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2013 Holiday Gift Guide:
Crazy, Extravagant and Expensive

Let’s play “If I Won the Lottery” and take a look at some of the most
incredible (and a few wildly expensive) geek gifts that your heart
would require if money were no object…followed by the crushing despair
of real life when you realize you never can.

It’ll be fun!

Monster Skin Rug

If you’ve ever dreamed of laying naked upon the pelt of a gutted monster than this might be what you are looking for…psychopath.

Handmade from wool felt and polymer clay and available in off-white or grey, this rug will look superb next to a roaring fire that is filled with the bones of your enemies.

Cost: $2500

DTV Shredder

DTV Shredder (or Dual Tracked Vehicle) redefines ‘off-road’ by transforming the outdoors into your personal playground. The all-mechanical design, powerful engine and aggressive tank tracks allows for high-speed travel on any terrain, in any season. While the ground-breaking vehicle demands the attention of adrenaline junkies worldwide, it also doubles as a rugged, multi-application workhorse for law enforcement, military, hunting, farming and other industries.

Cost: $4500

The Emperor 5150 Computer Work Environment

With the signature Emperor scorpion shape and outline, a highly stable steel structure, tilting capabilities, integrated audio system, LED lighting and much more, the Emperor 1510 is the future of high-end home and office computer work environments. The Emperor offers functionalities that enable the user to experience unprecedented comfort and quasi total immersion through strategically positioned monitors, audio system and accessories. The result is a complete computer office, ergonomically optimized, with a minimal footprint that improves overall performance and productivity.

Cost: $5950

 Rawlings® Baseball Heart of the Hide Glove Leather Chair

Looking for a perfect gift for the baseball fan in your life that will ruin all other gifts for them? How about getting them a custom leather glove seat that will no doubt win you massive “points” (as well as season tickets for life) and crush all other gift givers for years to come.

I know that’s what I look forward to when it comes to giving from the heart.

Cost: $6,399.95

The Giant Coffee Table Touchscreen Computer

Every damn thing is computerized so why shouldn’t your coffee table be as well?

This is the wooden coffee table that incorporates a fully functional Windows 8 computer with a 32″ touch screen. With a 178° viewing angle, it is ideal for viewing enlarged photos or maps, playing with an interactive Koi pond, or allowing multiple users to comfortably view the same data from the couch, the wooden table is topped with an antiglare LCD screen that functions like a tablet computer. The screen’s six touch points allow for easy navigation, its 1366 x 768 resolution provides a sharp image in any ambient lighting condition. The tempered-glass surface can hold books, dishes, remote controls, and its IP34 water rating makes it safe for everyday splashes and spills. The tablet has an Intel Core i5 3.2 GHz processor, 6 GB of memory, 500 GB hard drive, and is Wi-Fi- and Bluetooth-enabled. With four USB ports, as well as DVI, audio-out, and microphone ports. Includes wireless keyboard and mouse.

Cost: $7000

Zoltar

This is Zoltar, the classic animatronic fortune teller found in arcades, that stands 6 1/2′ tall, and augurs a spoken and printed fortune for you. Richly detailed with a handlebar mustache and beard, a gold head wrap, gold shirt, paisley vest, and jewelry, the bust of Zoltar stands in a solid wheeled cabinet of oak with birch veneers, finished in gold-and black-painted trim, and is surrounded by three panes of tempered glass. Zoltar acknowledges your presence and invites you to approach him. Once you insert a quarter (coins may be removed), Zoltar nods his head up and down as his crystal ball illuminates and he sweeps his hand back and forth. Zoltar provides 16 different spoken fortunes and dispenses one of 23 different printed fortunes in the form of a paper card; 2,000 fortune cards are included. The fortune is dispensed from the front of the cabinet.

Cost: $9000

Banana Pool Table

Hours, nay years of misspent youth getting to know every cushion, every pocket, every single angle of a regular game of pool, only for this gloriously fruity mash-up to appear on the scene.


Truly a show-stopping centrepiece beyond compare, we present to you the Banana Pool Table.

Handmade by British artist Cleon Daniel; using elegant hardwoods, fitted with solid brass pocket plates and only the very highest quality leathers, this curvaceous yellow beauty is guaranteed to surprise, amuse and entertain in equal measure.


A mind-bending pool playing experience for all involved, you can either purchase your own set of billiard balls or use the 1 white, 1 yellow and 10 brown balls provided to invent your very own game – whichever you choose there’s a handy ball storage area in the stem.


Don’t slip up on this ripe opportunity to purchase such an a-peeling and limited edition pool table.

Cost: $19,467

Tyrannosaurus Rex Garden Sculpture

This is yard art to end all yard art!

At 12′ x 8′ x 28′, this fiberglass replica of a Tyrannosaurus Rex may bring all your neighbor’s property value plummeting downward, but at least you will be protected from retaliation since everyone on the block will think you’re nuts.

Not a bad reason to spend a lot of dough.

Cost: $30,392

 The Porsche 917 Le Mans Raceway

This is the full-sized Porsche 917 replica that conceals a 1:32-scale working wooden slot car track faithful to the iconic Le Mans raceway. Painted in the same color scheme and #20 race number—an homage to the classic 1971 movie starring Steve McQueen—the 917 has genuine race-worn GT prototype tires on aluminum three-piece rims and working headlights and taillights. The precisely molded replica cowling opens like a clamshell at the touch of a button to reveal the track within. Resplendent in its handcrafted detail, the raceway is built with realistic landscaping and includes period signage illuminated by working streetlights: the Esso Oil Drop Man near the Ford chicane, the Marchal sign on the famous three-level grandstand over pit row, the Martini barn, and the unmistakable Dunlop “tire” bridge. Hand-detailed aluminum Armco guardrails with weathered wooden posts convey additional realism. Dual analog racing controllers provide precise control for the 12 included limited-edition slot cars, including the dominant racing models from 1970-1971, painted in authentic period livery: a Porsche 917, Ferrari 512 Coda Lunga, and Lola T70.

Cost: $125,000

Moller Skycar M400

Because roads are so last year…


Once private air travel was the exclusive preserve of the rich and famous. Sadly, it still is, unless you happen to have the lion’s share of half a million lying dormant in your bank account. The Skycar, though, has whipped the world into a collective frenzy with its vertical take off capability and vaguely enticing 380Mph top speed.


Unlike previous prototype Skycars, the M400 can comfortably seat four people, making a day trip to the south of France with your mates the equivalent of a two-hour blast down the motorway.


That’s when it goes on sale, of course, which isn’t just yet.

Cost: $525,596

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