|By PJ Hruschak|
I attended a sneak preview of the latest super hero movie – and spiritual sequel to Marvel’s The Avengers – Tuesday night (April 30, 2013) at a local theater.
Now I realize there is already a review of Iron Man 3 on the site and another tomorrow, but there are people in the world who do not want to know too much about a movie.
And, yet, they go online and read about it (we are such a fickle race).
So here’s my humble solution: A spoiler-free, bullet-point preview that offers slightly enigmatic, purposefully and partially vague point-on observations, hints and teases. And I like to make puns.
Iron Man 3 will be released May 3, 2013 (oddly enough, the day before Free Comic Book Day), in the US. The movie is directed by Shane Black and stars Robert Downey, Jr. (Tony Stark), Gwyneth Paltrow (Pepper Potts), Don Cheadle (Col. James Rhodes), Ben Kingsley (The Mandarin), Guy Pearce (Alridch Killian) and Paul Bettany (as the voice or Jarvis).
Feel free to add your own bullet points to the Comments section.
- Stark, Tony Stark. Super rich bajillionaire. And Iron Man.
- It’s a Christmas movie! “Dashing through the snow…”
- Tony gets his groove on.
- He can fly! Hey can fly! (And so can his hands and his ankles and his face and his stomach and his…)
- Ghandi, why are you such a terrorist? WHY!?
- Kiss my mouth slit.
- So red. And so red, white and blue.
- Nice Christmas story, er, movie, reference.
- Sorry, your terrorist is in another castle!
- Nods to X-Men and the Watchmen movies? Mm, could be? (You tell me.)
- Pepper Potts, comic book super hero’s girlfriend extraordinaire. (So you know what that means…)
- Need a suit? Everyone should wear a suit.
- It’s a mystery wrapped inside an enigma.
- Never diss an uber-nerd with ambition.
- Two, two supervillains for the price of one.
- Those bad guys and gals are so hot. Get it? Hyuck hyuck.
- Oh, so you can spit fire?
- Turtle soup? Uh, no thanks
- Tony so punny. And sarcastic. Don’t be like him. OK, just kinda. Stay in school, kids!
- Need a jump, again!?
- No daddy issues here. OK, maybe a little.
- What happens in New York seems to stay everywhere.
- Acting! Thank you, thank you very much.
- Tony has the biggest closet ever. Ever.
- See The Avengers for reference sake: Not the British one with tight-fitting outfits, the Marvel one with tight-fitting outfits. But you’ll be OK if you don’t. Pretty much. Oh, see it anyway. Hulk smash!
- Very kid-friendly. Not the movie, silly. Tony Stark. (I know, crazy, huh?)
- Nerd fight! Nerd fight!
- A bit of The Dark Knight Rises with a touch of Tony.
- Fan of the comics? Wanna see your favorite Iron Man suit? Oh, you will.
- Guest appearance? Yes. well, kinda sorta.
- Stay through the credits. Even if they are a bit Charlie’s Angels-esque. (Hey, I thought I saw that house like that somewhere before…)
- He’s not that kind of doctor.