|By Erin Maxwell|
February is a bit of a lackluster month for the streaming giant, as audiences are forced to say goodbye to Doctor Who and all of the Pokemon ever created in exchange for a handful of mediocre titles from the early 2000s.
On the bright side, Netflix is started to come out of the gate with its amped up slate of original programming, including Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon: Sword of Destiny and original comedy specials.
Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck save the world from a giant asteroid in this 1998 actioner, a time when this sentence didn’t seem as ridiculous. Proof of that lies in the TWO asteroid movies that were available at the time. But only one had an Aerosmith ballad. (Hint: It was this one.)
Better Call Saul (Season 1)
The rest of the world has finally caught up with the genius that is Bob Odenkirk. The former Mr. Show star expands his role as “criminal lawyer” Saul Goodman (aka James Morgan “Jimmy” McGill) in this Breaking Bad spin-off.
Charlie’s Angels (2000)
Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz and Lucy Liu star in this mediocre big screen adaptation of the ‘70s hit show that made enough money to push out an unfortunate sequel.
Collateral Damage (2002)
Confusing and convoluted plot featuring Arnold Schwarzenegger as a firefighter who takes on international terrorism after losing his wife and child. One of his final pics before Arnold left life behind the camera to become the Governator.
Cruel Intentions (1999)
A tongue-in-cheek and super fun teen take on Dangerous Liasons set in the world of Manhattan’s Upper East Side teen sect. This is what life looked like for the filthy rich under 18 folks before Rich Kids of Instagram was available. Movie score bonus points for the awesomely ‘90s cast and soundtrack as well.
Johnny English (2003)
Rowan Atkinson plays a goofy British agent that gets into hijinks in this awful, awful movie that inexplicably stars John Malkovich.
The Little Engine that Could (2011)
A CG toon based on the kiddie classic by Watty Piper and starring the voices of Jodi Benson, Corbin Bleu, Jamie Lee Curtis and Whoopi Goldberg.
The Lizzie Borden Chronicles (Season 1)
Christina Ricci stars in the Lifetime miniseries that in no way resembles anything that actually happened. This is the female serial killer version of The Unauthorized Biography of 90210.
Masha’s Tales (Season 1)
Blonde little girl tries to bring back the headscarf-and-bangs look from 1998 while sharing stories. For the kiddies. There’s a lot of a pink.
Open Season (2006)
Starring the voices of Ashton Kutcher, Martin Lawrence, Gary Sinise, Billy Connolly and Debra Messing, CGI animals teach hunters a lesson in this toon.
Para Elisa (2012)
Spanish thriller centered on a nanny who realizes she in charge of all the crazy.
Pokemon: XY (Season 1)
Looks like Netflix didn’t wipe all of the Pokemon vids from its streaming service as it adds the series to its catalogue.
The live-action version of the Saturday morning staple featuring all the fart jokes that you never missed from the original cartoon.
Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed (2004)
See above. Now with Alicia Silverstone.
Sin City (2005)
The movie that reaffirmed your faith in comic book adaptations back when it needed it in ‘05. Robert Rodriguez brilliant vision gives life to Frank Miller’s noir comic, bringing the iconic figures of Marv, Gail and all the delightful scum of Basin City to the big screen.
Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (1989)
One of the worst of the Star Trek movies, featuring Spock’s never-mentioned brother, who can smile and has a big of a God complex. Features Uhura’s now infamous fan dance. This movie should be watched and studied by future generations as evidence as how far a good franchise can go off the rails.
Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006)
Will Ferrell’s send up of the cult of NASCAR with his take on the “legend” of Ricky Bobby. Not as great as Anchorman, but entertaining.
Teen Witch (1989)
Cult favorite and awful ‘80s movie best known for it’s horrible dance numbers and “Top That” rap song that your friend posted on your Facebook wall about three years ago. Here’s a refresher:
I Love You Phillip Morris (2009)
Jim Carrey plays an ex-cop turned con man who finds the love of his live while in prison with jailbird Ewan McGregor. Determined to stay with his new bae, Mr. Morris embarks on a crime spree guaranteed to keep him behind bars. Sort of a true story.
Gaspar Noe’s Love (2015)
A bittersweet recollection of a film student who recalls a past relationship filled with all the moments that make love real.
Hannibal Buress: Comedy Camisado
“He’s a kamikaze gambler. A one-arm cuddler. And if his fly is down, so be it. A night of sly riffs and slow burns.”
Netflix original comedy special featuring the stand-up
Mad Men (Season 7, Part 2)
Say goodbye to Mr. Draper, Better, Peggy Olsen, drinks at 10 a.m., slaps on the ass of your secretary and sideburns galore as the show that elevate television and raised the bar of what could be accomplished by one-hour drama ends its reign.
Turbo FAST (Season 3)
The third season of the original Netflix series about the racing snail kicks off in high gear.
Lila & Eve (2015)
Viola Davis and Jennifer Lopez made a movie together. I KNOW! I had no idea either! Apparently, they play moms whose kids are killed. After they are failed by local law enforcement, they go rogue and clean up the mean streets themselves. Sounds awesome, but since it was apparently released in 2015 with no fanfare and it has 35% on Rotten Tomatoes, I’m don’t have high hopes on this one.
Crime-comedy that places ‘90s culture in a loving embrace. Produces by Forrest Whitaker, Pharrell Williams and Sean Combs, this Sundance feature focuses on Inglewood teens who are obsessed with ‘90s hip-hop culture but get caught up in the drama of girls, friend circles, drugs and college enrollment.
Please do yourself a favor and watch this.
Based on the book by Ian McEwan, this English drama about Briony Tallis, whose misunderstanding and lies she told as a child about her sister and her lover (Keira Knightley and James McAvoy) have a lifelong effect on everything she holds dear.
The Returned (Season 2)
The continuing tale about the dead returning to life in a small town. Not a zombie drama.
Cooked (Season 1)
Series about a spirited group of buddies who work together in a restaurant.
Marvel Super Hero Adventures: Frost Fight!
A holiday special in which all the Marvel heroes unite to try and stop Loki from stealing the powers of…Santa. Yeah.
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon: Sword of Destiny (2016)
Based on the fifth book from the Crane Iron series, this original Netflix movie follows warrior Yu Shu Lien (Michelle Yeoh) as she band together with a group of warriors on the hunt for the legendary sword, the Green Destiny.
Fuller House (Season 1)
The whole Tanner clan in back (except Michelle) in this Netflix original series that will have Gen-Xers and Yers queuing up the family friendly series for a next generation.