Friday, January 25, 2013

Smallville: Random, Awesome and WTF?! - S10E8: Abandoned

We saw her in cameo form last season, but here we finally get to see Granny Goodness (Christine Willes), another of Darkseid’s minions, and she’s got secrets that she wants to share with Tess (Cassidy Freeman) about her true origins.  Most grannies just make cookies and stuff.

It seems Darkseid’s influence has been here longer than anyone thought.  And none of it involved cookies.

The Random:
1. Tess can just pop out of bed straight from a major nightmare and still look dope beyond belief.  How does she do it?

2. So, who’s playing Mama Lane on a videotape from Lois’ past?  Why, it’s none other than Teri Hatcher of Lois & ClarkDean Cain got to come to Smallville as a villain, Margot Kidder and Christopher Reeve made appearances, as did Terence Stamp (in voice), Annette O'Toole got to play Mama Kent, and even Helen Slater stopped by.  Damn you, Gene Hackman, for not joining the fun!

3. I don’t have much experience in these places, but I’m pretty sure it’s atypical for orphanages to run death dojos with scantily clad and heavily armed young woman in their basements.  But like I said, my experience is lacking.

Smallville, Superman, DC Comics
“No.  No, I don’t know why Gene Hackman is the only major player
to refuse to play with us, sorry.”

The Awesome:1. Of all of Darkseid’s allies, Granny Goodness has always been one of the creepiest and this interpretation of her is perfect because she’s not dressed in the garish armor of the comics, but rather just appears as a kindly old woman with just the right amount of menace.  And her “orphanage” is like right out of a horror movie.

2. Not only do we get our first real example of Granny’s power, but we also get the female Furies, brainwashed soldiers for the armies of Apokolips, too.  They’re twisted, they’re no joke, and all pretty damn hot, to boot.  And Ollie is married to one of them in real life.  Good for you, Justin Hartley.

3. The first onscreen meeting between Granny, Desaad (Steve Byers) and Godfrey (Michael Daingerfield) lays it all out there with the first actual mention of Darkseid by name and the role they’ll all play, and that moment of darkness is tempered by one of light and Clark (Tom Welling)’s preparations to propose to Lois.

Smallville, Superman, DC Comics, Jack Kirby
Someone’s been whipping up a few batches of crazy pills…

The WTF?!:
1. Apparently, orphanages are subject to the same rigorous background and safety checks as hospitals and schools are in this show because this one Granny is running is just chock full of child endangerment.

2. Sure, Clark gave Lois his little Kryptonian black book but does she really think it’s a good idea to go snooping around in all of his stuff and go check out the Fortress unsupervised?  Apparently, yes, she does.

3. OK, Granny traumatizing her had a lot to do with, but Tess is like the thirtieth person on this show to have huge chunks of memory missing from their past, and this is presumably before the repeated blunt forces trauma to the head they keep getting.  Hey, Tess, guess what.  All that trying to separate yourself from the Luthors?  You are a Luthor.  Although, at least that Pamela woman from a few seasons back wasn't completely insane about an affair after all.

Smallville, Superman, DC Comics, Luthor
Lionel Luthor, in the case of Tess Mercer, you ARE the father!

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