Full Disclosure: I am a music snob. My parents raised me to look at music as being just as important as air and food and to this day, I have never gone more than 24 hours without putting on a record and listening to it all the way through.
And while my taste in music runs the gamut from classical to Swamp Metal, I must say that I have grown increasingly uncomfortable with pop music due to the lack of talent floating in the kiddie pool.
I realize that I’m getting older and the appeal of a teenager singing about a particular day of the week might just be something I can no longer relate to but give me some credit here, I still collect comic books and am seriously thinking about buying the Pottery Barn Kids Star Wars bedding collection for my marital bed, so I think that my adulthood is still kinda stunted.
But I can’t stand today’s Pop Music.
Take for example this mash-up of the candy-coated pop music the youth of today are inhaling like bath salts:
Why, they all could be like one long, annoying song (as someone who went to a Widespread Panic concert sober in the late 90s, I know what a long song sounds like).
Where’s the passion? Where’s the search for a well-crafted hook that not only rocks you to your core but will pull up strange memories for you when you are 40-years old? Where’s the fucking talent?
Look, I’m not immune to the tantalizing retardation of music that is playing on the radio today. I’ve been known to hum Lady Gaga’s Teeth while taking a shit in the bathroom or bopping along to Katy Perry when I am bowling on $1 beer night, but I’m horrified that kids will no longer know what a singer/songwriter is unless they have been Auto-Tuned and buffed to a high sheen.
What I’m trying to say here is that I’m old and annoyed with pop music and wish that people would delete their crappy iPod/iPhone playlists and simply reboot the system so that people who actually give a damn about music can finally be given a voice.
Now, get off my lawn before I get the hose.
