This Christmas, Netflix has stacked the tree with tons of original movies and series, a few assorted gems from that Disney deal, and a one or two Christmas themed Hallmark movies that might make you throw up your eggnog just a little bit.
Missing this year: selection. There are good pics here and there, but not the mind-numbing amount of movies there used to be. But while selections of high caliber Hollywood hits seems to be dwindling, the amount of original fare is hitting new heights.
So, for now, bring on the goodies…
One of the few Spielberg “meh” pics. The legendary opts to remake A Guy Named Joe, cast Richard Dreyfuss in the Spencer Tracy role.
Angels in the Snow (2015)
“When nothing short of a miracle can hold a deteriorating family together, a Christmas getaway sets the stage for a miracle to occur.”
A TV movie whose Christmas wish is to be Love, Actually.
Beverly Hills Cop (1984)
One of the reasons why Eddie Murphy will always get gigs in Hollywood no matter how bad they might bomb. His Axel Foley is as iconic as his laugh.
Beyond Bollywood (2014)
A look at the Indian film industry that makes Hollywood look like a bunch of slackers.
Black Snake Moan (2007)
Samuel L. Jackson attempts to save sinful nymphomaniac Rae (Christina Ricci) from herself by chaining her to a radiator. Despite all attempts to looks and sound sleazy, it’s a pretty good movie.
Chill with Bob Ross: Collection (1990)
Enjoy a few hours with painter and human Xanax Bob Ross.
A fictionalized version of the infamous Leopold-Loeb case in which two good-looking, wealthy students are on trial for a thrill kill. Orson Welles stars as their defense attorney in this classic.
D2: The Mighty Ducks (1994)
D2: Emilio Estevez Needs A Beach House
David Blaine: Street Magic (1997)
Before he was scaring the shit out of Harrison Ford in his own house, Blaine was freaking people out on the street.
For the Love of Spock (2016)
A look at the life and career of actor, director and writer Leonard Nimoy.
Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce (Season 2)
Self-help guru’s life and career are in shambles when her own love life falls apart.
Glory Daze: The Life and Time of Michael Alig (2016)
A look at King of the Club Kids-turned-murder Michael Alig whose rise to fame in the late ‘80s/early ‘90s highlight the decadence of the era.
Harry and the Hendersons (1987)
Family adopts Bigfoot.
Hitler: A Career (1977)
To be clear, this is not actually a career option.
Holiday Engagement (2011)
Holiday TV Movie alert! In this 90-minute holiday romp, a woman hires an actor to play her boyfriend because it’s better to be a liar than single.
On an unrelated note: Fuck you, Hallmark Channel.
Honey, I Shrunk the Kids (1989)
Classic Disney movie about a goofy scientist (played by quintessential late ‘80s science man Rick Moranis) who accidentally shrinks his kids and the neighbors kids. A classic.
House of Wax (2006)
Soulless, mediocre remake of a classic horror pic starring Paris Hilton instead of Vincent Price. Because life isn’t fair sometimes.
Everyone’s favorite cannibal returns to wreak havoc on the life of Clarice Starling, now disgraced from her beloved gig in the FBI.
Merry Kissmas (2015)
Even if you have the lowest of all possible standards on basic cable Christmas movies, this one is just astounding. A magic elevator that causes you to kiss strangers. Let that one sink in.
National Lampoon’s Animal House (1978)
Perhaps one of the best comedies ever made, this is exactly what you need to watch when you are hungover and on the couch drinking ginger ale. Just let Bluto take care of you. And you better listen to him. He’s in pre-med.
Picture Perfect (1997)
This movie is the definition of “airplane pic.”
Jennifer Aniston is the lady version of Ryan Reynolds’ career before Deadpool saved him. I really hope she finds her Deadpool soon. I can’t deal with another quirk comedy.
Rainbow Time (2016)
The Duplass brothers offer this off-kilter dramedy about a developmentally disabled man who blackmails his younger brother into sharing his life by holding secrets over his head.
Rodeo & Juliet (2015)
City girl falls for cowboy and horseback riding.
Not original, but they get points for the pun.
Swept Under (2016)
A crime scene cleaner finds additional evidence and teams with a detective to go all Encyclopedia Brown on the case.
Dennis Quaid plays an FBI agent who heads to Texas to hunt down a serial killer who kidnapped his son.
The Angry Birds Movie (2016)
The movie based on the app that arrived a few years too late.
The Crucible (1996)
Daniel Day-Lewis, Joan Allen and Winona Ryder star in Arthur Miller’s drama about a love triangle gone horribly wrong during the Salem Witch Trials. Award-worthy performances from everyone involved. Story is a loosely-based allegory for the Senator Joseph McCarthy’s oppressive tactics toward Hollywood during the Red Scare.
The Little Rascals (1994)
The adorable moppets of yesterday got a movie in the ‘90s in this forgotten kiddie pic.
The Legend of Bagger Vance (2000)
Matt Damon meets Will Smith a magical man who helps him win a golf game and the heart of Charlize Theron. Believe it or not, Robert Redford was responsible for this.
The Rock (1996)
Nicolas Cage and Sean Connery team up to break into Alcatraz after Ed Harris takes it hostage. Remember what I said before about Animal House being great for hangovers? So is this movie. Just a fan-fucking-tastic time.
The Spirit of Christmas (2015)
A woman falls in love with a ghost because Lifetime thinks it understands woman.
If you listen very closely, you can actually hear my eyes roll back into my head as I write this.
Surreal comedy about a child-like toymaker (Robin Williams) who must defend his factor from his war-hungry uncle who looks to turn kids into real-life G.I. Joes.
Uncle Nick (2015)
Brian Posehn ruins Christmas by trying to fuck his step-niece.
Ha. Take that, Lifetime.
Waking Life (2001)
Richard Linklater discovers the joys of rotoscoping and Winona Ryder’s boobies in this surreal hipster journey.
Way of the Dragon (1972)
Bruce Lee wrote, directed and starred in this movie that has Bruce Lee vs. Chuck Norris.
Whenever I’m asked to prove the existence of God, I cite this movie as proof.
We’re Back! A Dinosaur’s Story (1993)
Fun loving dinos to go New York. Hijinks and attempts to sell toys ensue.
White Girl (2016)
A college girl falls for her drug deal.
A college girl in art school struggles with what could be repressed memories in this drama.
Zero Point (2014)
“In a near future London besieged by rioting, recession and power blackouts, the Prime Minister is assassinated in broad daylight by extremists. But when cop David Ariel is framed, his hunt for the PM’s killers uncovers something far worse: an ancient war which could rip apart the fabric of spacetime itself.”
Fauda (Season 1; Netflix original series)
Israeli military thriller about the commander of a Mista’arvim unit and their attempts to capture an elusive terrorist.
Hip Hop Evolution (Season 1; Netflix original series)
“Critically acclaimed MC and journalist Shad Kabango sets out to uncover the foundations of Hip-Hop music. Beginning his journey in the Bronx, Shad meets with the DJs and MCs who set the template for all to follow.”
Pacific Heat (Season 1, Netflix original series)
“In this animated satire, a covert squad of operatives short on smarts but long on confidence tackles crime on the glitzy Gold Coast of Australia.”
Lost & Found Music Studios (Season 2; Netflix original series)
“Teen singers-songwriters in an elite music program form bonds of friendship, creativity and romance while turning their passion into their profession.”
Indie pic about a mother who is pushed passed the point of sanity by her selfish, petty adult daughters.
The Good Neighbor (2016)
Teens attempting to torment an elderly neighbor with a fake haunting get the tables turned on them in this mediocre scarer.
Blue Jay (2016)
Mark Duplass’ character study about former high school sweethearts who reconnect after a chance meeting.
Reggie Watts: Spatial (Netflix original)
“The comic innovator delivers a surreal set blending experimental songs, jokes about grits, guns and drugs, and other improvised comedy adventures.”
The Devil Dolls (2016)
A serial killer’s personal worry dolls take over the residents of a small Southern town, causing them to murder each other.
The Model (2016)
A teen model slowly becomes unhinged as she attempts to make it big in the Parisian scene. In other words, she becomes a model.
The Cuba Libre Story (Season 1; Netflix original)
Captive (Season 1; Netflix original)
“The producers of Captive have gained privileged access to the most challenging negotiations of our time — revealing how hostage-taking, and the efforts to resolve it, have evolved to address an escalating international trend.”
Cirque du Soleil Junior – Luna Petunia (Season 1; Netflix original series)
“With help from her magic toy chest, fun-loving Luna Petunia enters the fantastic land of Amazia, where adventures, friendship and learning await.”
Club de Cuervos (Season 1; Netflix original series)
“A brother and sister battle high expectations and each other after inheriting a soccer team. A series from the creators of ‘Nosotros los Nobles.’”
Fuller House (Season 2; Netflix original series)
“The Tanner family’s adventures continue as DJ Tanner-Fuller shares a home with her sister Stephanie and friend Kimmy who help raise her three boys.”
Four Seasons in Havana (Season 1; Netflix original series)
Murder mystery set in Cuba in the 1990s based on the noir novel by Leonardo Padura.
Medici: Masters of Florence (Season 1; Netflix original series)
“A political, family drama set in Florence in the early 15th century. Cosimo de’ Medici finds himself at the helm of his supremely wealthy, banking dynasty family, when his father, Giovanni dies suddenly.”
Spectral (Netflix original)
“The film follows a brilliant DARPA scientist who goes on a deadly mission with a Special Ops team of Delta Force soldiers into a war-torn city where mysterious phantom aggressors code-named Spectral have been causing inexplicable civilians deaths.” (From ComingSoon.com)
White Rabbit Project (Season 1; Netflix original)
“Kari Byron, Tory Belleci and Grant Imahara rank history’s greatest inventions, heists and more in this series from the producers of “MythBusters.”
Lucky Number Slevin (2006)
Dark comedy with a hell of a cast as misfit Slevin (Josh Hartnett, before he found redemption with Penny Dreadful) finds himself in the middle of a mob war. Second fiddles includes Stanley Tucci, Morgan Freeman, Ben Kingsley and Bruce Willis.
Phantom of the Theater (2016)
Hong Kong update on the classic Phantom tale, but a bit bloodier and new sense of style. Set in the ‘30s, this update of Opera is a tale to behold.
Breaking a Monster (2016)
“Breaking A Monster begins as the three members of band UNLOCKING THE TRUTH are all in 7th grade, spending their weekends playing a blend of heavy metal and speed punk in Times Square – often drawing substantial crowds. They take on a manager: a 70- year-old industry veteran. With his guidance they are soon on their way to a 1.8 million dollar record deal and a precarious initiation into the music industry.”
Ricardo O’Farrill: Christmas Special (Netflix original)
“Ricardo O’Farrill brings his sharp, observational humor to the stage with a relentless sarcasm and specific Mexican sensibility. Prepare for mockery.”
Colony (Season 1)
“Executive producers Carlton Cuse (“Lost”) and Ryan Condal (“Hercules”) bring you Colony. Set in the very near future, Colony centers on one family’s struggle to survive an occupied Los Angeles. Josh Holloway (“Lost”) stars as Will Bowman and Sarah Wayne Callies (“The Walking Dead”) plays his wife, Katie.”
The story of the Internet and a look at those who are trying to sway it, either to limit its use or to free it from those to seek to control it. A docu about the online work and the dangers it faces.
I Am Not a Serial Killer (2016)
Supernatural thriller about an unstable teen on the hunt for a serial kills with unusual abilities.
Nobel (Season 1; Netflix original)
“…Two stories carefully intertwine as a returning soldier and family man becomes a pawn in a political international game. As the stakes grow higher he is forced to discover just how far one should go in the name of peace.”
Versailles (Season 1)
Brit-Canadian-American series about the construction of the iconic French palace during the time of Louis XIV.
Barry (Netflix original)
Vikram Gandhi’s drama about the years Barack Obama spent at Columbia University.
Call Me Francis (Season 1; Netflix original)
“A 4 part biographical miniseries that chronicles Pope Francis’ life, his controversial political leanings, his remarkable humanitarian work and his ascent to Papacy starring Rodrigo de la Serna, Mercedes Morán and Muriel Santa Ana.”
Crazyhead (Season 1; Netflix original)
“Bowling alley worker Amy and socially inept Raquel kick some serious demon butt while also facing their inner demons as they navigate their early 20s.”
No Second Chance (Season 1; Netflix original)
Morgan Spurlock’s doc covers the history of rat infestations in major cities throughout the world.
The Adventures of Puss in Boots (Season 4; Netflix original)
“The world’s greatest feline fighter, lover and milk connoisseur takes on daring adventures in exotic locations in this family-friendly comedy series.”
Miss Stevens (2016)
American Horror Story muse Lily Rabe plays a drama teacher who chaperones a trio of teens on their way to state drama finals in this indie comedy.
Disorder (aka Maryland) (2015)
French home invasion thriller spotlighting a soldier with PTSD.
Gabriel Iglesias: Sorry For What I Said When I Was Hungry (Netflix original)
“He’s sold out concerts in over 24 countries and now he makes his Netflix debut. Gabriel “Fluffy” Iglesias delights a packed house in Chicago, IL.”
My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic (Season 6)
Yeah. This again. If you are not a six-year-old little girl, you are a sicko.
Ten Percent (Season 1; Netflix original)
Series that focuses on gay, lesbian, bi and transgender issues.
Travelers (Season 1; Netflix original)
“Hundreds of years from now, the last surviving humans discover the means of sending consciousness back through time, directly into people in the 21st century. These “travelers” assume the lives of seemingly random people, while secretly working as teams to perform missions in order to save humanity from a terrible future.”
Trollhunters (Season 1; Netflix original)
“From master storyteller Guillermo del Toro, a fantastical new world wrapped around two best friends who make a startling discovery beneath their town.”
Marvel’s Captain America: Civil War (2016)
This Christmas, enjoy the gift that keeps on giving: the 2013 Disney deal with Netflix. In the third chapter in the Captain America series, fans not only inch closer to the Infinity War storyline, but they also get Black Panther and the gift of Spider-Man as well. Merry Christmas, everyone!
When Hari Got Married (2013)
A taxi driver in an arranged marriage uses modern technology to get to know his bride-to-be.
Ajin (Season 2; Netflix original)
“A teenager discovers that he is an Ajin and flees before the authorities experiment on him. Other Ajin plan to fight back and he must choose a side.”
Chasing Cameron (Season 1; Netflix original)
“Get an inside look at the life of social media sensation Cameron Dallas with this show that follows him as he takes his career to the next level.”
Comedy Bang! Bang! (Season 5)
“Based on Scott Aukerman’s (co-creator/director/producer, Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis; writer/performer, Mr. Show) popular podcast of the same name, Comedy Bang! Bang! cleverly riffs on the well-known format of the late night talk show, infusing celebrity appearances and comedy sketches with a tinge of the surreal.”
The Hollywood Shorties (2016)
“The Hollywood Shorties is a documentary on the birth of organized sports in the American dwarf community.”
The Eighties (Season 1)
“The CNN Original Series The Eighties explores this totally rad decade and its cultural, political, and technological impact on today.” (Blur is from CNN. I would never use “totally rad” in a sentence. Even as a joke.)
Big in Bollywood (2011)
The story of how American actor Omi Vaidya rose to fame as a leading man on the silver screen in Indian cinema.