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Ted Williams -From Homeless to Hollywood to Rehab RANT!


Hello friends!

Well, well, well – it’s a new year and award season has begun.  The last time I RANTED, I brought you the nutty Paula Abdul and her new show, Live To Dance! I hope you’ve watched it at least once. I can’t watch it anymore.

I promised to write about the first award show of the season, The People’s Choice Awards, but I didn’t.

That’s because I watched the first ten minutes and turned it off.

Why?

Because “The People” are stupid.

That’s why.

So, I thought that all I had to do was wait for The Golden Globes this Sunday night (and hooray, no school on Monday so I can stay up late and not be mad, because the Globes always runs long because everyone is drinking), so it’s a win for me!

But wouldn’t you know it, the Pop Culture Train Wreck Gods have smiled on me (and you) this past week because they delivered TED WILLIAMS to us!

Who is Ted Williams?

You must have been living under a rock for the past 5 days.


Here he is…

Now do you know him? He’s the homeless bum who is now a famous bum!

What I’m really impressed with is how much Entertainment Tonight is all over this guy like a cheap suit. They picked up on this story and RAN with it faster than Usain Bolt!

But first, CBS brought him to NYC to see his mother for the first time IN TWENTY YEARS!

He was on The Today Show!

He got a job as the announcer for the Cleveland Cavaliers! He got a job with Kraft Foods!

They snapped him up and ran him ragged, taking him to Hollywood to…

  1. The Entertainment Tonight studios (to meet with famous voice over people, JOIN THE UNION, and play his first commercial for Kraft)
  2. The Walk Of Fame
  3. The Hollywood sign
  4. Meet Kobe Bryant
  5. To the DENTIST!
  6. Meet Dr. Phil…DOCTOR PHIL?

Yea. That’s right. Dr. Phil.

Where he had a reunion with some of his kids (cue tears and anger) that didn’t turn out very well. Dr. Phil asked him point blank if he was sober, and Ted said he was…which was a lie.

He got into a fight with his daughter and was ARRESTED!

And ET was there too.

So after about 6 days of fame, Ted is now headed to Rehab…

And there you have it!

I wonder if Dr. Drew is licking his chops in the hopes that he winds up back in Los Angeles in his care…

If that guy is on the red carpet at The Globes I will pass out.

See you late Sunday night!

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