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Let me be honest with you for a moment. I can’t dance. Sure, I would love to occasionally find the beat and keep up with it, but that is never going to happen.

Unlike Shakira, my hips not only lie, they are downright pontificators of the Untruth (meaning that they have been unable to shake convincingly to a song since I first noticed my ability to walk when I was 15mos old).

This saddens me.

But nothing it seems can depress me more than watching a marionette shake its groove thang in a way that is not only far more impressive than what I could only dream of accomplishing, it does it in a way that is sexier.

Yes, a puppet dances sexier than I ever could.

And that my friends, is the saddest statement one could ever write.

Video after the break.

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