Thursday, June 13, 2013
GUMMY BEAR CEREAL: Finally, Some Cereal I Can Totally Eat Without Milk
Okay, Okay so this isn't so much a box of cereal as it is a really big box of Gummy Bears that you can then pour into a bowl and shove down your face hole (as if you needed a reason to do so).
And thank the candy gods because some of us gluttons are a little embarrassed to break into a Costco-sized bag of Haribo Gummy Bears so early in the morning (EVEN THOUGH WE SO WANT TO) unless, of course, they happen to be in a boxed marked "Cereal" which absolves us of our sin.
So yeah, the sugar content may be a bit higher than say, Bran Flakes:
But at least I'm fucking happy in the morning.
Not like those of you who revel in your dietary superiority as if I'm supposed to give a shit that you spoon globs of regurgitated leafy growth into you stupid face that is low in fat and calories and makes your poo super compact...Geez, maybe all this sugar isn't so great for me.
Shut up self and eat another bowl of Gummy Bear Cereal.
You'll be fine after your heart stops.