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THE SHAM WOW GUY MAKES A MOVIE And It Stars People You Would Think Had Other Options…And Lindsey Lohan

Adrien Brody, Lindsey Lohan, Michelle Rodriguez, Rob Schnieder, ShamWow

Infomercial star and prostitute puncher, Vince Offer, has made a movie that is pretty much about white people being racist and homophobic while passing it off as a comedy starring Adrien Brody (?), Michelle Rodriguez, Rob Schneider and Lindsey Lohan.

 (I feel like this is a cast list inspired by a nightmare I had once)

 Filled with bad jokes about Black guys with big dicks, bad Asian drivers, luring African-Americans on a boat headed to Africa with a bucket of fried chicken, changing Clint Eastwood’s famous Dirty Harry line “Go ahead, Make my day” to “Go ahead, Make me Gay” and general dialog inspired by everyone’s stupid twelve-year-old brother, this is a movie that only a man who has obviously done crystal meth and got his ass kicked by a street walker could come up with.

Vince Offer, Shamwow

I never thought I would ever say this in my life, but after seeing the Red-Band trailer (below) I think that I should apologize to everyone I kicked out of my house who expressed their enjoyment of the Scary Movie franchise. I thought you were pathetic people who had no sense of humor and I’m sorry. I had no idea that comedy could get any lower.

 Please accept my humble apologies and may my offering of beer be enough to soothe the wounds I inflicted upon you with my snobbery.

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