Those of us who have loved ones with depression have to do everything we can to make sure that they don’t do that.
We have to do our best to make them feel loved and worthy of that love.
And we have to make sure that they want to get the help that they need.
This is a double feature of movies with very good portrayals of clinical depression.
THE WRONG MAN (1956)
Directed by Alfred Hitchcock
Written by Maxwell Anderson/Angus MacPhail
Manny (Henry Fonda) is just an ordinary guy who doesn’t make much money. He plays stand up bass in a jazz quartet and just barely makes ends meet for little family. When he goes to take a loan against his wife, Rose’s, insurance policy, he’s pointed out as a man who held the company up twice. The cops take him in and question him, saying that he’s a suspect in a string of robberies. Sadly, he can’t seem to prove that he didn’t do it.
But that’s not the really good part of this movie. I mean, it’s alright. It’s not the best of Hitch’s films, but it’s a good one.
What sets this film apart from many others is Rose. She falls apart under the strain of what Manny’s going through. He’s constantly called in by the cops or on the run or trying to figure out who is setting him up. It triggers an unexpected reaction from her. She closes up into herself. In the scene above, she’s been sitting up all night. Not waiting. Not sleeping. Just sitting up next to her bed. Not doing anything.
The scene is a frighteningly accurate portrayal of a person who is suddenly confronted with their disease. It seems melodramatic, but really the only thing that makes it so is the music towards the end. Maybe Miles’ quiet performance, but even that is pretty accurate.
Manny remains a very loving husband and does everything he can for Rose. He just can’t give up on her because he loves her, even if she can’t seem to feel that love.
MELANCHOLIA (2011)
Written and directed by Lars von Trier
Lars von Trier is a pretty divisive auteur.
You either love his rather pretentious work or you think he’s a horrible person who makes crappy “art” movies. I typically love his films in some way. Melancholia might be the one that hit me the most.
Justine (Kirsten Dunst) is a young bride who suffers from a deep depression. She seems to be ok for a while, but soon, as her wedding night goes on, she is consumed by the disease. At one point, she makes a very superficial connection with a young party goer, takes him out onto the golf course and has sex with him. She doesn’t mean to hurt her new husband, but she just needs to feel something right then. It doesn’t matter who it is, as long as he shows her some attention.
Justine’s sister, Claire (Charlotte Gainsbourg) is one of the few family members who will still put up with Justine. She and her husband, John (Kiefer Sutherland) paid for the wedding. When things come crashing down around their ears because of Justine’s indiscretion, they are understandably pissed.
The next day, they deal with the aftermath, but Justine is nearly catatonic. She can barely walk on her own and, when she eats her favorite meal, she start crying and says, “It tastes like ashes.”
Meanwhile, a giant planet is on its way to destroy the Earth. The planet is called Melancholia and it will consume everything. They’re actually not 100% sure that it will hit the Earth, but it just might. And then it will be all over for everyone.
Melancholia is an amazing film and a nearly perfect portrayal of how depression and anxiety (which very often go hand in hand) can take over everything in someone’s life. They don’t care about the consequences of their actions until after the fact. Then they take it out on themselves, thinking of what a horrible person they are, never quite able to realize that it’s the disease that’s making them do these things and feel the way they do.
These two films taken together show many different sides of depression and what it can do to the sufferers and their loved ones. It’s a horrible disease that, if not treated properly, can consume the lives of everyone around it.
Everybody gets depressed.
It’s a fact of life and there’s really nothing that you can do about it. But not everyone has Big D Depression.
That is the clinical version of what some of us get when we lose someone close to us or are just “in a funk.” People who have full-on clinical depression sometimes can’t get out of bed. They don’t think that they’re worth the life that they were given. They’re irritable. They look for any connection that they can get, even if it’s destructive. They ruin relationships and friendships because the feelings that the disease is giving them have to be coming from somewhere, right?
So they must be coming from these people that they love. Time to jettison them, right?
