Hey people, long time no see – here we are at the 90th Annual Oscars…my last RANT.
I started writing for FOG! 10 years ago, can you believe it?
My first RANT was about President Obama’s election, which seems like an eon ago. Many things have changed, television shows, movies, and other things that have stuck in my craw. I’m not sure if VH1 still exists, I haven’t seen MTV in I don’t know how long…I’m in my ‘50s now and don’t care who is on the Grammys – I just want them all OFFA MY LAWN!
So now, I will muster up the interest in the Oscars and see what makes me mad.
I didn’t even bother to watch any pre-game at all because I wasn’t able to watch with my friend Claire and enjoy her gigantic tv and cable.
Jimmy’s monologue was good – political and funny, just like he does on this show.
Helen Mirren as the “Price Is Right Girl” fawning over a Jet Ski when Jimmy said he’d be giving it away to whomever had the shortest speech.
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR – Viola Davis presented in a BRIGHT PINK SEQUINED GOWN. PEEPS PINK. I LOVE IT!
Oh, Sam Rockwell won.
BEST SOMETHING OR OTHER – Announced by Eva Marie Saint!
BEST DOCUMENTARY– Icarus. About the Russian doping scandal
And then MARY J. BLIGE took everyone to CHURCH when she sang the nominated theme song to Mudbound – PS, she set a record by being the FIRST PERSON TO BE NOMINATED FOR BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS AND BEST SONG in the same year!
The montages are really great this year, especially the thank you to the film going audience. I welled up with tears. The editors deserve an Emmy next year.
BEST SOUND EDITING – Dunkirk
BEST SOUND MIXING – Dunkirk
That Walmart commercial with Mary J. BLIGE made me cry tears of joy!
BEST PRODUCTION DESIGN – The Shape Of Water
Oh yes – RITA MORENO! They gave her a nice little shoutout – she announced the BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM – A Fantastic Woman – from Chile.
The time is 9:25 and I’m yawning.
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS – Allison Janney
Short – Dear Basketball – Glen Keane & Kobe Bryant
Feature – Coco! It’s one of the best ever, if you missed it in the theater, find it somewhere else!!!
The speeches were great and I hope they’re giving Trump a headache.
BEST VISUAL EFFECTS – Blade Runner 2049
BEST DILM EDITING – Dunkirk
One of Jimmy’s gags from his show, he took a bunch of stars from the audience and walked them across the street into a sneak preview of A Wrinkle in Time to surprise the audience..
And we’re back, and the audience went wild.
Tiffany Haddish and Maya Rudolph did a funny bit about how progress has been made, but there are still so many white people around.
BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT – Heaven is a Traffic Jam on the 405
LIVE ACTION SHORT FILM – The Silent Child
DAVE CHAPPELLE! – he announced the song for Marshall.
Common & Audra Day CRUSHED IT. The song was written by Common & Diane Warren. I never thought I’d write that.
It’s now 10:25
Oooh, three women who called out Harvey Weinstein – Ashley Judd, Salma Hayek, and Annabella Sciorra – the talked about Time’s Up, #MeToo, diversity and equality with a good montage of film clips. More great editing!
BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY – Call Me By Your Name – James Ivory
Here’s Nicole Kidman announcing the BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY – JORDAN PEELE for GET OUT!!!!
Oh, hello Sandra Bullock – BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY – Roger Deakins for Blade Runner 2049.
Wow, the performance of “This Is Me” was heart wrenching!
Hey, it’s Christopher Walken! His pants are hiked up to his chest.
He’s announcing the BEST ORIGINAL SCORE – Alexander Desplat for The Shape Of Water
BEST ORIGINAL SONG – “Remember Me” from Coco.
It’s 11:04, and I’m pooped.
Here’s the “Parade of the Dead” – and Eddie Vedder sang “Room At The Top” by Tom Petty. Nobody clapped for the montage. They included Chuck Berry!
Here’s Emma Stone to announce the BEST DIRECTOR – Guillermo del Toro, his first win!
BEST ACTOR – Gary Oldman
His speech was too long to win the Jet ski.
BEST ACTRESS – Frances McDormand! Her speech was electrifying, and I’m happy she got every woman in the house…SOLIDARITY
THE TIME IS 11:37
And now the FINAL AWARD, announced by Warren & Faye
BEST PICTURE – THE SHAPE OF WATER
Well, it’s 11:48 and it’s finally over. It was kind of a yawn, while also inspiring because of the WOMEN and DIVERSITY!
I can’t be snarky about that. I also want to believe that this will be the beginning of a sea change for awards shows, and I’m easy for Jimmy Kimmell to host it again next year.
I would like to thank all of my readers, fans, haters, followers, for spending time with me and my RANTS for the past 10 years.
I’ve had a great time writing for FOG! and I can’t thank Stefan enough for the opportunity.
I’m off to write at least two books and turn them into TV shows. If you’d like to follow my other writing, look for me at The Z Review where I have a music column and other crazy stories, political ravings, and stories of my life.