So once again the New York Comic Con has come to the fair city, bringing with it the smell of old comic books mingling with body odor.
Conventions are awesome, aren’t they?
We can revel in our geek love with like-minded freaks and meet the celebrities that we watch every week defending the earth against vampires.
But conventions can also be overwhelming, both with the size and number of events, that most con-virgins burn out after the first day.
So how can you make sure to maximize your experience and still come home without passing out in your bed?
Not to worry my fellow geeks, I have compiled an essential How-To Guide that will teach you all the ins and outs of convention attending.
Rule #1
Prepare Your Essential Gear:
Like Batman you will need your gear to survive such a massive event.
First up is the most important item, a back pack. This is a must. The great thing about Cons is all the free stuff thrown at you. From previews of upcoming comics to T-Shirts of the newest Hollywood blockbuster, it will stack up fast and if you don’t carry a bag you will wind up throwing most of it away or worse losing it (personally I prefer shoulder bags, it distributes the weight and I don’t have to worry about knocking someone out when I turn my back).
You should also stock up on water and snacks beforehand. Yes there is food there but do you really want to spend 5 bucks on a bottled water? Or sell your soul for a pretzel? You will be doing a lot of walking around so you should keep yourself hydrated and well fed. I suggest having a decent breakfast before you hit the con as this will keep you fed for most of the day.
Rule #2
Prepare Your Battle Plan:
The problem with conventions is that everything goes at breakneck speed. The minute one panel ends, another begins on the other side of the building (and don’t forget, that while you are dashing from one panel to the next, your favorite comic artist doing a signing upstairs AT THE EXACT SAME TIME).
If you don’t plan carefully you will be driving yourself crazy. This is why it is important to know the what, where, and when of the Con.
First, go to the convention website and look up all the panels and events. Then, begin to map out your strategy. This involves making some hard choices since there are so many panels that conflict with one another.
For instance, The Robot Chicken crew is doing a panel at the same time that Stan Lee is doing a Q&A with fans. Both are panels you want to attend, but only one is going to make the cut. If you plan ahead you don’t have to think about it once you are there and can simply enjoy yourself. And, speaking of panels, you should also have back up events planned just in case panels get canceled at the last minute or they turn out to be a dud.
Be sure to schedule some free time between panels to walk the floor and check out the merchandise. This is a major reason why you came in the first place (if you’re smart you should set a budget before you go and take out that amount of cash from your bank, there is no worse feeling in the world than knowing that you have spent all your cash in an hour and now you have to stand in a gigantic line to use the ATM and pay a 5 dollar transaction fee).
A word about the bathrooms, if you can make it through the day without hitting one of these bio-hazards then more power to you. As the convention progresses they become worse than you can imagine and, if you can no longer hold it, just do your best to not breathe.
Finally, be sure to get enough sleep the night before, Con’s will drain you to the point of hospitalized-worthy exhaustion and the better rested you are, the more likely you will enjoy yourself.
Rule #3
Carry Light:
Even though your favorite artist will be sitting mere inches from you, don’t bring your entire comic collection for them to sign. Not only will you wind up hurting your back by carrying it up the stairs to the creator signing, you will piss off everyone in line behind you. Most artists have a cap on the number of things you can get signed, so bring one or two books that are your favorite.
If you plan on getting any large collectibles like statues, toys or swords, leave it for the end of the day so you don’t have to lug it around the whole day risking damage to both it and yourself.
Rule #4
Dress For The Occasion:
Since you will be walking more than you do in a month, its very important to dress comfortably.
That means shoes and clothing need to fit and don’t cut off your circulation. You might think that your Spider-Man jumpsuit is comfy now but when it’s stained in sweat you’ll be wishing you wore something more comfortable (if you do plan on dressing up then have someone else carry a change of clothes in case you get tired of your extremely public camel-toe).
Keep in mind that inside the convention will be much warmer than outside, because there is so much body heat being radiated by the crowds, so leave any heavy jackets or coats at home.
It goes without saying, but be sure to bathe well and put on deodorant. You will be sweating up a storm and you don’t want to add to the stink of the room.
You should also carry around a hand sanitizer. Since you will wind up shaking hands with celebrities, editors and fellow geeks, there’s a good chance that you will be touching someone else’s snot or worse. Remember your favorite celebs have been shaking hands with thousands of people, some of which probably don’t have the best of hygiene.
Rule #5
Don’t be THAT Guy:
There is always the risk of drama when you have so many people in an enclosed space. So some folks will be at their wits end and may be a little snappy. The enjoyment of your day depends on having a positive outlook and not feeding negative emotions. So if you are showing your portfolio to an editor and he is blunt in how much you’re art sucks, bite your tongue. You don’t want to stand out as the jerk who cant take criticism. This can be toxic to any hopes of having a career in the comic or entertainment industry.
Also, mind your manners! Here are a list of don’ts:
Do not follow writers or artists to the bathroom because you have questions about their work.
Don’t walk up to a celebrity and start to talk when they are clearly on their cell phone.
Don’t creep out the booth babes by just staring at them for long periods of time or worse, asking weird or inappropriate questions?
Don’t go up in a Q&A of a director and state that you think he sucks and has ruined your favorite comic character.
Don’t approach editors with your scripts while they are eating or having a conversation with someone.
Don’t bring bizarre gifts to the celebrities in order to stand out from the crowd.
Don’t stalk Stan Lee, repeat, Do not stalk Stan Lee.
Don’t “correct” geeks on their opinions while standing in line.
Don’t demand free sketches from the folks in the artist alley.
Don’t stand at a booth for 40 minutes talking to an actor and preventing other fans from meeting him.
Do, however, be nice to the volunteers, they work really hard and without them there wouldn’t be a convention in the first place.
Rule #6
There is no Shame in Haggling:
Its great having so many retailers in one place. It gives us the opportunity at finding new merchandise we never knew existed. This also means that many retailers will be competing with each other and that’s great news, because it will give you the opportunity to get a decent deal for those Thundercats comics you wanted so badly. Don’t be afraid to throw a lower price at retailers. What’s the worst that can happen? They say no? My suggestion is to wait to do your shopping till the last day. Retailers hate carrying their inventory to their cars or vans, so they slash their prices to make the trip back home a little bit lighter.
This is when you can get the best deals. Don’t be afraid to walk away. That comic you want will always be available to you with a quick Google search.
So now that you have learned the basic rules of attending conventions be sure to have fun!
I look forward to seeing all of you this weekend.
So what are you waiting for? Get out there and get your geek on!
