Monday, September 17, 2012
LONDON MOVIE THEATER Employs Faceless Spandex-Clad Ninjas To Tell Loudmouths to "Shut the F**k Up
There is nothing more upsetting than paying $12 for a movie ticket only to have your viewing experience interrupted by loud people, a phone ringing, or, goddammit, someone texting.
Oh sure, you could punch that asshole in the face but then you'd be the one in handcuffs missing the movie and what good is that?
I guess you can't do anything...
But wait, in London at the Prince Charles Cinema, the theater has decided enough is enough and simply hired Ninjas to take care of the problem so as to make it clear to the person who can't stop playing Draw Something that now is not the time to light up the room with their 1000 watt phone. The ninjas move through the room undetected, swaddled in head-to-toe spandex and then, when a perpetrator is found, they pounce, leaving that person with urine-soaked pants and feeling weird inside, as if they have been violated.
Here's what one jerkface had to say about the experience:
"I normally hate noisy people in cinemas, but I got a call from my friend just as the movie started and thought I could get away with taking it. The last thing I expected was two completely blacked-out people suddenly appearing by our seats and give me and my mates a warning to shut up. It was actually pretty terrifying at first, but then I realised it was a bit of a laugh and a great way to make it clear what I was doing was having an impact on those around me. It certainly made me hang up and shut up for the rest of the film."[I Watch Stuff]
Personally I think it's a great way to get people to quiet down so I can happily stuff myself on over-priced popcorn.
But then again, I always did have a thing about faceless people in spandex.