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THROWBACK THURSDAY: Adventures In Telezonia…An Educational Film On How To Use The Rotary Telephone

That’s Right, Use Your Finger Bobby…All The Way Around…Now Pull It Out

If you ever had the thought, “I wonder where Pennywise the Clown was birthed from” Telezonia is it…I think it has to be where all nightmares are born and raised, for it is nothing short of terrifying. And the creators behind this horror show is none other than Ma Bell who decided that that the kids of 1946 were complete and utter tools who lacked the skills necessary to make a call (although, to be fair, Bobby- the kid who co-stars with the most frightening puppet ever created- would give infomercial actors a run for their money) and so the world of Telezonia was born.

Basically the plot is this: Weird marionette puppets get off on phone calls and, when one is made incorrectly, they appear to the perpetrator, kidnap them to a cloud world that looks like a plywood table surrounded by a curtain, and the proceed to educate said idiot on the intricacies of dialing a fucking phone.

You’d think that this educational film would be about, what? Five minutes right? Well, multiple that by 3 and add another three minutes…the hell?

Look, as a member of the last generation who grew up with rotary phones I feel comfortable in saying that they weren’t that hard to use. Sure, whenever someone had a zero in their phone number they were inevitably de-friended (only old people will understand that) but the mechanics of dialing weren’t that difficult…and it sure as hell doesn’t require an 18-minute long tutorial by a frightmare puppet who gets upset when you ask him who he is when he appears out of thin air (actual dialog, Bobby: Who Are You? Handy (yes, the puppet’s name is Handy): Take it easy fella…).

Yep, people back then had a lot more time and money to make shitastic films about things a four year-old is capable of doing.

So sit back and enjoy the tale of HOW TO DIAL A PHONE…It is simply breathtaking (and by breathtaking I mean WTF).

Video after the break.




Source: Dangerous Minds

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