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SEE DICK SUCK…Dick and Jane Discover Vampires

If I’m not mistaken I believe that I am, perhaps, the last generation to use the Dick and Jane books as an introduction to the wonderful world of reading in school (I would hope so as those books were so lame that even an illiterate five-year old loathed them).

But seeing that a new chapter in the lives of Dick and Jane includes Vampires, well, maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to start the young ‘uns off on a reading adventure that includes disemboweling that rascal Dick since he is, after-all a jackass.

Then again, Dick and Jane were kind of boring kids and if the story style remains as it always was then there’s a good chance that even a vampire couldn’t make it interesting (and judging from the illustration below, a jump-roping Vamp is pushing it into dullsville).

I guess since we are talking about young children here we don’t want their beginning readers to be too horrific, but let’s see what’s in store for Dick and Jane in the Table of Contents:

Ahh…yes, there is a Run and Hide chapter. Good, at least we are on the right track here, I mean if there was, say, an illustration of the soulless beast who lives off the blood of children working at the local grocery store I would say that the Vamp image had truly Jumped the Shark….um, wait a minute…


Well, it’ll probably make more sense than Twilight right?

Maybe not.

If you are so inclined to purchase the book click HERE.

Happy reading.

Source: Badder Homes and Gardens

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