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AMAZON REVIEW OF THE WEEK: Bic Cristal Pens “For Women” (Not Made From the Ink of Menstrual Blood)


For whatever reason the Bic people decided to release a collection of glittery covered pens for women (which I assume were created by a dick-centeric ad agency who think that all chicks want to do is share feelings with one another before pillow-fighting and practicing french kissing) and put them out on the market as an impulse buy for hormonal ladies.

Since I’m pretty sure no women were actually part of the meetings involved in marketing this ridiculous product, the reviews of said pens pretty much sum up the feelings of women who bought (or are mocking) Bic’s stupid pens:

 I am writing this in the kitchen., August 15, 2012 By breemeup – See all my reviews
This review is from: BIC Cristal For Her Ball Pen, 1.0mm, Black, 16ct (MSLP16-Blk) (Office Product)

 

Finally! For years I’ve had to rely on pencils, or at worst, a twig and some drops of my feminine blood to write down recipes (the only thing a lady should be writing ever). I had despaired of ever being able to write down said recipes in a permanent matter, though my men-folk assured me that I “shouldn’t worry yer pretty little head”. But, AT LAST! Bic, the great liberator, has released a womanly pen that my gentle baby hands can use without fear of unlady-like callouses and bruises. Thank you, Bic!

 

Simply splendid!!, August 27, 2012 By HappySuzyQ – See all my reviews
This review is from: BIC Cristal For Her Ball Pen, 1.0mm, Black, 16ct (MSLP16-Blk) (Office Product) 

Ever since the beginning of time the world has been biased to men. UNTIL TODAY THAT IS!!! BIC pen for women has revolutionized not only an industry but nations and the entire world. 

Little known fact: the BIC pen for women made the trip to Mars possible. This amazing pen even prevents pregnancy in instances of true rape*. My friend used a BIC pen for women to cure her breast cancer!!! Ever since using this pen Justin Beiber has been calling me every day and the pope has asked me for advice.

The pen is effective at preventing rape when used along with martial arts training and a weapon. 

This pen should not be used by men who are nursing, pregnant, or may become pregnant. If you notice a horn growing out of your forehead seek immediate medical attention.

 

Sprained Uterus, August 28, 2012 By Adrienne (New Mexico) – See all my reviews
This review is from: BIC Cristal For Her Ball Pen, 1.0mm, Black, 16ct (MSLP16-Blk) (Office Product)

 

I bought these pens for my wife. I assumed they would be safe for her since they are specifically for ladies but she used these for no more than two days before she sprained her uterus.

And my personal favorite:

HULK HATE PUNY PEN, August 26, 2012 By Brittany – See all my reviews
This review is from: BIC Cristal For Her Ball Pen, 1.0mm, Black, 16ct (MSLP16-Blk) (Office Product)

 

HULK NEED PEN WRITE NOTE 

HULK ONLY FIND BIC FOR HER 

HULK SMASH PEN 

HULK SAD 

HULK DEMAND BIC FOR HIM

Well done Bic, you’ve truly cornered the market for HER.

Source: Super Punch

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