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‘Jurassic Park: Fallen Kingdom’ (review by Benn Robbins)

Produced by Frank Marshall,
Patrick Crowley, Belén Atienza

Written by Colin Trevorrow, Derek Connolly
Based on Characters by Michael Crichton
Directed by J. A. Bayona
Starring Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas Howard,
Rafe Spall, Justice Smith, Daniella Pineda,
James Cromwell, Toby Jones, Ted Levine,
B. D. Wong, Isabella Sermon,
Geraldine Chaplin, Jeff Goldblum

 

“Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could that they didn’t stop to think if they should.”

– Dr. Ian Malcolm, Jurassic Park 1993

 

Prophetic words spoken a quarter century ago, more true today then when they were first uttered by chaotician, Dr. Ian Malcolm.

It has wrought, Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom.

And oh, how the mighty have fallen.

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom is a bombastic, ridiculous, completely wacky, joyride of a terrible film that I think I love. It is in the cherished category of films so bad they come full circle back to brilliant.

I mean, It isn’t child defeating raptors with gymnastics, bad.

It isn’t even Velociraptor yelling, “Alan” ridiculous.

I mean, I guess the previous film, Jurassic World really set the bar with what would come next, what with the training dinosaur to obey your commands, Chris Pratt Starlord-ing with Blue on a dirt bike through the forest, and genetic splicing of T-Rex and Raptor DNA to make the dumbest creation the “Indominus Rex”.

So, I mean, they really had nowhere else to go from there but up!

And up they went!

Everything is bigger, more explode-y, scary, and intense.

The premise being that the dormant volcano on Isla Nublar has gone active again and the dinosaurs are in danger of going extinct… again. The only hope is to rescue a few select ones with the help of Claire (Bryce Dallas Howard) and Owen (Chris Pratt). They are talked into going back for one last mission: To rescue Blue and a dozen or so other dinosaurs before the island is no more.

All, however, is not as it seems.

The seemingly concerned billionaire who contacted Claire and Owen actually has nefarious and evil ideas planned for these dinosaurs and that is where the plot twists because they weren’t saving them… they were hunting them to sell them.

While Blue is going to be used to create new and even more dangerous dino weapons, it is up to Claire, Owen and their companions to save the dinosaurs and expose the bad people for what they are.

By expose I mean eaten.

They have to be eaten for what they have done. I mean, It is a Jurassic Park film. If any of these films have taught us anything it is that the bad guys always get eaten.

Or stepped on.

I went into this film expecting an utterly ridiculous thriller ride with a small sprinkle of laughs. It is exactly what I got. I shut off my brain, didn’t think about anything other then dinosaurs, explosions, stunts and humor and I got exactly what I went in wanting and expecting. In that aspect it is a righteous success. I also expected this to be terrible, completely inane, and forehead creasing bad.

I got that as well. But that doesn’t make this a bad film.

It makes it exactly what it is; a fun summer, late June adventure thrill-ride that will make you jump when you are supposed to jump and holler when they want you to holler. It is a B-movie with an A-movie budget and stars. What more could you ask for?

They definitely cranked up the scare factor and the intensity in this one from the last Jurassic World so watch out for that with the kids. Though I suppose if your kids are watching tv, dinosaurs are no worse than the reality of students being gunned down in schools or being ripped away from their families and put in cages in real life. Jurassic World will give you the much needed escape from reality you asked for.

This is definitely the second film in the trilogy. It heavily relies on you seeing Jurassic World and it definitely expects there to be a Jurassic World: Dinotopian Future in a few years. I am imagining like post apocalyptic earth but instead of zombies, here are Pratt and Blue in a small caravan of people trying to survive in a world where dinosaurs have taken over the Earth and it has all gone to Hell; “A Boy and his Dino”.

So head to the theaters, grab some snacks, unhitch your brain, strap on your favorite The Land Before Time snuggy and go see Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. If you enjoy it half as much as the audience that I saw it with then you will have definitely gotten your money’s worth out of the 2 hours and 8 minutes of rip roaring ridiculousness.

 

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