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PyroPet: When You Absolutely, Positively Want to Add A Bit of Horror To Your Romantic Life

Everyone knows that when you want to add a hint of romance to your love life, you light a scented candle, put on some Al Green and let your natural inclination toward hornines take its course. But, if you happen to be the kind of person who is filled with a need to set living things on fire in order to feel all tingly inside, perhaps the PyroPet candle might help take your ickiness down a notch.

You see, this soon-to-be manufactured bit of wonder will allow those of you who enjoy arson to set fire to something which will slowly melt away leaving an intact skeletal structure (like your victims) while at the same time keeping up the pretense that you are a normal human being who lights candles when the need for loving takes over your body parts.

Now, that’s what I call a compromise…

Before you scoff at a product that seems, well, a bit too creepy for well-adjusted people, you have to admit that the PyroPet is certainly cute (coming in two very romantic colors- pink and grey), will undoubtedly ignite the passion of both the psycho firebug and their unknowing sexual partner simply by illuminating the kill room with a golden glow of light that will soften the realization that people have been murdered there, and are cheap enough ($34) to be given as a token of love before the harsh reality of a fiery death will come to fruition.

A win-win if you ask me.

Pre-order yours NOW…and I promise I won’t tell anyone about your little issue.

Source: Red Ferret

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