Connect with us

Hi, what are you looking for?

General

IF YOU SUFFER From Hyper Involuntary Panic Stress Tension Elevation Response (HIPSTER) Ask Your Doctor About Unpretentiousil…It’ll Help

Look, I just want to talk. I know how difficult it is for you to ask for help but we’ve all seen your cabinets filled with artisanal pickles that cost more than your cable bill as well as your abnormal attraction to faux 80s t-shirts and seriously, it has to stop.

I know you feel like you are making a statement about how individualistic you are by sporting glasses you bought at Anthropologie and wearing filmy scarves underneath a Hanes V-neck tee but honey, your individuality is becoming, well…more like group-think.

Wearing false mustaches, going to Mumford and Sons concerts and drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon does not make you a member of the Cool Club, it makes you a Hipster. I’m sorry but it’s true, but now there’s something you can take that will help you deal with that chemical imbalance in you brain that makes you utter stuff like “I think Charles in Charge was a definitive statement on the male caregiver gender role that was prevalent during the mid-80s” out loud.

And that thing is Unpretentiousil.

So please, for the love of Chewbacca, make an appointment with your doctor and ask about it.

We all would like the real you back…you know, before you started playing the ukulele.



Source: Forever Geek

Click to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

You May Also Like

Columns/Features

Friend of the site, Matt Haley, directed this incredibly entertaining retro science fiction pilot, Blackstar Warrior, which is now being distributed online by Dust....

Books/Comics

Stinker Lets Loose! is a specific work: a parody of the mass market novelizations, published in the 1970s, of popular movies. Those of a...

Books

What do John McClane, Beatrix Kiddo, and John Rambo have in common? Besides being big-screen badasses, these Hollywood action heroes shrug off bullets like...

Books

Toybox Time Machine: A Catalog of the Coolest Toys Never Made Written and Illustrated by Marty Baumann Introduction by Byron Howard Foreword by Jim...

%d bloggers like this: