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COME AND RIDE THE CRIMSON TIDE: ‘Cause Your Period Just Got Awesome

For years advertising and periods were symbiotic with blue liquid gel being poured onto pads the size of Buicks, chicks running through fields of flowers and disregarding just how crazy your bleeding maw really is for a week.

In fact, commercials for period protection made me think there was something wrong with my body. I mean, how could I not feel like that when no one in those flowing white dresses dancing around on a beach was covered in sweat and in the fetal position praying for sweet, sweet death because their cramps were so horrible.

Or having to deal with diarrhea, headaches, six pounds of water weight every month or going bat-shit insane (I once tried to drop out of high school and join the Navy…the fucking Navy!).

But now, thanks to an incredibly awesome company called HelloFlo (which helps girls deal with their first and following periods via a delivery plan that will keep them stocked in tampons, liners and fucking CANDY every month) and their incredibly accurate account of periods as shown in the following commercial, a new generation of chicks might be able to forgo all the advertising bullshit and embrace their bleeding vaginas once-and-for-all!

It’s a glorious day I tell you.

I can’t wait for my period now (well, I can but I’m old enough to know where to score pot brownies so I’m doing just fine).

Commercial after the break.

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