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IF YOU SUFFER From Hyper Involuntary Panic Stress Tension Elevation Response (HIPSTER) Ask Your Doctor About Unpretentiousil…It’ll Help

Look, I just want to talk. I know how difficult it is for you to ask for help but we’ve all seen your cabinets filled with artisanal pickles that cost more than your cable bill as well as your abnormal attraction to faux 80s t-shirts and seriously, it has to stop.

I know you feel like you are making a statement about how individualistic you are by sporting glasses you bought at Anthropologie and wearing filmy scarves underneath a Hanes V-neck tee but honey, your individuality is becoming, well…more like group-think.

Wearing false mustaches, going to Mumford and Sons concerts and drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon does not make you a member of the Cool Club, it makes you a Hipster. I’m sorry but it’s true, but now there’s something you can take that will help you deal with that chemical imbalance in you brain that makes you utter stuff like “I think Charles in Charge was a definitive statement on the male caregiver gender role that was prevalent during the mid-80s” out loud.

And that thing is Unpretentiousil.

So please, for the love of Chewbacca, make an appointment with your doctor and ask about it.

We all would like the real you back…you know, before you started playing the ukulele.

Source: Forever Geek

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