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Stream On: What’s New To Netflix In January 2017

A band new year brings a brand new bag of goodies to binge and a few old school favorites to watch while recouping from previous night’s festivities.

In January, Netflix auds are treated to a whole heap of goodies ranging from ‘80s classics (E.T., The Shining, Caddyshack), thrillers and crime capers galore (Ocean’s Twelve, V for Vendetta) and all the Superman movies you can shake a cape at.

Also in the new year, Netflix announced that they are going to preem a new comedy special once a week for the month of January. Jen Kirkman, Jim Gaffigan, Neal Brennan, Cristela Alonzo and Gad Elmaleh are all on deck ring in the new year with more chuckles and less bone-crushing sadness. (Sorry. 2016 really left a mark.)

JANUARY  1

Caddyshack (1980)

Bill Murray is at his Bill Murrayist in this ‘80s camp classic about fun and games and rodent destruction at a golf club.

 

Braveheart (1995)

Mel Gibson plays the 13th-century Scottish freedom fighter William Wallace in a movie that inspired every gym teach, drill sergeant and rando addressing a large crowd to do their bidding. Film single handedly caused the stock of blue face paint to triple almost overnight.

 

Boogie Nights (1997)

Paul Thomas Anderson’s epic tale of Dirk Diggler, the young busboy who becomes a sensation in the porn industry in this brilliant pic that perfectly encapsulates life in Los Angeles in the late ‘70s-early ‘80s. Star turns from everyone involved, including Mark Wahlberg, Julianne Moore, Heather Graham, Don Cheadle, Burt Reynolds and Philip Seymour Hoffman.

 

The Shining (1980)

Stanley Kubrick’s masterpiece of horror. A few fun facts you might not know:

  • It took around 60 doors to film the “Here’s Johnny” scene
  • Stephen King disliked the pic and called it “A fancy car without an engine.” In turn, Kubrick called King’s writing “weak.”
  • In Spanish, the “All work and no play” line is swapped with “Although one will rise early, it won’t dawn sooner.”

 

V for Vendetta (2005)

The Wachowskis take on the Alan Moore comic centers on a revolutionary who looks to topple the fascist regime that is crushing society.

Once seen as a work of fiction, this can now be viewed as a how-to guide for events yet to come.

 

Vanilla Sky (2001)

Cameron Crowe’s slightly off-kilter sci-fi thriller starring Tom Cruise, Cameron Diaz and Penelope Cruz.

 

HALO Legend (2010)

Seven short anime films remind you that HALO isn’t that interesting.

Bee Movie (2007)

Seinfeld is a bee.  Not that there’s anything wrong with it…

Hugo (2011)

Scorsese’s love letter to Georges Méliès and the magic of film.

Justin Bieber: Never Say Never (2011)

Bieber’s love letter to Justin Bieber and the magic of autotune.

The Parent Trap (1961)

The eternal reminder that the only thing better than Hayley Mills is two Hayley Mills.

E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982)

A boy and his alien with a generous dollop of Spielberg’s magic.

Ocean’s Twelve (2004)

Julia Roberts plays two roles, one of them being “Julia Roberts”.  She isn’t very good in that part.

Superman Returns (2006)

One of the worst movies ever made.

(Personal note: This is completely my opinion, and I understand that many people tolerate this film, but I stand by that statement.

If I ever have to deliver a 12-hour filibuster in a Texas courthouse to keep abortion legal and I need to fill the time somehow, I can easily do it with how much I hate this movie.)

Almost derailed the entire Superman franchise, but luckily, WB was able to save a little something special so they can really fuck it up a decade later.

 

Superman: The Movie (1978)

Everything a Superman movie should be, including perhaps one of the best casting decisions of all time: Christopher Reeves as Superman. The music, the cinematography, the acting and the script made the one of the best Superman film of all time, until…

 

Superman II (1980)

Supasses the original in story and drama, but will all the elements that made the first movie great. And ZOD! The best Zod ever! This is the greatest Superman movie ever made.

 

Superman III (1983)

Superman defeats Robert Vaughn and Richard Pryor. Not great, but better than Superman Returns.

 

Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987)

Superman defeats Lex Luthor and Nuclear Man. A horrible train wreck thanks to shoddy producers, Jon Cryer and no budget, but better than Superman Returns.

 

Around the World in 80 Days (2004)

Updated tellings of the Jules Verne classic tale, but with Jackie Chan and Steve Coogan.

 

Collateral Damage (2002)

Arnold Schwarzenegger goes vigilante on the terrorist who kills his wife and child in a bombing.

 

Dreamcatcher (2003)

Honestly, I have no idea what was going on in this Stephen King adaptation, and I’ve seen it twice. It’s not horror, it’s not really a thriller or a drama. It just sort of exists.

 

El Dorado (1967)

“A beat up band of misfits with nothing to lose but their lives.”

Howard Hawks’ classic western starring John Wayne, Robert Mitchum, “newcomer” James Caan and Ed Asner.

 

License to Drive (1988)

One of “The Two Coreys” films (‘80s comedies starring Corey Haim and Corey Feldman), pic centers on a teen who fails his driving test, but lies to his friends and steals his dad’s car for a crazy night out.

 

Nancy Drew (2007)

Before she played every bitch ever on primetime TV, Emma Roberts was the modern day version of the classic teen sleuth.

JANUARY 3

Degrassi: Next Class (Season 3, Netflix original series)

“Degrassi’s next generation of high-tech newbies and returning students navigates real-world high school drama. If you’re a teen, this is your life.”

 

Jen Kirkman: Just Keep Livin’? (Netflix original comedy special)

The sardonic comic and @Midnight regular get another Netflix special to make us all giggle.

 

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (Season 11)

The gang from Paddy’s Pub return for more low-brown hijinks that includes Richard Grieco, Guillermo del Toro  as the mastermind of the milk-loving McPoyle clan and horrible, horrible Irish stereotypes. A true gem.

 

JANUARY 6

One Day at a Time (Season 1, Netflix original series)

“In a reimagining of the TV classic, a newly single Latina mother raises her teen daughter and tween son with the “help” of her old-school mom.”

 

Tarzan and Jane (Season 1, Netflix original series)

“Saved from a plane crash and given supernatural powers, teen Tarzan joins forces with brave city girl Jane to protect his jungle home from thugs.”

 

Coin Heist (Netflix original, 2017)

“When a crisis threatens to destroy their high school, four teens hatch a daring plan to raise $10 million. Step one? Breaking into the U.S. Mint.”

 

JANUARY 7

Alpha and Omega 7: The Big Fureeze (2016)

The seventh in the series of cheap Ice Age rip-offs whose key audience is confused or overworked parents who don’t pay attention to details.

 

Under the Shadow (2016)

Brilliant and original Iranian thriller about a mother who slowly loses her mind as she begins to believe that supernatural forces are at play during a missile strike on the city of Tehran.

 

JANUARY 9

Best and Most Beautiful Things (2016)

“…A celebration of outcasts everywhere, following a precocious young blind woman who disappears into quirky obsessions and isolation. With humor and bold curiosity, she chases love and freedom in a surprising, sex-positive community.” Click here for more info.

 

Ratchet and Clank (2016)

Toon based on the video game that went forgotten at in theaters.

 

JANUARY 10

Jim Gaffigan: Cinco (Netflix original comedy special)

The comedian’s fifth Netflix special.

 

We’re Lalaloopsy (Season 1, Netflix original kids series)

“The Lalaloopsy gang and their adorable pets know every day is a perfect day to celebrate the magic of friendship, creativity and collaboration.”

 

As I Open My Eyes (2015)

French-Tunisian drama about a student who rather sing than study.

 

Best Friends Whenever (Season 2)

It’s a Disney Channel comedy for tweens. Your kids love it.

 

Theo Who Lived (2016)

Docu on the American journalist who was help captive by Al Qaeda while working in Syria.

 

JANUARY 11

Disney’s Alice Through the Looking Glass (2016)

Yep. The Disney deal again.

In this sequel, Alice returns to Wonderland to battle Time in an effort to save the life of the Mad Hatter.

 

JANUARY 13

A Series of Unfortunate Events (Season 1, Netflix original series)

“The extraordinary Baudelaire orphans face trials, tribulations and the evil Count Olaf in their fateful quest to unlock long-held family secrets.”

 

Clinical (Netflix original film, 2017)

“A psychiatrist is plagued by flashbacks to a terrifying attack as she treats a new patient who was horribly disfigured in an accident.”

 

It Follows (2014)

On of the best horror pics from 2014, this time the vengeful spirit is passed along when teens awkwardly grope in the backseat of a 1989 Toyota Tercel.

 

Aquarius (2016)

The 60something resident of an old apartment building makes a stand against developers who wish to destroy her home.

 

JANUARY 14

Camp X-Ray (2014)

A young woman (Kristen Stewart) looking to better herself signs up for the military and is assigned to a Guantanamo Bay detention camp.

 

Cardboard Boxer (2016)

A homeless man is used as entertainment by the Rich Kids of Instagram, who hire the homeless to fight each other. Another reason to hate the upper class.

 

JANUARY 15

A Beautiful Now (2015)

“A beautiful dancer (Abigail Spencer) balances on the razor’s edge between reality and fantasy as she asks her friends to help her figure out the passions that have shaped who they are and who they will become.” – Official site

 

Pocoyo (Seasons 1-2)

A cartoon about a three year old. Good for kiddies and adults who like bright colors.

 

The Similars (2015)

People on a bus fall victim to supernatural circumstances.

 

Twisted Trunk, Big Fat Body (2013)

An attempted terrorist attack on a temple in Mumbai goes awry when a toy planted with a bomb is stolen by a child.

 

Wartime Portraits (Season 1)

Part toon, part live-action, this series offers a look at the forgotten heroes of wartime.

 

JANUARY 16

Flash of Genius (2008)

Biopic on inventor Robert Kearns, who took Ford Motor Company to court over the creation of the windshield wiper.

 

Halloweed (2016)

Stoner slasher film. Because apparently this is what America needs right now.

 

The Rezort (2015)

A high-end resort allows the rich to kill zombies for spot. What can go wrong?

 

JANUARY 17

Neal Brennan: 3 Mics (Netflix original comedy special)

From the official site: “Three microphones are spaced out on the stage and Brennan alternates between them; one for traditional stand-up, one for one-liners, and one for short confessional monologues.”

 

Fatima (2015)

Drama about an immigrant who writes letters to her French daughters in Arabic in an effort to communicate.

 

Ixcanul (aka Volcano) (2015)

Guatemalan coming-of-age drama about an indigenous teen who forced into an arranged marriage by her parents

 

Roger Corman’s Death Race 2050 (2016)

All your favorite straight-to-video players star in this action romp with tons of gore and chicks.

 

JANUARY 19

Friday Night Tykes (Season 3)

From the official site: “Greatness starts here. The night of tykes begins with a return to Texas and some of the most competitive youth football teams in the nation.”

 

Good Kids (2016)

The “good kids” from school graduate and decide they need to experience a little life before leaving for college.

 

JANUARY 20

Voltron: Legendary Defender (Season 2, Netflix original series for kids)

“In an all-new series, five unlikely heroes and their flying robot lions unite to form the megapowerful Voltron and defend the universe from evil. JOIN FREE FOR A MONTH”

 

Frontier (Season 1, Netflix original series)

“This adventure drama series follows the chaotic and violent struggle to control wealth and power in the fur trade of 18th-century North America.”

 

Papa (2016)

A Chinese comedy-of-errors about a talent manager who suddenly finds himself a family man after one of his acts flees the scene.

 

JANUARY 21

Bates Motel (Season 4, 2016)

Norman Bates and mother return for a fourth season of the Psycho prequel series.

 

JANUARY 24

Cristela Alonzo: Lower Classy (Netflix original comedy special)

The stand-up comedian takes a break from charming late night shows to host a Netflix special.

 

Gad Gone Wild (Netflix original comedy special)

Gad Elmaleh brings his unique brand of laffers to the States with his Netflix special.

 

Hieronymus Bosch: Touched by the Devil (2015)

A deep dive in the work of brilliant but super duper strange and often risque 15th-century painter Hieronymus Bosch.

 

Kill Command (2016)

It’s man vs. machine in another pic that looks to Terminator for guidance.

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JANUARY 27

Home: Adventures with Tip & Oh (Season 2, Netflix original series for kids)

“A misfit alien named Oh moves in with Tip and her family, in a series that picks up the dynamic duo’s adventures where the hit film left off.”

 

Kazoops! (Season 2, Netflix original series for kids)

“Music meets imagination in this inventive animated series about thinking outside the box and having fun.”

 

iBoy (Netflix original film, 2017)

Teen merges with smartphone in this Netflix original.

 

JANUARY 28

Ripper Street (Season 4)

The Whitechapel drama set around the kills of Jack the Ripper returns for a fourth season with promises of more bodies and more dark alleys.

 

JANUARY 30

Antibirth (2016)

Natasha Lyonne, Chloë Sevigny and Meg Tilly star in this uber trippy little horror pic about a woman who becomes pregnant after a night of partying on a strange and disturbing drug.

 

Swing State (2016)

A DJ creates a fictional conservative personality who becomes an overnight sensation and “the voice of the people.”

 

JANUARY 31

Bill Burr Stand Up Special (Netflix original comedy special)

The podcaster treats fans to another Netflix special.

 

Sharknado: The 4th Awakens (2016)

I’m not going to lie. I’m going to watch this based on the clever name alone. I’m a sucker for good puns.

 

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