In a move that is certainly sacrilegious in some cereal-centric bible somewhere, Post Cereal has decided to remove Fred Flintstone as frontman of the Pebbles empire and replace him with a more relevant spokesperson that the stupid, frakking kids of today can relate to…John Cena.
I don’t know if this change was conducted by poll or because some cereal execs kids said to their easily influenced parent “John Cena is better than Fred Flintstone” but for a limited time, a wrestler will be spoon feeding sugar-soaked breakfast foods into the mouths of our offspring.
But thank Saint Sugar Smacks, for making this travesty last for only a small amount of time before the great and powerful Fred will be returned to the box like the king he is (I mean the guy has been shilling this shit since 1971, you gotta respect that kind of longevity). Personally, I don’t think I could ingest a box of Cena Pebbles without killing myself due to the horrible sadness such a thing would cause me.
Of course, the marketing director of this clusterfuck, Sharon Pupel, has said, and I quote, “Cena may return to the cereal box in the fall when school is back in session” Probably because those horrible little shits can’t attend classes without some wrestler telling them to.
Source: Cartoon Brew