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Stream On: Home for the Holidays with Netflix

Netflix has already jumped in with both feet to promote their holiday programming slate. And much like the holiday aisle of Walgreens, Netflix displays no chill when it comes to chilly weather programming as it runs to announce a slate of holiday movies.

As per the standard for holiday movies, Netflix’s cinema cache of Christmas cheer will feature films and specials following the unusual story format we have come to accept from holiday movies:

  • A Single Women (with or without friends, can also use single dad in a pinch) + 
  • Fish out of water situation or challenge + 
  • Hot Dude (with or without child) or Hot Woman (with or without child+ 
  • Approaching Holidays = 
  • Christmas miracle/wedding/possible wedding
  • AKA Christmas Cheer

The Holiday Movie Recipe is a tried and true method of creating a Christmas movie worthy of basic cable, which has proven successful over the years with the sentimental sect. Factors are interchangeable (single girl can be swapped for a group of horny friends or a single dad, a foreign land can be swapped for strange folks landing in a small town, etc.) to create the illusion of an original story, but in essence, all Christmas specials are the same: hero, sudden conflict, romance, happy ending. Possibly some magic or time travel for flavor. Roll credits.

Much like the UK’s fascination with cheesy Christmas ballads, we are accepting of ridiculous holiday movies with similar formulas featuring hidden princes, secret Santas, runaway brides, miracles and holiday magic. It’s a winning combination that has kept the Hallmark Channel in business for many, many years.

With that in mind, here is a peak at what Christmas at Netflix will look like this year:

 

Holiday in the Wild (Nov. 1)

“To keep her spirits high when their son leaves for college, Manhattanite Kate Conrad (Kristin Davis) has booked a ‘second honeymoon’ with her husband. Instead of thanking her, he brings their relationship to a sudden end; jilted Kate proceeds to Africa for a solo safari. During a detour through Zambia, she helps her pilot, Derek Holliston (Rob Lowe), rescue an orphaned baby elephant. They nurse him back to health at a local elephant sanctuary, and Kate extends her stay through Christmastime. Far from the modern luxuries of home, Kate thrives amidst majestic animals and scenery. Her love for the new surroundings just might extend to the man who shared her journey.”

Recipe:

  • 1 Single Girl + Get Lost + 1 Hot Dude = Holiday love & Christmas cheer

 

Let it Snow (Nov. 8)

“When a snowstorm hits a small midwestern town on Christmas Eve, a group of high school seniors find their friendships and love lives colliding thanks to a stranded pop star, a stolen keg, a squad of competitive dancers, a mysterious woman covered in tin foil, and an epic party at the local Waffle Town. Come Christmas morning, nothing will be the same. Based on the best-selling book by John Green, Maureen Johnson, and Lauren Myracle, Let it Snow stars Isabela Merced, Shameik Moore, Odeya Rush, Liv Hewson, Mitchell Hope, Kiernan Shipka, Jacob Batalon, and Joan Cusack.”

Recipe:

  • Handful of Horny teens, add a dash of Weirdos, get Lost in Middle America during Holidays = Christmas Cheer

 

Klaus (Nov. 15)

“When Jesper (Jason Schwartzman) distinguishes himself as the postal academy’s worst student, he is stationed on a frozen island above the Arctic Circle, where the feuding locals hardly exchange words let alone letters. Jesper is about to give up when he finds an ally in local teacher Alva (Rashida Jones), and discovers Klaus (Oscar® winner J.K. Simmons), a mysterious carpenter who lives alone in a cabin full of handmade toys. These unlikely friendships return laughter to Smeerensburg, forging a new legacy of generous neighbors, magical lore and stockings hung by the chimney with care. An animated holiday comedy directed by Despicable Me co-creator Sergio Pablos, Klaus co-stars Joan Cusack, Will Sasso and Norm Macdonald.”

Recipe:

  • Add 1 Loser + 1 Hottie + 1 Secret Santa. Mix until it makes sense. = Christmas Cheer

 

The Knight Before Christmas (Nov. 21)

“After a magical sorceress transports medieval knight Sir Cole (Josh Whitehouse) to present-day Ohio during the holiday season, he befriends Brooke (Vanessa Hudgens), a clever and kind science teacher who’s been disillusioned by love. Brooke helps Sir Cole navigate the modern world and helps him discover how to fulfill his mysterious one true quest — the only act that will return him home. But as he and Brooke grow closer, Sir Cole begins to wonder just how much he wants to return to his old life. Directed by Monika Mitchell (The Christmas Contract, Royal New Year’s Eve) and also starring Emmanuelle Chriqui, Isabelle Franca, Ella Kenion, and Jean-Michel Le Gal, The Knight Before Christmas is a cozy holiday romance about learning to let yourself believe in magic again.”

Recipe:

  • Take 1 Hot Knight, add Magic and Lost in time. Add 1 Hottie and stir. = Christmas Cheer

 

Holiday Rush (Nov. 28)

“Popular New York radio DJ Rush Williams (Romany Malco) has been spoiling his four children since they lost their mom. Unfortunately, the kids share their pricey Christmas lists right when he loses his job. To keep Rush on the air, his producer Roxy Richardson (Sonequa Martin-Green) and his Aunt Jo (Darlene Love) plan to help him buy another station — if the Williams family can downsize fast and embrace a simpler life. In this heartwarming film, a loving father reconnects with his children and opens his heart to love when they all learn that true joy comes from not what you have but who you have around you.”

Recipe:

  • 1 Single Dad + a handful of spoiled kids. Mix questionable financial advice with a dash of family = Christmas Cheer

 

Merry Happy Whatever (Nov. 28)

“Set during the happy but hectic days before and after Christmas, Merry Happy Whatever follows Don Quinn (Dennis Quaid), a strong-willed patriarch from Philadelphia doing his best to balance the stress of the holidays with the demands of his close-knit but eclectic family — and his family doing their best to manage him. But when youngest daughter Emmy (Bridgit Mendler) arrives home from L.A. with a new boyfriend, struggling musician Matt (Brent Morin), Don’s belief that “there’s the Quinn way… and the wrong way” is put to the test. From Emmy Award-winning creator Tucker Cawley (Everybody Loves Raymond), Merry Happy Whatever is a hilarious and heartwarming comedy that proves while family may not come wrapped up in a neat little bow, it sometimes can still be the greatest gift.”

Recipe:

  • 1 Good Looking Family + 1 New Boyfriend, add in Stubborn Dad + Holidays = Christmas Cheer

 

A Christmas Prince: The Royal Baby (Dec. 5)

“It’s Christmastime in Aldovia, and a royal baby is on the way! Queen Amber (Rose McIver) and King Richard (Ben Lamb) are getting ready to take some time off to prepare for their first child’s arrival, but first they have to host King Tai (Kevin Shen) and Queen Ming (Momo Yeung) of Penglia to renew a 600-year-old sacred truce. But when the priceless treaty goes missing, peace is jeopardized and an ancient curse looms. Amber will have to figure out who the thief is before the clock strikes midnight on Christmas Eve, for the safety of her family and the kingdom. Director John Schultz (A CHRISTMAS PRINCE: THE ROYAL WEDDING) and screenwriter Nathan Atkins (A CHRISTMAS PRINCE, A CHRISTMAS PRINCE: THE ROYAL WEDDING) return for the third installment in the CHRISTMAS PRINCE series.”

Recipe:

  • Successful Christmas Movie + Baby = Sequel to Christmas Cheer

 

 

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