There are many ways to lose weight in the world. You can go for a walk, lift some weights, swim, or even occasionally hoist your fat ass off the couch and maneuver yourself from one room to the next in order to get your heart racing from the rush of being vertical.
And, of course, there are the videos.
Like the ones starring former sitcom stars working out to pop music in crop tops and bicycle shorts (the Alyssa Milano’s Teen Steam) or, how to help suburban moms lose weight AND work the pole (Carmen Electra’s Aerobic Striptease).
But my favorite workout video is by a guy named Shiny Cyriades who created an exercise program specifically for Cosplayers who need to get into shape for a Con and filmed in his “dojo”.
Now, I don’t want to give anything away but you do need to prepare yourself for a few facts:
1. He isn’t in costume.
2. You must have access to a building where you can do chin-ups outside near the street.
3. Apparently an off-shoot of the crab walk is necessary to weight-loss.
4. The “dojo” looks like a creepy “molester” basement.
and 5. None of this has anything to do with Cosplay except that Shiny Cyriades kinda looks like he might dress up like Thor on a weekend.
While the exercises are borderline retarded (3 reps dude? Really?) and potentially dangerous (Hey, it’s perfectly okay to lie on the floor while lifting weights with no spotters and no one around if you hurt yourself), it is always fun to watch a grown man in acid wash jeans attempt one-armed push-ups.
So, next time you are angling to shimmy yourself into that Spider-Man uni-tard, might I suggest checking out Working Out For Cosplay With Cyriades, I’m not saying it’ll help you lose weight but it might make you feel better about yourself knowing you aren’t this guy.
And just for shits and giggles (as well as to re-ignite some lost lust for the teenage Ms. Milano):