|Review by Benn Robbins|
I feel like this summer’s crop of remakes and sequels, deserve an actual name.
Let’s call them remakequels, shall we?
This crop of remakequels this summer are not what the moviegoing audience asked for, but they are what we deserve.
They are the logical evolution and endgame for Hollywood as a whole and I don’t see them stopping anytime soon.
Since audiences weren’t demanding, or more importantly interested in sub-par remakequels, Hollywood assumed this was an mistake and moved forward greenlighting any intellectual property that might have a potential audience.
And I have this itching suspicion that the current executives in charge are part of my generation; they remember when movies were great.
They remember when the Spielberg’s and Zemeckis’ and Lucas’ and the Cameron’s of the industry were bringing us such enjoyment and pleasure every summer and they LOVED those films, too.
Like you and I, they devoured them up.
Unfortunately they are now in charge and want those movies made whether they should be or not and so we are getting what I am deeming as the last spastic throws of a floundering industry not quite sure how to reinvent itself… so they don’t.
They just rehash and feed off the nostalgia of the movie going audiences.
Right now, we have an entire generation of nostalgic filmmakers who grew up on films made by guys who grew up on films made by guys who just made films. They weren’t “taught”; they just learned by making movies, the old fashion way.
Welcome to the third age of film makers.
For the very first time we have a pure generation of filmmakers who learned to make films, not in the real world of making films with other filmmakers but were “taught” how to make films in schools and classrooms by people who may or may not have learned how to make films before they taught how films are made.
But they have passion.
And really passion is all you need.
That and a ridiculously huge budget.
And a nostalgia starved studio head.
If you have seen Jurassic World, you know what I am talking about.
That movie was ridiculous. Not like bad, ridiculous but ridiculous like dinosaur whisperer meets Sharknado ridiculous. Wholly entertaining and the the most stupid film you have ever seen.
We have come a full 180 degrees from so bad its is good, to so good it is horrendous, to so horrendous it is sublime. If you came out of Jurassic World and thought,” That movie was the stupidest film I have ever watched” and you would go see it again then you know what I am talking about.
Well then welcome to Terminator Genisys.
This new Hollywood doesn’t care. It has taken the playbook and set it on fire, threw it up in the air and shot it with a rocket launcher, all while driving a $200,000 sports SUV.
Terminator Genisys is like a Make-a-Wish Foundation dream come true.
Like some dying kid ’s last wish was that there was a new Terminator film that not only has like 6 different terminators in it but EVEN MORE time travel that included the first 20 minutes of the original Terminator movie reshot scene for scene but add that cool liquid metal one from T2 as well.
Also pack in it, Doctor Who and the Stargate looking thing from Big Hero 6. Add a 12-year old looking Khaleesi (Emilia Clarke), that dude from Zero Dark Thirty (Jason Clarke) and that other guy from Spartacus (Jai Courtney) and of course “I’ll be back” himself, Arnold.
It will be like printing money.
And It probably will be.
What Hollywood has learned from years of remake and sequel flops is that no one wants the film they love negated AND they don’t really want to see a sub par continuation of a franchise so they have, much like the Abominable Rex, or what ever they called it in JW, created the remakequel.
Give ‘em all the shit they loved about the first film without nullifying its importance to the audience, in fact you celebrate it like “HEY! WE REMEMBER HOW AWESOME IT WAS TOO! JUST LIKE YOU!” but then WHAM! You hit em with a new story revolving around the original story and like fish to a shiny lure, before they know what happened they are hooked.
I have no doubt that you will be entertained by Terminator Genisys.
I was. I was completely enthralled with it in all it’s stupidity and nostalgic bullshit. I also recognize that this film is a piece of unapologetic garbage. It is like that little bit of burned skin on the roof of your mouth after diving into a freshly cooked pizza. It hurts. You keep tonguing it. You know it hurts. You keep doing it. You don’t care.
Terminator Genisys is the burned roof of your mouth. No matter how much you know it sucks to play with it. You just can’t stop.
Go see it. Tell me I am wrong.
Remakequel. You heard it here first.