Look, I get that you want your children to have EVERYTHING that you did not. Like easily accessible pornography and all the Ring Dings they can eat, I hear you. But there comes a point in every child’s life when they should probably learn a valuable lesson about humility and what it means to be a good and compassionate human being, and I don’t think that lesson has same impact while your kid IS SLEEPING ON A $33,600 BED.
Seriously, your kid is farting under the covers of a bed that costs more than my car….a car that has over 200,000 miles on it, is 12 years old and which I hope and pray makes it through the Winter…because I’m too broke to buy a new one.
As you can see from the above pictures, the Gilded Bedroom Coach is specifically created to make grown ass women feel like they somehow made a poor vocational choice, while your child (who doesn’t even know that the Tooth Fairy is really you) gets to sleep underneath picturesque arches of a princess carriage.
And judging from a couple of those picture angles, it appears that your child also happens to live in a FREAKING CASTLE!
Well, that’s not going to come back and bite you on the ass when your kid becomes a teenager will it, fuck-face?
God, I hate my life…I hate this bed…and I hate your kid.