actually I was only emperor of the Forbidden City gift shop for all of four minutes, but it's easy to see how power can go to one's head.

I'm still fighting crazy jetlag, so I'll keep this brief:

Chinese people do not drive well.

3 HITS & A MISS: NBC's Thurs. Night Comedy Block

It’s that special time of year! That time of year when families across the country put aside petty squabbles and come together around the warming glow of the television set.

And what would the fall lineup be without NBC’s Thursday night comedy block, “Please Watch TV!” (Formally “Must Watch TV!”)?

I’m talking COMMUNITY, 30 ROCK, THE OFFICE, and OUTSOURCED. (Yes, that was broadcast order. Take that, TV Guide!)

Tim Daly, the fan’s choice as the quintessential voice of the Man of Steel from his days portraying the title character for the landmark Superman: The Animated Series, once again supplies those All-American tones in Superman/Batman: Apocalypse. The ninth entry in the popular, ongoing series of DC Universe Animated Original PG-13 Movies arrives today, Tuesday, September 28, from Warner Home Video.

Daly was the voice behind the world’s ultimate super hero for 52 episodes of Superman: The Animated Series and several animated movies, all the while starring in one primetime television series after another – from eight seasons on Wings to memorable roles on HBO’s The Sopranos and From The Earth To The Moon to his current ABC hit, Private Practice. The Emmy nominated actor made his feature film debut in Barry Levinson’s 1982 classic Diner.

Daly joins forces with Batman voice Kevin Conway to lead a Superman/Batman: Apocalypse cast that boasts two-time Emmy Award winner Andre Braugher (Men of a Certain Age) as the evil lord Darkseid, sci-fi heroine Summer Glau (Serenity/Firefly; Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles), and multi-Emmy winner Ed Asner (Up) as Granny Goodness. Based on the DC Comics series/graphic novel “Superman/Batman: Supergirl” by Jeph Loeb, Michael Turner & Peter Steigerwald, Superman/Batman: Apocalypse is produced by animation guru Bruce Timm and directed by Lauren Montgomery (Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths) from a script by Academy Award-nominated screenwriter Tab Murphy (Gorillas in the Mist).

Daly joined the festivities at the World Premiere of Superman/Batman: Apocalypse in Los Angeles on September 21 at The Paley Center for Media. The Metropolis, er, New York City-born actor offered his thoughts on a number of subjects – ranging from the Superman/Batman dynamic and the importance of a great villain to his love of farming – in a playful interview.

And here’s what he had to say …

I think you'd have to be a bit crazy to do what these folks do, and even nuttier to actually seek out the danger that they encounter.

HISTORY adds a boost of adrenaline to your Sunday nights with its brand new series, IRT: Deadliest Roads at 9/8c. Set in the highest and most dangerous mountain ranges in the world, the Himalayas, three seasoned truckers will be forced to drive through the deadliest and most unpredictable routes that the road has to offer. Follow drivers Lisa Kelly, Rick Yemm and Alex Debogorski as they deliver goods to small villages along untouched highways. Visit the official IRT: Deadliest Roads website for photos, videos and episode guides and become a fan on Facebook!

To celebrate the premiere, we're giving away a Prize Pack! Details after the jump!

This past Sunday, Showtime aired the fourth season premiere to their hit series Dexter.

So, what did you miss?

Dexter has found his wife Rita murdered by the Trinity Killer in their bathtub, his son, Harrison, a mirror of his own past, sitting in a pool of her blood. Quinn stirs up trouble at the station when he notes that Rita’s murder, which is being pinned on the Trinity Killer, doesn’t fit his normal murder profile. Things get even more heated when Quinn suggests to LaGuerta that they look at the husband: Dexter Morgan. Dexter breaks the news to Rita’s children, Astor and Cody, and Astor immediately blames Dexter for not protecting their mother, adding to his self-inflicted guilt. With Rita’s blood on his hands, Astor’s words echo in Dexter’s head. Would they be better off without him? Should he disappear?

Also, the DEXTER app is available for download! Dexterize your iPhone or iPod Touch with the official mobile companion to the show.

Key features:

Episodes, soundtracks, and podcasts from iTunes
Behind-the-scenes videos and interviews
Twitter and Facebook updates
Know the Code social trivia game

The DEXTER extras aren’t exclusive to iPhone and iPod Touch: the Know the Code social trivia game is available on Facebook as well. Test your DEXTER-smarts with quizzes on the show, forensic facts, and known serial killers. Challenge your friends or go it alone— see if you can make the cut! Challenge up to three of your friends HERE!

For more, check out Dexter on Facebook, Twitter and at the official series site!

And watch the season premiere after the jump courtesy of our friends at Showtime!

"Interactive Fiction" has been on a lot of people's minds lately.

Neal Stephenson has recently launched an ambitious novel/app project called The Mongoliad that is explicitly interactive in many ways, from social media interaction to possible side stories being generated by participants.

The broader subject was examined in the Guardian's Games Blog last week, where new technology and ideas about how to make novels more engaging were assessed.

And author Paul Jessup responded to the topic of the Guardian piece with a history lesson rant.

The latter two point out that Interactive Fiction (which good ol' Wikipedia, the interactive encyclopedia, says is abbreviated "IF") is nothing new: from Choose Your Own Adventure books to Tom Disch's groundbreaking Amnesia, IF has a deep history. IF as found on the Internet is mostly about text-based computer games, but endeavors such as Stephenson's and IDEO's go beyond this in an attempt to make fiction itself more interactive. New technology and modes of connectivity make interactivity more possible, perhaps allowing for IF to be more fully merged with traditional fiction.

But, does anything really innovative get added to a story via IF?

It was decided that after being a fan of the works of Edward Gorey for more than thirty years, it was high time that The Mystery Box Field Expedition Team would finally visit his home, which is affectionately called Elephant House.

If you're one of the hordes of people who have said that David Simon is a genius, now you've got proof. Simon, the man behind The Wire, is among the 23 recipients of a MacArthur "genius" grant.

Chicago's John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation awards the no-strings-attached $500,000 stipends, which are paid over five years.

"With the nuance and scope of novels, Simon's recent series have explored the constraints that poverty, corruption and broken social systems place on the lives of a compelling cast of characters, each vividly realized with complicated motives, frailties, and strengths," the foundation said in summarizing Simon's work.

Archaia Comics upcoming release, Return of the Dapper Men, looks like it might very well be one of the most interesting graphic novels to come out in some time.

I hate being an adult. I hate everything involved with being legally responsible for every aspect of my life and, I especially hate that I'm required to contribute to society in a way that will support the family I am supposed to have now that I'm thirty-six.

Which is why I feel a special kinship with the guy who built a huge R2-D2 THAT HE CAN HIDE IN!

Sure, (from the video after the break) it looks like he is doing all of this for his kids and shrill wife, but you know he spent hours in his garage dreaming of escaping inside his droid to a galaxy far, far, away (where his family will never find him).

This guy is...

Quick, what do the Pointer Sisters' 1985 hit song Neutron Dance and the 1982 Disney flick Tron have in common?

Virtually nothing, except for the fact that the word "Tron" makes up part of the word "Neutron"....(kinda like how "bag" follows the word "douche" in a lot of my posts).

But that seemingly small coincidence didn't stop Disneyland from booking the Pointer Sisters for their Main Street Electric Parade while tightly dressed dancers in Tron costumes pirouetted around them inappropriately.

And guess what? It was all caught on video tape for your viewing pleasure.

Happy Monday people!

I wouldn't just call these faux-opening credits for AMC's The Walking Dead "fan-made." Not when they're by Daniel Kanemoto, an animator who's done work for the Travel Channel, USA Network, and Nickelodeon in addition to his own short films.

Kanemoto used Charlie Adlard and Tony Moore's art from Robert Kirkman's comic book, animating it to the Eels' "Fresh Blood."

Check it out below the jump, and you'll be thinking, "When will AMC just buy this?"

What's Spartacus: Blood and Sand to do with no Spartacus?

Starz executives have yet to decide what to do in the wake of Andy Whitfield's cancer relapse, but the network has acknowledged its two likely options: replace Whitfield or end the series.

"The two main options are to close up shop or recast," Spartacus executive producer Steven S. DeKnight tells Entertainment Weekly. "I want to talk to Andy and find out how he feels about the options."

Don't expect an answer anytime soon, however.

Oh, such innocence...

As a consumer whore I subscribe to a ton of magazines because I enjoy the tactile experience of the glossy pages sliding through my trembling fingers as I read about my various obsessions. And, occasionally, these magazines will throw in a giveaway with a monthly issue like a DVD, a CD, or even a fold out poster of Kirk Cameron (okay, so I used to have a Tiger Beat subscription in the 80s, bite me).

It was like a little thank you from the magazine for being there for them and in return I was able to feel special for a couple of minutes.

However, none of these gifts ever made me feel as "special" as the giveaway gift that the people who read Shonengahosha’s Young Comic magazine must have felt the moment the "Bukkake Ruler" fell out of the plastic bag the magazine came in.

If you are unfamiliar with the term "Bukkake" lets just say that it involves taking the practice of giving/getting a "Pearl Necklace" to an entirely new level (and if you don't know what a "Pearl Necklace" is then you need to get on the Internet more and quit bothering me).

Every so often, you go digging through those long boxes of old comics, books you haven’t dusted off in years for no other reasons than you had forgotten about them or lost track of time, issues you knew were enjoyable at some point in your life but had never gotten around to enjoy them at a later moment in time.

That “every so often” for me was this past weekend.

The wife and daughter were out shopping. Medical reasons kept me homebound due to the excessive heat of swampy DC. And there was only so much Top Chef and America’s Next Top Model marathons on the telly I could tolerate in a single afternoon.

I wasn’t quite in the mood for a huge arc and nowadays, one-and-dones are harder to find than a six pack of Heineken in Utah, so I had to dig.

And so I pulled out Uncanny X-Men #303, “Going Through the Motions,” by Scott Lobdell and Richard Bennett. OK, so 1993 is not really Silver Age material, but it sure had been a long time since I thumbed through the Blue/Gold Team era of the X-Books.

Does anyone else actually remember when the cable network TLC actually called itself "The Learning Channel"?

I miss those days.

You'd fall asleep with the TV on and wake up thinking you'd made a great discovery.

"Hey, honey, I just had this great idea this morning—a breathalyzer device attached to your steering wheel! You'd have to breathe into it to prove you were sober before your car would start!"

"Um, I'm pretty sure they already use that in like 20 counties. Have you been falling asleep in front of the tube again?"

I'd like to take a moment to consider the dog, Canis lupus familiaris, the historical companion to mankind, homo sapien.

The dog, or a species quite like it, can be traced to mankind's earliest records.

In The Flintstones, Fred's best friend, not counting next-door neighbor Barney Rubble, is Dino, a dinosaur tentatively classed as Canis saurian.

It is assumed that Dino is the evolutionary ancestor to all modern dogs, his most famous contemporary descendent being Scooby-Doo.

Katy Perry's breasts going to THE SIMPSONS

Parents' outcry may have gotten Katy Perry's breasts canned from Sesame Street, but it only created a national conversation about her cleavage -- so much so that a former adviser to President Clinton had to interview a puppet about whether she'd get another play date on the program.

Now Perry is set to go from Elmo to Moe with a guest spot on The Simpsons. Perry will play Moe's girlfriend as the Springfield crew sing "The 39 Days of Christmas," Entertainment Weekly reports.

In case you missed it, Perry laughed off the boob-haha this weekend on the season premiere of Saturday Night Live. She appeared on a "Bronx Beat" sketch as a teenage girl getting some undue attention reading to kids at the library, and something tells me Sesame Street may have been better off with the showgirl outfit.

Is it funny? Not really, other than Amy Poehler's quip, "The kids come for the boobs, they stay for the books, everybody wins." Perry bounces her way onto the screen at about 3:12 into this NSFW-ish video after the jump.

After months of rumors and denials, it's been confirmed that Max Weinberg will not return alongside Conan O'Brien as bandleader on his new TBS show, Conan, premiering Nov. 8.

Guitarist Jimmy Vivino tells St. Louis' The Riverfront Times that he'll assume the bandleader gig permanently, and James Wentworth will take over the drums. Not much of a surprise, given that Vivino and Wentworth did the same whenever Weinberg was touring with Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band, and they most recently were in action on O'Brien's nationwide tour.

Vivino breaks it down after the jump.

Scientists at the National Rehabilitation Center for Persons with Disabilities, the University of Tokyo and the National Institute of Advanced Industrial Science and Technology have created a robot that can help people afflicted with dementia by systematically nagging them until they have no choice but to give in and do what the robot asks.

Basically, the robots are similar to your mother.

The bots are programmed to recognize the patient's face and voice and will bark out reminders based upon a schedule set by doctors or family members in charge of the welfare of their loved one. This allows the assholes the ability to leave their sick family member in the clutches of a machine who will probably become sentient and kill them while maintaining that they do, indeed, love them.

Sesame Street has always been cutting edge and I feel blessed that as a youngster I was allowed to be a part of one of television's first successful integrations of a happy gay couple into the lives of children (Bert and Ernie).

That being said, today's parents are a bit more conservative when it comes to their kids and so naturally they were horrified to witness Katy Perry's breasts all up in the faces of their innocent offspring.

Now, having watched the video about five hundred times, I don't see what the fuss is about (other than the fact that Perry's song Hot-n-Cold is kinda grating on the ears) and yes, while her dress does accentuate her meat pillows (especially when she runs) I have seen far worse things in children's television.

For example this:

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Thursday, September 30, 2010

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Monday, September 27, 2010