Connect with us

Hi, what are you looking for?

General

AND THIS IS WHY I Choose To Have A Barren Womb

My husband and I are at a crossroads, at almost 39 do I attempt to procreate or do I let that ship pass by in the sea and instead concentrate on my true love, watching Netflix?

It’s a quandary.

One of the big reasons I do not want to have a hellspawn popping out of my nether region is because there’s a good chance that they will want to be involved with school musical productions when they get older and I will have to attend them…sober.

And if not wanting to support my demon seed’s dream of singing off-key on a poorly lit stage while I am forced to capture the footage on an iPhone makes me an asshole, so be it.

Look, I know that people say children are the greatest thing since Bud Light created the Margarita-in-a-can-Beer, but if I were the parent of the “Zach Attack” kid in the following video, I would probably have to attend a lot of these things and then spend my life wishing that someone would kill me in ways that ended my pain quickly.

And what kind of parent is that? I mean, I don’t even clean the litter box until the cat takes a shit in my shoes alerting me to the fact that her box s filled with clumps the size of Everest, and now, suddenly I have to make the decision whether or not to bring forth life?

ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGG!

Just watch the video and let me know if my copulation/procreation fears are just.




Source: Videogum

2 Comments

2 Comments

    Leave a Reply

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

    This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

    You May Also Like

    Event

    Who lives in a pineapple under the sea, but stopped by Boston Harbor on his national tour? SpongeBob SquarePants, that’s who. The Nickelodeon favorite-turned-Tony-nominee...

    Books

    The new book, The Show Won’t Go On, is the first comprehensive study of a bizarre phenomenon: performers who died onstage.  Written by Jeff...

    Music

    Get’cha head in the game, Disney fans. There’s a must-have, limited-edition vinyl record release from Walt Disney Records now available for a limited time....

    Columns/Features

    On Monday, my legs were shot. Like, no energy in them at all when I walked, or moved them in any way. Stuck in...