Connect with us

Hi, what are you looking for?

General

THE WORST THING TOM HANKS EVER MADE…

Joe Versus the Volcano? No.

You’ve Got Mail? No.

Sleepless in Seattle? No, (Well maybe. And probably You’ve Got Mail too.)

Ladies and gentlemen, I present Tom Hanks’ son… Chet Haze a.k.a Chester Hanks.


Long story short, “West Side L.A.” is like a non-thinking man’s version of Jay-Z’s “Empire State of Mind.” Picture Joaquin Phoenix in I’m Still Here… only rapping on-beat mixed with a Wal-mart version of Asher Roth. (No disrespect to Asher Roth who is actually a credible rapper despite being mislabeled a frat rapper.) It seems Chet is trying to cash in on Roth’s crossover appeal in spite of not making a complete mockery of hip-hop culture… except without the mockery part.

I began thinking I’d rather Tom Hanks write a rap album based on the personas of his various characters over the years. Think about it. You could have a transvestite rapper dropping rhymes about living in an all-women’s hotel like on Bosom Buddies. You could have a cop rapping about his partner, a drooling dog (Turner and Hooch). It could be like Rick Ross meets DMX. Perhaps he could channel Jim Lovell from Apollo 13 and do some space rap. (Houston, we have a motherfuckin’ problem!)

Then I remembered this.

Oh, I see where Chet gets his rhyme skills.

On second thought, maybe I don’t need an album of Tom Hanks rapping.

Click to comment

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

DISCLAIMER

Forces of Geek is protected from liability under the DMCA (Digital Millenium Copyright Act) and “Safe Harbor” provisions.

All posts are submitted by volunteer contributors who have agreed to our Code of Conduct.

FOG! will disable users who knowingly commit plagiarism, piracy, trademark or copyright infringement.

Please contact us for expeditious removal of copyrighted/trademarked content.

SOCIAL INFLUENCER POLICY

In many cases free copies of media and merchandise were provided in exchange for an unbiased and honest review. The opinions shared on Forces of Geek are those of the individual author.

You May Also Like

Movies

Written by Jimmy Palmiotti, Amanda Connor, Wendy Wright-Williams, Cassie Parkes, David Avallone, Howard Rodman, Jazzlyn Stone, Dan Whitehead, Davide Barnett, Richard Kadrey Art by...

Comics

Ed Piskor is far from shy when it comes to discussing his love of comics, hip hop and Pro Wrestling. His first major body...

Culture

Kino Lorber proudly announces the release of Soundies: The Ultimate Collection, a four-disc set featuring 200 short musical subjects –“Soundies” — that entertained Americans...

Books

What can a singer dead for more than five decades tell us about twenty-first-century America? Well, if we’re searching for insight from the life...