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‘SCARY STORIES TO TELL IN THE DARK’ Is About to Become A Movie…All Your Childhood Nightmares Are About to Come True

If you grew up in the 80s there is no doubt that you spent many nights reading the horrifying tales contained within one of the most challenged series of books ever created, Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. While the nightmare-inducing stories (written by Alvin Schwartz) might have kept you up at night, it was Stephen Gammell’s illustrations that were most likely the catalyst for your bone shaking terror.

I mean look at this thing:

Are you telling me that at 7 years old, reading a story illustrated with pencil and ink drawings like this wouldn’t make you pee your pants a bit?

Not freaked out yet? Perhaps this one might do it for you:

This is from the story The Big Toe…creepy right?

Still not trembling?

Oh you haven’t even seen the worst yet:

Yeah, look deeply into the eye sockets of the above illustration, WHICH APPEARED IN A CHILDREN’S BOOK FOR CHRIST SAKE! That festering bit of nightmare fuel is from the story The Girl Who Stood on a Grave, and it was the one story that freaked me out the most.

But now in the best news I’ve heard in years, all of your favorite scary stories are about to become a movie.

That’s right, CBS Films recently acquired the rights to the book series and will be making a feature film version (which, if they were smart, would take a page out of Michael Dougherty’s Trick ‘r Treat playbook and make it into a series of connected vignettes). No word on who has been tapped to direct the flick (again you might want to look at Michael Dougherty), but I’m pretty sure that if all this comes to fruition in the next couple of years, the movie-going audience will be less kids and more late 30s/40 year olds.

‘Cause I’m pretty sure most of us would like to see just how fucked-up the live version of The Hearse Song would be:

Don’t you ever laugh as the hearse goes by, 
For you may be the next one to die. 
They wrap you up in a big white sheet 
From your head down to your feet. 
They put you in a big black box 
And cover you up with dirt and rocks. 
All goes well for about a week, 
Until your coffin begins to leak. 
The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out, 
The worms play pinochle in your snout, 
They eat your eyes, they eat your nose, 
They eat the jelly between your toes. 
A big green worm with rolling eyes 
Crawls in your stomach and out your eyes. 
Your stomach turns a slimy green, 
And pus pours out like whipping cream. 
You’ll spread it on a slice of bread, 
And this is what you eat when you are dead.

Wouldn’t you?

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