Friday, September 14, 2012

Smallville: Random, Awesome and WTF?! - S7E20: Arctic

Good news is the artifact that can control the Traveler (we call him Clark, just for kicks) has been found.  Bad news is it’s been found by Lex.  It’s showdown time at the Fortress of Solitude with Clark and a Lex who now knows everything facing off and only one will walk away in the seventh season finale.

Go ahead.  Guess who?  The show’s got three more seasons to go.

The Random:
1. Kara sure does have a thing against airplanes because this is the second one she’s jacked up in just a few episodes.  If planes are becoming the new automobiles of Smallville, we’re gonna need to shift from shots to funnels.

2. Lex’s security guard has a lot to learn about talking sass to him.  He’ll take off on what’s likely a suicide mission to an uncharted region of the world to visit an extraterrestrial fortress to face off against the most powerful being in the known galaxy whenever he damn well pleases.  Now, start the damn plane.

3. Kara’s stuck in the Phantom Zone, spinning through space in a piece of glass.  It must a family thing.

You’re not really of the House of El until you’ve
done some hard time in the Zone.

The Awesome:
1. Kara and Lex have a nice little heart to heart in his “impregnable” study and Kara tries to convince Lex that he needs to destroy the Traveler.  Why would she do something like that?  Remember that ambiguous final battle between Kara and Brainiac?  Yeah.  Kara didn’t exactly win that one.

2. Oh, Chloe, it was a good plan to try and trick Kara into a Kryptonite trap even though it’s not really Kara, but even better is that you apparently have some sort of anti-Brainiac failsafe that kicked him in the cybernetic balls.  Sure, it put you in a glassy eyed coma, but that’s why we keep you around.  Plus, Clark’s gonna finish the job for you so just sit tight.  Good thing Clark’s rule about killing doesn’t extend to alien androids.

3. Oh, Smallville season finales, you always make me feel all tingly.  Lana’s finally gone, Chloe is under arrest by the DDS before she can answer Jimmy’s marriage proposal, and best of all, Lex vs. Clark in the Fortress, all secrets out in the open and Clark incapacitated as the place literally comes down around them.  This is Lex’s final episode and he’s going out in style.

Bocce ball tournaments settled most feuds on Krypton.


The WTF?!:
1. Jimmy, did you really believe Lex all this time that his call to DDS to keep Chloe out of federal prison was truly without strings?  A minute ago you were ready to want to have this guy arrested for every crime in the past ten years.  Use your head, man.  But how can you not love Lex’s reaction to Jimmy complaining about how hard it is to lie: “It’s never too late to learn a new skill.”

2. It’s really hard to buy that Jor El had a weapon devised that only humans could use to kill his son in case he went rogue considering how condescending he was towards them every chance he got.  That’d be like Hitler giving the codes that the Nazis were using to some prisoner in the camps for safe keeping.

3. After Clark sat by your side while you were a drooling vegetable and put up with all your crap, really, Lana, you leave him a Dear John video like you did for Whitney?  Wow, you gutless bitch.  He should have pulled a Cuckoo’s Nest on you and Chief Bromdened your whiny ass when he had the chance.  Oh well, Lois is there to pick up the pieces.

Pictured: Footage from the Blair Bitch Project


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