Forces of Geek: we like pop culture: 6/1/11

Thursday, June 30, 2011

HORRIBLE BOSSES Helmer Talks His WARGAMES Reboot

Last week MGM announced that director Seth Gordon was attached to direct its remake of WARGAMES. Gordon recently directed HORRIBLE BOSSES which sees release next week and is also known for helming the documentary THE KING OF KONG: A FISTFUL OF QUARTERS.

While promoting HORRIBLE BOSSES, Gordon sat down with Hero Complex to discuss his take on WARGAMES:

“A lot of things have changed technologically and geopolitically since the original. It’s ripe for an update. It’s a more plausible chain of events now than it was back then. The source of an international political threat is no longer a nameless faceless country with a different political system. The world has changed so much that that kind of threat could come from a number of places.”

I'm not going to lie to you, this thing freaks me out.

I can't even describe it properly other than you wear what looks like a flack jacket and hug a robotic torso which then sends the sensation of hugging you back to your flack jacket.

Basically, you are hugging yourself via electronics.

And, of course, that's not sad at all right?

The video of this thing is even more frightening than the actual product, but there's no doubt in my mind that someone, somewhere, has modified the flack jacket into a pair of underwear so that when they hug the robot torso they are getting a hug back in their balls.

This is just how progress works.

Now, who needs a hug?

Video after the break.

First, Hollywood announced it would bring us DIE HARD… in space!

Now, we’re getting HEART OF DARKNESS… in space!

The future is now!

Variety reports that Radar Pictures has hired Peter Cornwell (THE HAUNTING IN CONNECTICUT) to direct an adaptation of Joseph Conrad’s novel HEART OF DARKNESS as a "spacebound sci-fi pic.” The film will be called INTO DARKNESS which is actually a pretty good title as it applies to space exploration while calling to mind the themes of the novel.

After the film lost Darren Aronofksy as its director and earthquakes rocked Japan, no one knew when THE WOLVERINE would finally shoot. Now it seems that Hugh Jackman may have an idea.

The Playlist has reported on an interview Jackman did on Toronto Radio saying that THE WOLVERINE will shoot this fall:

"We shoot in October, so it will probably come out a year after that. That’s usually around the timeline."

Chris Hemsworth is blowin' up (just like in STAR TREK)!

He’s already gone from James Tiberius Kirk’s father to Marvel’s God of Thunder and the roles keep coming. Hemsworth is set to star as the huntsman in Universal’s SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN (naturally) and he has two films in the can awaiting release; CABIN IN THE WOODS and the RED DAWN remake. He also has a lil’ indie project shooting now in New Mexico called THE AVENGERS.

Following THOR’s worldwide success Sony Pictures wants to bet some coinage on Chris Hemsworth next, acquiring the action pitch SHADOW RUNNER for him to star in. Deadline reports the pitch is based off an original idea by DRIVE writer Hossein Amini.

TV’s greatest (drama) actor (as decided by Emmy voters every year he’s been eligible for BREAKING BAD) Bryan Cranston keeps getting more and more movie offers.

Yesterday, we told you that Cranston was offered the role of CIA Agent Jack O’Donnell in Ben Affleck’s ARGO. Now Cranston has joined the cast of Warner's GANGSTER SQUAD. (Interestingly enough, GANGSTER SQUAD is a project that Affleck passed on in order to direct ARGO.)

Variety reports that Cranston has signed on to play Max Kennard, “a laconic LAPD officer from Texas who enforces the law ambitiously.” The film is based on the LA Times piece “Tales from the Gangster Squad” which details the LAPD’s 1940s formation of the Gangster Squad in an attempt to combat rampant organized crime.

The following video is an interesting take on women in the fantasy genre (most notably, the lack of proper armor allowed to them) and I have to say, it's pretty spot on.

Now, you can blame George Lucas (and I don't see why you shouldn't) for introducing the concept of the scantily clad warrior chick into the brain of every male born before 1980 (and yes, even those born after that can fall victim to the "Gold Bikini Syndrome" but it tends to affect those of my generation more thoroughly) but perhaps, we should all hope that one day, in the future, women of fantasy might be able to cover more than just their rack and hoo-ha with chain-mail.

I mean, seriously, people, nipples are not the only place a girl can get stabbed.

Video after the break.

Hello Friends!

It's been a long time since I've posted, and I'm sorry for being "IncogNegro," but I've been crazy busy with school and starting a new ventures.

As for school - it is now over.

I had a helluva year, learned a LOT about me and how horrid the NYC public educational system is (I'm writing a book about my experience), and just how DOOMED we are as a society.

I woke up with this song in my head...

Anyways...

A few weeks ago, I got the opportunity to interview FLAVOR FLAV!

There's no denying Haley Joel Osment's talent.

Headlining The Sixth Sense, A.I. Artificial Intelligence and the underrated Secondhand Lions, Osment disappeared from the screen for the past several years, graduated New York University and now is back in a potentially big way.

According to Variety, Osment will star in the film adaptation of Steve Niles' horror comic series Wake The Dead to be directed by Jay Russell.

Craig Ferguson, who hosts the most entertaining talk show on television played host to author Neil Gaiman this week where the duo talked about Doctor Who.

Gaiman recently wrote an episode, "The Doctor's Wife."

Ugly Americans is one of those shows that proves to be a successful “friend-test” for those looking to include some new people into their inner circle (friend-test: the use of an obsession-be it music, television, or movies-to verify that someone is worthy enough to be friends with). It is righteously funny, borderline sick, and has some of the oddest collection of peripheral characters ever assembled, and if those who want to be friends with me can’t enjoy it, then they can “Suck My Balls” (to quote the Manbirds in the show).

Having been a fan of the show since its inception, the opportunity to talk with creator Devin Clark was something of a personal coup d’etat (meaning: I didn’t have to kidnap him and force him to tell me the plot points of season two, I could merely ask him in a professional manner) and yes, I did happen to end the interview with a major crush because anyone who can create a world as bizarre and funny as Monster New York deserves my fanatic love.

After the break is the complete interview with Mr. Clark.

Top Shelf, the publisher of such acclaimed graphic novels as Blankets, Essex County, Swallow Me Whole and Lost Girls has a new masterpiece on their hands, Ludovic Debeurme's LUCILLE.

Originally published in France to overwhelming critical acclaim, including the René Goscinny Prize and the Angoulême Essential Award, LUCILLE is the English-languge debut for Ludovic Debeurme, a young master of cartooning. It's a love story full of tragedy and hope, following two teenagers who cling to each other amid illness and grief. Arthur is suffocating under the painful legacy of his alcoholic father, but when he encounters shy Lucille in a treatment center for anorexia, they form an instant connection and set off for a journey across Europe, hoping against all odds to make their own destiny.

The book is in stores now and Top Shelf has graciously provided a preview for Forces of Geek readers. Check it out after the jump.

If you haven't seem Adventure Time, you're missing out.

The Cartoon Network series is deceptively simple with an inimitable charm that is endlessly appealing and entertaining.

Don't believe me?

Press release after the jump.

It's been a busy week when it comes to news regarding Ridley Scott's upcoming Alien prequel starring Michael Fassbender, Noomi Repace, Charlize Theron, Idris Elba, Sean Harris and Kate Dickie.

First, writer Damon Lindelof discussed the project.

Now, according to io9, there's a possible plot summary floating around. There's no way to determine it's authenticity or if it's just a creative piece of fan fiction, but check it out after the jump.

FIRST LOOK! The Return of BEASTS OF BURDEN!

Everyone's favorite team of animal detectives return in the anthology DHP #4 by the Eisner award winning team of Evan Dorkin and Jill Thompson.

After the jump check out a sneak peak of their appearance in the issue and be sure to check out free Beasts of Burden comic at Dark Horse.com!

Jon Land is a consummate storyteller.

Not content with writing over two dozen bestselling novels, Land also serves as the Vice President of marketing of the International Thriller Writers (ITW). Education is also a priority as Land frequently volunteers in schools to teach young students the process of writing and also serves as an alumni advisor at his alma mater, Brown University.

Land is known for his extensive research, which has resulted in his continued success. FOG! had the opportunity to chat with him about his latest release, his body of work and the recent announcement of the film adaptation and comic book series based on his book, THE SEVEN SINS: THE TYRANT ASCENDING.

Dunkin Donuts are promoting a tie-in beverage to the upcoming Captain America film and have produced an extremely charming commercial to promote it.

It's great stuff. I've watched it five times. I saw Thor once.

The commercial wins.

Today in BREAKING BAD news: Giancarlo Esposito joins I, ALEX CROSS and Bryan Cranston is in talks to join Ben Affleck’s ARGO.

THR reports that Bryan Cranston, who won three Emmys for his three seasons on BREAKING BAD, may join ARGO as CIA agent Jack O’Donnell. O’Donnell is Affleck’s character’s boss and was formally President Eisenhower’s bodyguard.

You may be closer to seeing Kevin Smith’s RED STATE than you previously thought (unless you previously thought you were never going to see the film, in which case… nothing has changed).

Though Smith’s foray into horror/thriller territory has long held an October 19th, 2011 release date (the 17th anniversary of CLERKS), now you’ll have the chance to see it a whole month before its theatrical release from the comfort of your home.

Damon Lindelof of LOST fame is making his way into the feature world of late with writing credits on COWBOYS & ALIENS, STAR TREK II… 2, and Ridley Scott’s PROMETHEUS. (I sure hope Lindelof likes Aliens or he must hate his job.)

Lindelof was recently interviewed for over two hours on The Kevin Pollack Chat Show, dropping some sweet, sweet details on the mysterious PROMETHEUS.

Is it a prequel? Something completely new? Please, tell us Damon!

Find Lindelof’s very lengthy description of PROMETHEUS after the jump, as transcribed by Slash Film:

Disclaimer: I had no idea who Alex Jones was before I saw this clip from his show, but let me tell you something, I will certainly be tuning in now...the guy is hilarious.

Now, normally I try to stay away from anything to do with conspiracy theorists because they make me tired, but Mr. Jones goes on a manic rant so hyper-amazing in this clip that I would be amiss if I just let it get lost in the World Wide Web.

Here's just a bit of the rant-from-hell topics that will come up: The movie Surrogates, The Matrix, Philip K. Dick being terrorized by government officials, us living in pods, Clockwork Elves, DMT, Wireheads, Virtual orgasms, Monkeys watching American Idol, etc...

And the best part of the show is how jacked up Mr. Jones gets on all this information that he is literally jumping up and down in his seat like a baby strapped into a Johnny-Jump-up.

Ahhh...you have to love him.

Video after the break.

With Hollywood transitioning from the age of the movie star into a culture of franchises, I'm not crazy to expect a new TRANSFORMERS film every few years for the rest of my life!

You know Paramount will mine that particular franchise until it loses its (financial) luster, at which point it will simply be sold to another studio and/or rebooted.

So while no one can predict the end of TRANSFORMERS, we do know how long star Shia LaBeouf plans on playing with action figures. Indy Jr. (LaBeouf, for those of you who tried so hard to forget CRYSTAL SKULL) told MTV News that TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON will be his last adventure as Sam Witwicky... for now.

In stores today from Robert Kirkman and Jason Howard!

Super Dinosaur and Derek Dynamo protect the world from the denizens of Inner Earth! Meanwhile, Max Maximus' master plan finally begins to take shape... and it's BIGGER than anything Super Dinosaur and Derek have faced thus far!

What's up, bitches?

Rob McElhenney, co-creator and star of FX's It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, will return this season in a big way.

50 pounds heavier.

Why? For the sheer comedy of playing his character, Mac, um, fat.

Rumors started when McElhenney cryptically posted on Facebook, “Fat Mac for Season 7?”

According to co-star Charlie Day, it's more than a rumor, “It’s been disgusting to watch him go through with this adventure. We were a little on the fence about it for his own personal health and safety,” he added, “but it has definitely made Mac a lot funnier.”

Check out Fat Mac after the jump.


This is not the disembodied head of Charlie Sheen...although I'm pretty sure some people wish it were

Landon Meier, the man behind those gruesome over-sized baby head masks has created an eerily realistic version of Mr. Charlie "Tiger Blood" Sheen that is so dead on that it is down-right frightening.

I mean, you could totally walk onto the set of Two-and-a-Half Men and Jon Cryer would probably wet himself in fear (right before security would tazer your ass).

Charlie is done in the style of his other masks (larger than a human head) but that doesn't stop people from freaking out when it is worn out and about (see video after the break) nor does it stop the person wearing said mask from suddenly "becoming " Charlie Sheen.

Which makes the power of this thing all the more scary.

Maybe in the end it might be a good idea to keep the mask locked up otherwise people might start to barricade hookers in bathrooms.

Video after the break.

“Are we having fun yet?”

If that made sense to you, welcome to the PARTY (DOWN)! If not…

PARTY DOWN belongs to the school of genius shows canceled before their time, sharing class with ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT and ANDY RICHTER CONTROLS THE UNIVERSE.

As is the case with ARRESTED, PARTY DOWN's cast and creator often mention the possibility of a PARTY DOWN feature film that would pick up where the beloved series left off.

In stores today!

WITCH DOCTOR #1 (of 4)
story BRANDON SEIFERT
art & cover LUKAS KETNER

HOUSE M.D. MEETS FINGE IN THE FIRST SKYBOUND ORIGINAL FROM ROBERT KIRKMAN’s NEW COMICS IMPRINT!
Meet Vincent Morrow, a doctor looking for a vaccine... for the apocalypse! In this stand-alone first issue, a family needs Dr. Morrow’s help with their son’s illness: Demonic possession. But when Morrow attempts an experimental cure, he discovers the boy’s disease isn’t all spinning heads and pea soup — it’s like nothing you’ve seen before! Horror gets a brain transplant in WITCH DOCTOR, the book WARREN ELLIS calls "Mental."

I love MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE films!

Even with the super-weak second chapter, M:I totally ranks up high among my favorite franchises. Tom Cruise really is great as superspy Ethan Hunt, offering my favorite secret agent thrills this side of the pond.

Though we posted the leaked French trailer for MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE – GHOST PROTOCOL earlier this week, now Paramount has released the official US version (in HD, no less) which will be running before TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON.

And it’s awesome sauce!

Check out the full trailer after the jump.

Before Jon Favreau found success as a director, he hosted the pseudo-talk show, Dinner For Five, where he and four celebrities chatted while having dinner together.

Now, Favreau's new movie, Cowboys & Aliens, will be out next month and he was able to wrangle on of it's stars, the notoriously dry and glib Harrison Ford, and engage the screen legend in one of his best interviews in recent memory.

Check it out after the jump.

Steven Spielberg's newest film, War Horse is coming to theaters on December 28th, and the film's Facebook page has revealed a few photos and an official synopsis.

DreamWorks Pictures’ “War Horse,” director Steven Spielberg’s epic adventure, is a tale of loyalty, hope and tenacity set against a sweeping canvas of rural England and Europe during the First World War. “War Horse” begins with the remarkable friendship between a horse named Joey and a young man called Albert, who tames and trains him. When they are forcefully parted, the film follows the extraordinary journey of the horse as he moves through the war, changing and inspiring the lives of all those he meets—British cavalry, German soldiers, and a French farmer and his granddaughter—before the story reaches its emotional climax in the heart of No Man’s Land.

The First World War is experienced through the journey of this horse—an odyssey of joy and sorrow, passionate friendship and high adventure. “War Horse” is one of the great stories of friendship and war— a successful book, it was turned into a hugely successful international theatrical hit that is arriving on Broadway next year. It now comes to screen in an epic adaptation by one of the great directors in film history.

After the jump, check out the film's international trailer.

Attention PROVIDENCE and BOSTON Cinegeeks! We're Giving Away Tickets to HORRIBLE BOSSES!

Management candidate Nick Hendricks (Jason Bateman) has been logging 12-hour days and eating everything his twisted supervisor Dave Harken (Kevin Spacey) dishes out, toward the promise of a well-earned promotion. But now he knows that's never going to happen. Meanwhile, dental assistant Dale Arbus (Charlie Day) has been struggling to maintain his self-respect against the relentless X-rated advances of Dr. Julia Harris, D.D.S. (Jennifer Aniston), when she suddenly turns up the heat. And accountant Kurt Buckman (Jason Sudeikis) has just learned that his company's corrupt new owner, Bobby Pellit (Colin Farrell), is not only bent on ruining his career but plans to funnel toxic waste into an unsuspecting population.

What can you do when your boss is a psycho, a man-eater or a total tool?

Quitting is not an option. These monsters must be stopped. So, on the strength of a few-too-many drinks and some dubious advice from a hustling ex-con whose street cred is priced on a sliding scale (Jamie Foxx), the guys devise a convoluted but foolproof plan to rid the world of their respective employers... permanently.

But even the best-laid plans are only as good as the brains behind them.

The comedy "Horrible Bosses" stars Jason Bateman, Charlie Day and Jason Sudeikis, with Jennifer Aniston, Colin Farrell, Kevin Spacey, Donald Sutherland, Julie Bowen and Jamie Foxx.

And we're giving away tickets to see it on Tuesday, July 5th in both Boston and Providence!

ThunderCats, one of the most beloved cartoons of the 1980s and a continuing cultural force, comes to Cartoon Network in an all-new contemporary reimagining of the iconic animated series. Set as an epic tale, ThunderCats tells the story of a hero’s journey to fulfill his ultimate destiny. The series begins with an hour-long special premiere event on Friday, July 29, at 8 p.m. (ET, PT). Following the premiere, the show will air regularly on Cartoon Network Friday nights at 8:30 p.m. (ET, PT) beginning August 5.

Thunder, Thunder, ThunderCats! Ho!! On Third Earth, the kingdom of Thundera is being threatened by the evil sorcerer Mumm-Ra, and Lion-O, the young heir to the throne, embarks on a great quest to take his rightful place as king. The unlikely champion must work with his faithful comrades Tygra, Cheetara, Panthro, WilyKit, WilyKat, and his loyal pet, Snarf, who join him on his journey to save their world from darkness. From Warner Bros. Animation (WBA), ThunderCats is executive produced by Sam Register (Teen Titans, Ben 10, The Looney Tunes Show), with Michael Jelenic (Batman: The Brave and the Bold, Wonder Woman) and Ethan Spaulding (Avatar: The Last Airbender) producing.

To celebrate the premiere, ThunderCats will have a significant presence at Comic-Con International: San Diego. A panel scheduled for 3:30 p.m. on Friday, July 22 in room 6A will include an exclusive screening of the hour-long series premiere. Producers Michael Jelenic, Ethan Spaulding and art director Dan Norton will participate in a subsequent panel discussion and answer questions from fans. Coinciding with Comic-Con, Cartoon Network will also air nine episodes from the classic ThunderCats series over the weekend of July 23. Boomerang will also host a classic ThunderCats marathon on July 16 and 17 and air the series every day at 5 p.m. starting Monday, July 18.

Cartoon Network digital adds to the ThunderCats experience with online content including the free game, “Thundera Run,” launching on CartoonNetwork.com July 18. Additionally, a free “Party Pack” from Warner Bros Animation will be available for download and will include everything a true fan needs to host the ultimate ThunderCats viewing party.

Check out the trailer after the jump!

Take Team America and add a generous helping of Inglorious Basterds and you might very well be left with Jackboots On Whitehall.

Arriving on DVD, VOD and Digital Cable on July 26th, the film stars Ewan McGregor, Alan Cumming, Stephen Merchant and Timothy Spall in a supermarionated adventure spoofing World War II.

Here's the film's synopsis:

World War II: What if Nazis seized London and all of England had to band together? When scarily campy Nazi leaders invade by drilling under the English Channel and up through the cobblestones on Whitehall, Churchill leaves his quiet retirement with a cat that looks like Hitler to issue a call to arms from his bunker under Downing Street. Chris, a young farm worker with large hands, rallies the village to fight the good fight -- including an alcoholic Vicar, the oldest man in the town, several idiots, a random Frenchman and Bobby Fiske, a swearing American who believes he's battling Russia.

Scottish brothers Edward and Rory McHenry have assembled an all star cast for their feature film debut including McGregor, Cumming, Merchant and Spall as well as Dominic West, Rosamund Pike, Tom Wilkinson and Richard E. Grant.

Check out the trailer after the jump.

FOG! Correspondents Dean Galanis and Emily Eggan covered last week's Saturn Awards in Los Angeles.

After the jump check out some more of Emily's fantastic pics.

The “cloud” is simultaneously the most obnoxious, yet appropriate buzzword to describe the current trend of personal technology.

We are two decades into the internet revolution, but only recently have we begun to take the next step towards merging all of our personally technology with the internet, as opposed to the internet just being one “thing” that is part of our overall technology experience.

We are at a precipice, and the technology services we choose to enmesh our digital lives with need to be chosen wisely.

THR reports that Steven Spielberg has found another actor for his next film, LINCOLN.

Add Oscar-nominee David Strathairn to the cast that already includes such “Holy Shit” names as Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Tommy Lee Jones, Tim Blake Nelson, James Spader, Hal Holbrook, Sally Field, and Daniel Day-Lewis.

Strathairn will be playing President Lincoln’s (Day-Lewis) Secretary of State, William H. Seward. Seward was one of the most loyal members on Lincoln’s wartime cabinet and actually fought off his own would-be assassin on the same night the President was killed. Wouldn’t that make for an interesting third act finale?

Eh, Mr. Spielberg?

Let me start by saying I think Ben Affleck is a tremendous director. THE TOWN was quite good, but GONE BABY GONE is really a film I can’t recommend highly enough if you have yet to see it.

We have known for a while that Affleck’s third directorial turn will be at the helm of ARGO. The film is based off a Wired article about how the Canadian government and the CIA staged a fake film production to rescue Americans during the Tehran hostage crisis. Previously, the only actor cast in the film was Alan Arkin, but now ARGO has found two more.

Dear Jerkwad,

So what if the 8-foot beauty was only created to be used as a promotional tool for the line of Adidas Star Wars sneakers last year, don't you know that I want it?

I am willing to put my mortgage on the line for this thing! That's how incredibly hard this rocks.

Hell, I just want to lie on it naked for hours at a time while my husband tenderly caresses my head and calls me Chewy (it's this whole Han Solo/Chewbacca naked-time fantasy of mine-let's not go into it) while taking me to Happytown in less than 12-Parsecs.

AND YOU HAVE THE BALLS TO DEFY ME?!

Even though 300 director Zack Snyder has moved onto MAN OF STEEL, Warner Bros is still pursuing a prequel to the film that reestablished sandals and abs as a “thing.” Based on the upcoming graphic novel from Frank Miller, the prequel explores the history of the giant king Xerxes from the original film.

Deadline reports that the prequel is now going as 300: BATTLE OF ARTEMISIA because lord knows we are too stupid to figure out that XERXES is related to 300 when the two films will most likely look identical in visual silliness.

By Dean Galanis
Photos by Emily Eggan

The 37th Annual Saturn Awards were held last Thursday at the Castaway Restaurant , a swank eatery with a truly lovely view.

I’ve lived in Hollywood for the past five years, yet this is the first time I’d heard of, let alone visited, the Castaway, but according to some of the staff I chatted with, the likes of Quentin Tarantino and Gene Hackman had recently come by for some food and a drink or three.

But on Thursday, the Castaway belonged to the actors and crews behind the year’s best in genre film, TV and home video, according to the Academy of Science Fiction, Fantasy and Horror Film. It was a real treat to attend my first Saturn Awards; being a lifelong genre fan, I always find it a pleasure to be around like-minded geeks who, for the most part, avoid the over-the-top nerdiness of the worst of the cons.

AT THE MOUNTAINS OF MADNESS was turning out to be a very interesting and ambitious project until Universal squashed it due to its high price tag and ratings fears. Guillermo del Toro was set to direct his passion project with Tom Cruise attached to star, but Universal pulled the plug after del Toro refused to promise a PG-13 rating.

With studios spooked that the age of the movie star may be over and budgets being cut all across town, most figured this was the last anyone would hear of the very expensive project. But based on what Del Toro told the LA Times, the cinematic adaptation of H.P. Lovecraft’s novella may have life in it yet:

I’m not giving up. MOUNTAINS OF MADNESS has been with me for 13, 14 years and I really don’t want to give up on it. Look, the movies I do, I stick with them when I think, well, if I don’t do it, nobody will… HELLBOY if I hadn’t done it, I don’t think anyone would have. PAN’S LABYRINTH, same thing. MOUNTAINS OF MADNESS, the way I plan to do it is a very peculiar take, and I think if I don’t stick with it the version I would like to see would never get made.

When I was a kid I would spend hours directing emotionally wrenching scenes between Skipper and G.I. Joe and Barbie and Rambo that resulted from a lot of built-up hostility between myself and the fact that I kept getting Barbies as gift rather than Gobots.

These tiffs took hours and usually ended up with someone having sex with Strawberry Shortcake because that smelly chick was a slut and no one felt good about themselves afterward.

But I digress, this post is about another use of action figures, in video-form, (which includes Deadpool taunting Green Lantern over the poor reaction to GL's movie) that makes my foray into plastic doll sex seem like child's play.

God I wish I still had those dolls sometimes...cause mama needs to work out some demons.

Video after the break.

Paramount’s G.I. JOE sequel just added three names to its cast including the man formally known as “The Rock.”

Variety originally reported that Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson was in talks to play Roadblock in G.I. JOE 2, set to be directed by Jon Chu (STEP UP 2: THE STREETS, STEP UP 3D, JUSTIN BIEBER: NEVER SAY NEVER). Yesterday, Johnson confirmed what he was cooking (his being cast in the sequel) via twitter, tweeting:

“It’s official: Call the Pentagon, get me my big ass gun – Rocks a JOE!”

With summer upon us, movies based upon comic book properties are in full swing.

This season has thus far seen the releases of Thor, X-Men: First Class, and Green Lantern, with Captain America to debut in just a few short weeks.

The past decade has been full of comic movies, ranging from downright awesome to oh, God, please make it stop, my eyes are bleeding bad.

Ok, look, if you're not naked in five minutes, I'm out.

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