Fun, imagination, temporarily free from cares and little to no awareness of an outside world.
These are what make Disney a great product.
Multi-media, clothing, theme parks, destination cruises, the list goes on.
Disney gives everyone enough choices to make their lives Disney-ish all day, everyday.
“So, what about Disney is related to health?” you may ask (because my editor, Stefan Blitz, has a gun to your head forcing you to interact with this column)
Great question! There are two things, actually.
One is exercise, one is food and they contradict one another in a bang-your-head-on-the-pavement sort of way. (Stefan, please lower the gun, now.)
To be more specific, Mousercise.
When Disney made the move to create their own cable channel in 1982, they made an admirable decision to create a show for kids around their already popular album, Mickey Mousercise.
Kids were already jumping around to the album, so why not make exercise even more fun with characters in workout clothes and less of a liability by having a knowledgeable adult leading the way?
“Sorry, Billy, but punching your sister is not cardio.”
“Aww, gee whiz.”
The woman that encouraged a generation of kids to enjoy exercising (or, at least, passively watching others exercise) was Kellyn Plasschaert. Looking like a younger, hipper, more agile Rue McClanahan, Kellyn made exercise seem easy and fun.
Leading a roomful of children of varying enthusiasm, dexterity and cognitive awareness of where they were (a few truly looked as though they were stolen from their parents’ car, shoved into a leotard and told, “Dance or your family dies”), Kellyn turned stretching, cardio and dancing into a long-running television show that was eventually turned into a very popular home video collection.
Whether it just kept the kids active or just kept them busy enough not to ask, “Why are you kissing Uncle Steve, mommy?” parents loved plopping their kids in front of the television.
And, apparently, kids were happy to so be plopped.
I asked one such former kid about Mousercise. She asked to remain anonymous:
FOG: Thanks for chatting with me, Meagan.
Meagan: This is anonymous, right?
FOG: Absolutely. So, tell us how often did you Mousercise?
Meagan: As often as possible. There’s nothing a six year old cares about more than flat abs, after all!
FOG: What attracted you to Mousercise rather than, say, simply jumping around rigorously to Good Morning, America?
Meagan: For one thing, Good Morning, America didn’t have Disney characters in exercise clothes.
FOG: I see, so you’re a bigot. Now, did you identify with any of the kids on the show? Why? Did any of them seem scared to you?
Meagan: There was no one in particular I identified with. None of them seemed scared, though. Awkward, but most kids are.
FOG: So, you hate children, also. Now, did you identify with Kellyn, the Mousercise trainer and ideal star for a Disney version of Flashdance?
Meagan: I didn’t identify with her, but I wanted to be just like her when I grew up. She had the coolest hair! And all of those awesome leotards!
FOG: What did you take away from the show that connects for you to this day?
Meagan: That exercise is an important addition to every day, even if you’re an animated character.
FOG: Tell that to Fat Albert. One last question: In the opening credits, Mousercise showcases someone named Steve. Why was Steve there?
Meagan: I’m sorry, I’m not allowed to talk about Steve.
FOG: Thanks for taking the time. Just contact Mr. Blitz for your $500 interview fee.
Mousercise has left a last mark on its former viewers, many of whom have introduced their own children to Kellyn and crew.
Kellyn passed away in 2009 at age 50.
Food!
To be more specific, junk food.
It is strange for a company that went out of its way to encourage exercise to sell so much crappy food at their theme parks. While the occasional fruit stand can be found, most of the food Disney serves is prepared with low cost-big returns in mind and little about nutrition.
Large, dried out turkey legs can be found glistening the ravenous faces of many of theme park visitors. That’s 1092 calories per person and 50 grams of fat for only $8, the price of which does not include a decorative leotard or headband.
Want a funnel cake to wash that down?
Well, you’re in luck! Along with your choice of toppings, you also get 760 calories, 44 grams of fat and 16 grams of sugar. If any of your teeth fall out from this, it’s because they couldn’t handle its awesomeness!
Junk food and theme parks have co-existed for decades, but to have a company that opens Habit Heroes, an exhibit that hopes to battle childhood obesity, to turn around and serve those same kids fried everything, seems counterproductive.
Was Mousercise a sincere concern about exercise on the part of Disney or was it simply for monetary reasons?
Do they stand behind the message they themselves have promoted?
Do they make the same claims out from behind the buttocks of someone buying a turkey leg from a vendor near Cinderella’s Castle?
If better food and better health can be profitable, then maybe Disney will get back to looking out for their guests, their fans and the generations of children they influence.
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| “Hold on, you said there were Funnel Cakes?” |
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