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Stream On: What’s New on Netflix for September 2016

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Folks, it’s early Christmas.

Zootopia! Footloose! Top Gun! Luke Cage! Jaws! Jaws 2! Jaws 3! Jaws 4! All the Jaws!

As mentioned in a previous article, the 2013 Netflix-Disney deal is beginning to bear fruit for Netflix users as goodies begin to bloom in streaming, beginning with the animated megahit Zootopia.

Keep your eyes peeled in the upcoming months for more box office hits to head over to the streaming service first from the Mouse House as part of this super sexy streaming deal.

 

SEPTEMBER 1

The Amityville Horror (2005)

So, before Deadpool made Ryan Reynolds the best human ever, he was forced to do dreck like this. Let’s all take a moment to thank Tim Miller, the Marvel Universe and Reynolds himself for making the Merc with a Mouth happen.

 

Babel (2006)

The Oscar winner featuring converging storylines that span the globe following a narrative about a couple in crisis after a woman is shot while on vacation in the Middle East. Starring everyone.

 

Bayou Maharajah: The Tragic Genius of James Booker (2013)

Also known as the “Black Liberace”, James Booker was the piano prodigy whose students included Dr. John and Harry Connick Jr. The New Orleans native lived fast and died young, but not before leaving his mark on the music industry.

 

Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey (1991)

Sequel to the one of the greatest movies ever made is just okay.

 

Bratz: The Movie (2007)

Based on a toy line that toes the line between fashion doll and bad influence on today’s children, film is best known for causing Paula Abdul’s meltdown on her reality show when she was kicked off the production she helped get of the ground.

 

Burn, Burn, Burn (2015)

Buddies head on road trip to spread the ashes of a dead friend.

 

Cats & Dogs (2001)

Mediocre summer kiddie pic about what happens when you leave the house. Turns out that Flurry and Fido are in a race war for global domination.

 

Crashing (Season 1)

Brit series about six twentysomethings living together in an abandoned hospital, which is apparently something you can do in Blighty.

 

Defiance (2008)

Daniel Craig, Liev Schrieber and Jamie Bell play three Jewish brothers who take refuge from the Nazis in a nearby forest, using their survival skills to outrack, outlive and outhunt their would-be killers.

 

Europe’s Last Great Wilderness (2015)

Nature with all sorts of cheeky accents in this National Geo show.

 

The Fierce Wife (2010)

Singapore drama about a woman who discovers that her husband has been cheating on her with her cousin.

 

Footloose (1984)

This movie has it all.  A town where dancing and music is illegal. John Lithgow as the preacher with a tragic past. Laurie Singer preacher’s daughter with a chip on her shoulder and red cowboy boots. Kevin Bacon and his amazing back-flipping double. Sarah Jessica Parker and Chris Penn as the best friends. Kenny Loggins. A perfect movie with a perfect soundtrack that never gets old.

 

Full Out (2015)

The story of Ariana Berlin, a gymnast who almost lost her chance to compete due to a car accident, but was able to regain her chances thanks to the healing power of hip-hop music.

I want to say I didn’t NOT MAKE THAT UP. That is really the plot. It just sounds sarcastic.

 

Heartland (Season 7)

Canadian saga about a family who has the ability to help injured horses. Apparently, this has been going on for about seven years.

 

Hellevator (Season 1)

Blumhouse Productions horror game show featuring the Twisted Twins Jen and Sylvia Soska in which contestants ride a haunted elevator through an abandoned warehouse.

 

Hoot (2006)

Kids in Florida try to save a nest of wild owls from becoming an Applebees-esque restaurant.

 

Hope Floats (1998)

Sandra Bullock returns to her small Texas town after her husband’s affair is made into entertainment on daytime television.

 

The IT Crowd (Season 5)

You have had a rough day. Go ahead and binge this. You deserve it.

 

Jaws (1975)

The film that created the term “blockbuster” and is perhaps the greatest single horror film of all time. A masterpiece in both tension and terror, Jaws made Steven Spielberg the Hollywood wunderkid of the ‘70s and ‘80s and defined modern movie making. I watch it every few weeks for good measure, just to remind myself how a great move can be.

 

Jaws 2 (1978)

So, not as great as the original, but still, a solid movie. Good performances from Roy Scheider as Amity Island looks to be facing yet another shark problem.

 

Jaws 3 (1983)

Ok, so this is clearly not a good movie. HOWEVER, the combination of the terrible 3D, to over-the-top performances and the awful, awful premise makes for pure entertainment. Not to mention one of my favorite overacted scenes of all time:

“Overman was killed inside the park. The baby was caught inside the park. Its mother is inside the park.”

 

Jaws: The Revenge (1987)

This movie is the cinematic definition of “I can’t even.”

The only reason Michael Caine is in it is because he got to go to the Bahamas. He freely admits this in many, many interviews.

 

Joyful Noise (2012)

Dolly Parton and Queen Latifah in a choir movie.

 

Keepers of the Game (2016)

Documentary on the Salmon River High School girls Lacrosse team that struggles to keep its funding.

 

Last Holiday (2006)

Queen Latifah thinks she’s going to die so she lives out her bucket list.

 

Man on Wire (2008)

Biography on tightrope walker Philippe Petit’s famous stunt of walking between the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center. Pic focuses on every detail of the event, from what to wear, to width of the wire to calculating the wind.

 

Milk Money (1994)

Man, where to start on this one.

A little boy hires a prostitute (Melanie Griffith) with his milk money, but then decides it is better if she hangs out with his dad (Ed Harris) rather than his friends because it might be a slightly bad idea.

Hey, guy who greenlit this, you should be fucking ashamed of yourself.

 

Practical Magic (1998)

Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman are sisters who hail from a long line of witches blessed with beauty but cursed with never being able to hold onto love.

Also starring Stockard Channing and Dianne Wiest, this movie is a great ‘90s guilty pleasure chick flick. From the Shania Twain soundtrack to the many choker-overall combos, this pic is a snapshot of its time. It needs to be treasured.

 

Road Trip (2000)

Breckin Meyer and buddies head on a cross country trip to stop an accidentally mailed sex tape from reaching his girl friend. Surprisingly not starring Seth Green.

 

Sam Kinison: Breaking the Rules (2000)

Originally filmed in 1987, the legendary slightly-unhinged comedian goes from 0-psychotic at the drop of a hat in this amazing HBO special.

 

Saving Private Ryan (1998)

“…and then the Academy gave the Oscar to ‘Shakespeare in Love.’ I mean, to this day, I’m still upset about it”

“Wait. Are you kidding? Did they even see both movies?”

Yeah. Still upset.

One of the greatest war films ever made.

 

Scary Movie 2 (2001)

After Scary Movie but before the entire franchise was driven off a cliff but overkill, there was this mediocre entry.

 

Shameless (US – Season 5­-6)

Showtime series continues the saga of the Gallagher family with ex-con Fiona at the helm, Lip now in college, Ian on and off his meds, Debbie entering her teen years and Carl becoming slightly more of a threat.

 

Stomp the Yard (2007)

Like Stomp the musical, but with a plot. Barely.

 

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007)

Add all of the best creepy elements of pop culture and stir into perfection. A bit of Sondheim with a dash of Burton, add Rickman, Depp and Carter for good measure and stir in some of the best music this side of Broadway.

 

Top Gun (1986)

Tom Cruise plays Maverick, a volleyball-loving, shirt-hating Navy pilot makes love in silhouette. That’s all you need to know. Now go with God and watch this movie.

 

True Grit (1969)

John Wayne brought home Oscar gold for his portrayal of Rooster Cogburn, a retired lawman hired by a little girl to bring justice to the men who killed her father.

 

U­-571 (2000)

Matthew McConaughey leads a Navy mission to fetch a sunken German sub with an advanced encryption machine before the Nazis can retrieve it.

 

The Wicker Man (2006)

BEES

 

SEPTEMBER 2

Baby Daddy (Season 5)

It’s Three Men and a Baby but with hipsters

 

Chef’s Table: France ­ (Netflix Original)

“In this original docu-series, find out what’s inside the kitchens and minds of the international culinary stars who are redefining gourmet food.”

 

Kazoops! (Season 1, Netflix Original)

“Music meets imagination in this inventive animated series about thinking outside the box and having fun.”

 

Kulipari: An Army of Frogs ­ (Netflix Original)

“In a tale of bravery and heroism, fearless frogs go to war against the sinister scorpions and spiders that have teamed up to conquer the amphibians.”

 

Narcos (Season 2, Netflix Original)

“The true story of Colombia’s infamously violent and powerful drug cartels fuels this gritty gangster drama series.”

 

Young & Hungry (Season 4)

Food blogger is hired as a personal chef by a Silicon Valley millionaire and finds herself in a will-they-won’t-they situation with her wealthy-employer.

 

SEPTEMBER 6

 

Crash (2004)

Probably the most polarized Oscar winning movie of all time. Is this movie good? Is it bad? Was it just Oscar bait littered with race issues meant to get attention with no real substance? The argument still rages on today.

Unless you are me, and then that fight still belongs to Shakespeare in Love vs. Saving Private Ryan.

 

The Finest Hours (2015)

In the Netflix agreement that continues to give, the Disney dramatic thriller starring Chris Pine about the daring rescue of a set of oil tankers during a blizzard in 1952.

 

Hard Target 2 (2016)

Set your clocks, kids! It’s the direct-to-video sequel to the original 1993 pic starring none of the original cast!

I’ll get the popcorn!

 

Honey 3: Dare to Dance (2016)

In a plot borrowed straight from Footloose, a young dancer looks to break all the rules by bringing dance into her community.

If you look at the poster, everyone looks slightly embarrassed.

 

R.L. Stine’s Mostly Ghostly: One Night in Doom House (2016)

Max Doyle and his spirit buddies return in this kid’s starter kit to horror.

 

SEPTEMBER 7

The Blacklist (Season 3)

The third season of the NBC show continues to follow the exploits of the former FBI agent-turned-fugitive Raymond “Red” Reddington.

 

Galavant (Seasons 1­ and 2)

The ABC musical comedy set in the land of fairy tales by showrunner Dan Fogelman.

 

SEPTEMBER 10

 

Supergirl (Season 1)

So, the only place where the DC Universe isn’t a massive disappointment is on the small screen. If you want to have an actual good time where the character will not upset you with their moody, emo ways and penchant for destroying their own cities, than check out what they are doing over at the CW. It’s much, much better.

 

SEPTEMBER 13

 

Extremis (2016, Netflix Original)

“Witness the wrenching emotions that accompany end-of-life decisions as doctors, patients and families in a hospital ICU face harrowing choices.”

 

Hawaii Five­-0 (Season 6)

More procedural adventures with Steve and Dan-O.

 

London Has Fallen (2015)

The slightly bat-shit crazy sequel to Antoine Fuqua’s 2013 film Olympus Has Fallen about all of the terrorist attacks ever. Seriously. The film never lets up and barely gives you a chance to blink. A strong, highly-entertaining actioner.

 

SEPTEMBER 14

Goldie & Bear (Season 1)

Goldlocks and Bear are best friends in a magical forest in this Disney Channel kiddie show.

SEPTEMBER 15

Sample This (2012)

A documentary on the Incredible Bongo Band, who released one of the most sampled albums of all time.

 

The Walking Dead (Season 6)

More Walkers, more tough decisions, and this time, a cliffhanger!

 

SEPTEMBER 16

 

Cedric The Entertainer: Live from the Ville ­ (Netflix Original)

“Comedy icon Cedric the Entertainer brings the laughs to Nashville, taking hilarious aim at the aggressive lyrics of today’s rap artists, raising kids in the Snapchat generation, and Obama’s legacy.” – From the Netflix press release they sent me

 

Raiders!: The Story of the Greatest Fan Film Ever Made (2015)

Documentary about one of the best fan films ever made as teen spend their childhood recreating a shot for shot tribute to Raiders of the Lost Ark.

 

The White Helmets (2016 – Netflix Original)

“As daily airstrikes pound civilian targets in Syria, a group of indomitable first responders risk their lives to rescue victims from the rubble.”

 

SEPTEMBER 17

3 Days to Kill (2014)

Kevin Costner is a spy with a terminal disease who decides to give up the life to spend more time with his family. But if only it was that easy. Cue dramatic music.

 

Luther (Season 4)

Idris Elba.

That is all.

 

Penny Dreadful (Season 3)

The final, rather suddenly final, season of the Showtime series. Started strong, but ended abruptly.

 

SEPTEMBER 19

 

Call the Midwife (Series 5)

Period drama about a group of midwives working in London in the ‘50s.

 

Gotham (Season 2)

For those of you like me who almost gave up after the first season, HANG IN THERE! It gets great! Really.

See the DC Universe argument above…

 

SEPTEMBER 20

New Girl (Season 5)

Jesse and the loft gang return for more fun and games and the group find new ways to try and hide Zooey Deschanel’s pregnancy.

 

Zootopia (2016)

Disney’s fantastic little megahit that now makes it harder to tell the difference between Walt Disney Studios and Pixar. A little morality story about believing in yourself wrapped in a surprisingly adult whodunit mystery with complex themes of racism.

Watch it before furries destroy it even further on the Internet.

 

SEPTEMBER 22

Bones (Season 11)

I am always shocked when a show I don’t personally watch has been on for more than a decade. Good for you, Bones.

 

Easy (Season 1 ­- Netflix Original)

“With an eclectic, star-studded cast, this fresh anthology follows diverse Chicagoans fumbling through the modern maze of love, sex, tech and culture.”

 

Wallander (Series 4)

The Brit TV series starring Kenneth Branagh enters its fourth and final season.

 

SEPTEMBER 23

 

Audrie & Daisy (2016 – Netflix Original)

“In a wrenching documentary, two teenage girls from opposite sides of the nation are driven to suicide attempts in the wake of assaults and harassment.”

 

Iliza Shlesinger: Confirmed Kills ­ (Netflix Original)

“Iliza Shlesinger serves up another round of her fearlessly fresh brand of comic observation in this stand-up special filmed in Chicago.”

 

Longmire (Season 5 – Netflix Original)

“This contemporary crime thriller focuses on a Wyoming sheriff who’s rebuilding his life and career following the death of his wife.”

 

VeggieTales in the House (Season 4 – Netflix Original)

“The exciting new adventures of Bob the Tomato, Larry the Cucumber, and all their Veggie friends as you’ve never seen them before: in the house!”

 

SEPTEMBER 24

Portlandia (Season 6)

Bring out the Trader Joe’s jokes and beard references! Portlandia returns for a sixth season to poke fun at hipsters, foodies, music lovers and anyone who doesn’t have a desk job.

 

River (2016)

An American doctor goes on the run in Laos after he intervenes during a sexual assault.

 

SEPTEMBER 25

Family Guy (Season 14)

That’s fourteen seasons of unfunny.

 

Margaret Cho: PsyCHO (2015)

Sheeeee’s back!

 

SEPTEMBER 28

The Imitation Game (2014)

The true story of Brit genius and hero Alan Turing, who led a team of cryptanalysts who were able to crack Nazi codes and stop attacks on British fleets. For his heroic efforts, he was rewarded with chemical castration after he was arrested on charges of homosexuality.

 

SEPTEMBER 30

Amanda Knox (2016 – Netflix Original)

“She was twice convicted and acquitted of murder. Hear personal accounts from the people inside the public spectacle in this documentary film.”

 

Marvel’s Luke Cage (Netflix Original)

“A hoodie-wearing, unbreakable ex-con fights to clear his name and save his neighborhood. He wasn’t looking for a fight, but the people need a hero.”

 

Scream (Season 2)

Season 2 of the MTV series picks up a few months after the last season left off, with our hero Emma trying to recover from the horror of last year and barely hanging on.

 

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