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62nd Annual Primetime Emmy Awards RANT – 8/29


Hey people, the summer is coming to an end (I have to go back to school tomorrow!), and we all know what that means…

IT’S EMMY TIME!

As usual, E! started their coverage at 6, and it was, as usual, a whole lotta nuthin’.

Ryan Seacrest and that bobble head, Giuliana Rancic just blathered on and on about what people are wearing, and who will be the next judge on American Idol (I think Seacrest plugged that shit 45 times).

NBC started their coverage an hour before the show at 7, and I just tuned into them 5 minutes before.


Billy Bush is an idiot.

I’d like to see a cage match between Billy and Ryan.

Here is “TV Personality” Maria Menounos.

She looks like a hooker.

Hey Maria, “Showgirls” called. They want their wardrobe back.

And here’s an example of what seems to be the “jewelry trend” – rings that cover your fist.


Here is the electrified corpse of Robert Morse! He’s on Mad Men.

I’m guessing he’s very happy to be alive, let alone at this show.

Oh look everyone, “TV Personality” Shaun Robinson!

I think she’s still a talking head on Access Hollywood. Funny, you NEVER hear ANYTHING about this chick.

Annie Wood and Henry Ian.

Who are they and why are they here? (He’s Desmond on Lost, brother- Stefan)

Okay, it’s 8:00, on with the show!

Our host Jimmy Fallon made a GREAT opening package that aped Glee. I don’t know if you watch his show, but he’s been doing this for a while now.

This was GREAT! (Neil Patrick Harris, watch your back!)

On to the first category and award

*** COMEDY ***

SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A COMEDY
Eric Stonestreet
Jesse Tyler Ferguson
Jon Cryer
Chris Colfer
Ty Burrell
Neil Patrick Harris

WINNER – ERIC STONESTREET – Modern Family

Do you hear the music leading up to the commercial?

It’s a James Brown song! Do you know why?

Well I think that The Roots are the house band (with some extras) and/or Ahmir is the Musical Director. This band is very funky.

WRITING FOR A COMEDY SERIES
WINNER – STEVEN LEVITAN AND CHRISTOPHER LLOYD – Modern Family

SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A COMEDY
Jane Lynch – Glee
Kristen Wiig – Saturday Night Live
Julie Bowen – Modern Family
Jane Krakowski – 30 Rock
Sofia Vergara – Modern Family
Holland Taylor – Two And A Half Men

WINNER – JANE LYNCH – Glee

HOORAY, THE LESBIAN WON!

Lauren Graham’s here to present an award.

Her dress looks sort of like a black and white plastic bag.

DIRECTING IN A COMEDY SERIES
Nurse Jackie
Glee
Modern Family
30 Rock
Glee
WINNER – RYAN MURPHY – Glee

LEAD ACTOR IN A COMEDY
Larry David – Curb Your Enthusiasm
Steve Carell – The Office
Jim Parsons – The Big Bang Theory
Tony Shalhoub – Monk
Matthew Morrison – Glee
Alec Baldwin – 30 Rock

WINNER – JIM PARSONS – Big Bang Theory!

HOORAY FOR THE NERD!

LEAD ACTRESS IN A COMEDY
Amy Poehler – Parks And Recreation
Julia Louis-Dreyfus – The New Adventures Of Old Christine (just got cancelled)
Toni Collette – The United States Of Tara
Edie Falco – Nurse Jackie
Lea Michele – Glee
Tina Fey – 30 Rock

WINNER – EDIE FALCO – Nurse Jackie (when she accepted the award, she pointed out that her show IS NOT A COMEDY)

**** REALITY ***

REALITY COMPETITION PROGRAM
Top Chef
American Idol
The Amazing Race
Dancing With The Stars
Project Runway

WINNER – TOP CHEF!

I love The Amazing Race, but HOORAY FOR THE FOODIES

Holy crap, these Oprah commercials are getting ridiculous. Now I’m crying at every single one of them. Farewell indeed!

*** DRAMA ***

WRITING FOR A DRAMA SERIES
The Good Wife
Mad Men
Mad Men
Friday Night Lights
Lost

WINNER – MATTHEW WEINER & ERIN LEVY – Mad Men, “Shut The Door. Have A Seat.”

SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A DRAMA
John Slattery – Mad Men
Aaron Paul – Breaking Bad
Andre Braugher – Men Of A Certain Age
Leonard Winstone – Damages
Terry O’Quinn – Lost
Michael Emerson – Lost
WINNER – AARON PAUL – BREAKING BAD!

I gotta give Mr. Braugher a shout out for being nominated. He’s Black, AND on a show that me and about 6 other people watch.

I wasn’t a big fan of “Everybody Loves Raymond,” but what’s his face did a great job creating this show. The guy who play –Ray Romano, THAT’S his name! Anyway, if it’s still on the air, you should watch it. No, I don’t remember what network its on. (TNT-Stefan)

OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA
Christina Hendricks – Mad Men
Elizabeth Moss – Mad Men
Rose Byrne – Damages
Sharon Gless – Burn Notice
Christine Baranski – The Good Wife

WINNER – ARCHIE PANJABI – The Good Wife

Sorry Christina, looks like your red headed T&A couldn’t do it for ‘ya.

LEAD ACTOR IN A DRAMA
Bryan Cranston – Breaking Bad
Jon Hamm – Mad Men
Hugh Laurie – House
Kyle Chandler – Friday Night Lights
Michael C. Hall – Dexter
Matthew Fox – Lost

WINNER – BRYAN CRANSTON! – Breaking Bad

If you haven’t watched that show, you need to catch up.

DIRECTING FOR A DRAMA
Mad Men
Dexter
Treme
Breaking Bad
Lost

WINNER – STEVE SHILL – Director for “The Getaway” episode of Dexter

Oh lord, here’s Fallon dressed up like Elton John, singing a tribute to the shows that were cancelled. He changed the lyrics to “Candle In The Wind.” Now, he’s a member if Boys II Men bidding farewell to Law And Order (“Goodbye To Yesterday”) – now he’s Billy Joe Armstrong singing goodbye to Lost (“The Time Of Your Life”) Pretty good Jimmy!

Now I’m really paying attention to the songs for the commercial bumpers – they are really funky. Playing “Fame” by David Bowie – That sampled JAMES BROWN!

LEAD ACTRESS IN A DRAMA
January Jones – Mad Men
Mariska Hargitay – Law And Order
Julianna Margulies – The Good Wife
Kyra Sedgwick – The Closer
Glenn Close – Damages
Connie Britton – Friday Night Lights

WINNER – KYRA SEDGWICK – The Closer

Her first win!

*** VARIETY ***

OUTSTANDING WRITING FOR A VARIETY, MUSIC, OR COMEDY SPECIAL
Bill Maher…But I’m Not Wrong
Wanda Sykes: I’ma be Me
82nd Annual Academy Awards
63rd Annual Tony Awards
The Kennedy Center Honors

WINNER – THE 63RD ANNUAL TONY AWARDS!

Let’s hear it for Neil Patrick Harris!

YAY BROADWAY!

Wait a minute, is that “Rocks Off” I hear? Wow. Oh, and another promo for the very funny NBC show “Community” (brought to you by some luxury car maker)

Ricky Gervais is DAMN FUNNY!

He’s handing out beers to the front rows.

And he cracked a good Mel Gibson joke. (Ricky didn’t want to do any jokes about him because he suffered enough. But not as much as the Jews)

I CAN’T WAIT for The Golden Globes!

DIRECTING FOR A VARIETY, MUSIC, OR COMEDY SPECIAL
The 25th Anniversary Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame Concert
In Performance At The White House: A Celeb…Wait a minute, you don’t care about that.

MUSIC OR COMEDY SERIES
The Colbert Report
The Daily Show
Real Time With Bill Maher
Saturday Night Live
The Tonight Show WITH CONAN O’BRIAN

WINNER – THE DAILY SHOW

Wait a minute. A commercial is about to come on. What’s that I hear? “Knee Deep” by P-Funk!

Annnnnnd, we’re back.

The Bob Hope Humanitarian Award is going to gorgeous George Clooney. And he’s asking the crowd to NOT give him a standing ovation. He’s so humble.

He’s come a long way from The Facts Of Life…

*** MOVIES AND MINI SERIES ***

I didn’t see any of them, so I’m skipping them.

Here’s Jewel. “I wrote this song for a friend who died of Cancer.”

What a nice lead in to the montage of TV people who died.

I would have rather heard this…

Oooh look, Al Pacino won an Emmy!

He played “Dr. Death” in the TV movie, “You Don’t Know Jack.” This is ironic, because he looks like an electrified corpse who just got shocked back to life. What is going on with the hair on his head…and his face? Oy.

Why does Tom Hanks have such a hard-on for WWII? A ten part miniseries? Isn’t this what The History Channel is for? Uh oh, does he own The History Channel?

It is now 10:50.

OUTSTANDING DRAMA SERIES
Mad Men
True Blood
Breaking Bad
Dexter
The Good Wife
Lost

WINNER – MAD MEN

That’s three in a row! I think True Blood should have won.

OUTSTANDING COMEDY SERIES
Curb Your Enthusiasm
The Office
Nurse Jackie
Modern Family
30 Rock
Glee

WINNER – MODERN FAMILY!

Take THAT The Office! Sorry, Glee.

Geez, that show cleaned up tonight! It is quite funny.

Well, it’s 10:59 and the show is over! A minute under schedule!

It was a little boring, no wardrobe malfunctions (one came close), and nobody fell or tripped, but I think that Fallon did a good job and that it was very funny.

I have to go to bed now. Gotta be at school at 8:30!

Oh, did I mention, I got a job at a better school!

YAY!

Love,
Crystal

2 Comments

2 Comments

  1. Jay Williams

    August 30, 2010 at 2:59 pm

    I enjoyed your "Showgirls" snap. Also, unless it's a four-finger ring, jewelry shouldn't cross your fist…unless it's rhinestone-encrusted brass knuckles.

    Didn't know people actually watched "The Closer." I think I have a personal bias against shows that have "The (insert singular noun here)" as their titles.

    Great rant as usual.

  2. Stephanie

    August 31, 2010 at 1:42 am

    Good stuff, I don't watch these award shows at all bc I can now I can get your recap. Love the Jim Carroll song reference, LOL

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