When I drink I never drive, not because I can retain rational thought while intoxicated, It's just that I can never find my car, so I tend to call a cab or ask my husband to drive me home.
But you have to give it up to Warren Thomas Michael of Clay County Florida whose excuse for his erratic driving was not the copious amount of alcohol he consumed that evening but that A SQUIRREL WAS EATING HIM.
Now, you can imagine that a police officer hearing this excuse would think the guy was completely toasted and proceed to ask said drunkard to remove himself from the car for a sobriety test, but then the weirdest thing happened to the police officer, the drunk guy REMOVED A SQUIRREL FROM HIS SHIRT!
Does the police officer then run from the scene because obviously we are dealing with a rabid squirrel here and who wants to take a medical leave for rabies, or does he arrest him and hope that somehow the rabid drunk guy dies in jail.
Watch the news report and find out.