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WE ARE NOT COOL: Real Geeks v. Hipster Geeks

There’s something really wrong here.

 I watched Felicia Day’s new video, I’m the One That’s Cool, which I suppose was created to be geek-positive and make me feel all good inside over the fact that I spend most of my time watching Ice Pirates, but it didn’t.

Instead it pissed me off.

Look, I get that comics and sci-fi and all the other things that got my ass kicked in Junior High are now cool (thanks to technology and Marvel’s pact with the Devil to change all my favorite superheroes’ character arcs) but there’s something pretty evil about the fact that the very things that I was made fun of for loving are now available as trendy wallets at Hot Topic.

Being someone that eschewed flicks like Dirty Dancing in favor of sneaking into the late show of Amazon Women on the Moon or stayed up all night to play Castlevania did not make me popular or hip, it made me an outcast that was tormented and sad.

And, the fact that I had a tricked out Apple IIe did not get me laid at all despite it being an Apple product.

But I digress, back to the video and why I hate it.

First of all, the message of I’m the One That’s Cool is supposed to pertain to the fact that we geeks are now running the universe and all the people that hurt us in high school are ass hats (and are properly called out for it by a beautiful woman…You really showed them Ms. Day!), which would be great, except for the fact that Felicia and her popular ilk are not Geeks, they’re Hipsters who have a small grasp on the various Sci-fi/Fantasy/Comics/Role-Playing activities that are popular right now.

There’s a big difference between what kids who lived through the seventies and eighties with no access to the Internet had to deal with and what Hipsters imagine that geekiness actually entails.

Which is (in an entirely truncated way):

Real geeks/nerds/dorks know that the X-men comics started to suck after issue #200 and not because of the movies, that while we like Dr. Who just fine, there’s a part of us that still likes Red Dwarf more, and that while we might be productive members of society with bank accounts and sex lives now, we are always up for a rousing game of D and D with fellow travelers on a Saturday (and not once does any one drink Pabst because it’s cool…we drink it because it is the only beer left in the fridge).

So yes, although I appreciate the fact that I can wear the Preacher T-shirt that I made way back in 1998 to celebrate my crush on Garth Ennis (writer and creator) without someone calling me a dork-cunt (yes, I have been called that), at 38 I am still that weird girl who watched a VHS copy of Star Wars every afternoon after school so that I could recite every line verbatim for no other reason than because I wanted to (virtually guaranteeing me a teen life filled with pillow practice kissing).

And I am happy for it.

While the Geek It Girls like Felicia sing about a faux dork world and pretend that they are awesome now in spite of never having lived through a swirly at thirteen for carrying around a velvet bag of multi-sided dice, the real Geeks need to remind said Hipster Geeks that when it comes to Holy Nerdom, we don’t need outside approval for our weird obsessions (or a pre-shrunk destructed t-shirt of a Mooba) , all we need is each other.

And, perhaps a pristine Atari 2600 in its original box.

Now that would be sweet.



  1. Buggrititeltem

    April 20, 2012 at 7:07 pm

    I have an Atari 2600 in its original box lurking in the bottom of my wardrobe!
    (and I think I just fell in love with you!)

  2. Stereo Goliath

    April 20, 2012 at 7:20 pm

    FULLY AGREE! Been saying that for quite some time that these 'New Geeks' don't get it, never will, and frankly would happily reject the true geek / nerd.

    Well Said Elizabeth

  3. Blossom

    April 21, 2012 at 10:21 am

    So much for sexlife.. or lack off!! i thinks that's the only geek thingy that i retained ha ha ha The Geek Slut

  4. tongueofdogsbreakfast

    April 22, 2012 at 3:18 pm

    Don't be so quick to belittle kids who were harassed & cyber-bullied because, what, they were too young to be "old school"-bullied in the 70s & 80s?!?! What, like we had it worse (I'm a child of the 70s, young adult of the 80s) because we didn't have the INTERNET??? Actually, it must be a lot worse *today* because at least WE weren't subjected to "I HATE ERMA FRICKELSCHNITZ BECAUSE SHE'S A BIG FAT LOSER WHO STINKS" with 1,732 likes, or emails passed around detailing all of Erma's many faults and oh-so-helpfully shared with her so she may learn from them and embark upon a clearly well-needed self-improvement program, starting with her 'stoopid' hair and her 'retardid' shoes.

    I guess that's why kids are actually committing suicide or blowing away their jockhead classmates now, neither of which EVER happened in my day.

    Get over yourselves,"oldsters." Chances are you had it easy with the eighth-grade swirlies and smirks from cheerleaders after the once-over twice.

    Remember, you can afford to be hipper-than-thou because you have 20 or 30 years of geekness on the "hipsters".

  5. Elizabeth Young

    April 23, 2012 at 11:38 am

    Hey tongueofdogsbreakfast, the post I wrote has nothing to do with bullying at all (which is something that I am completely opposed to).

    The piece is focused solely on the media's propaganda machine that propels the belief that Hipster Geek reflects Real Geekdom (which it does not) and takes away from the horror of what it was really like to grow up during a time when the Internet did not exist (especially when it was hard trying to remember who was in the complete cast of "Misfits of Science" without the help of Wikipedia)and the only community of like-minded members could be found in comic book or hobby shops.

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