Like discussions on religious beliefs or which Batman movie was best, politics is a topic better left untapped for the sake of avoiding a maelstrom of futility.
With a presidential election looming and the media under the impression that we’ll forget about it if we aren’t reminded every second of every day, it’s hard to avoid the topic.
To some, it’s even uncomfortable.
At Forces Of Geek, editor-in-chief Stefan Blitz even discourages divisive topics within columns.
However, since his perceptions are perpetually filtered through the sticky, glue sniffing haze of an addict, I am hopeful this piece will pass his radar unnoticed. *please don’t fire me, Stefan*
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| Editor-in-chief Stefan Blitz |
Despite my own SSRI-induced apathy, some aspects of the presidential race are hard to ignore.
Mitt Romney’s hair – It’s so nice! It’s a Don Draper throwback with Joe Jonas graying temples. Romney is what an actor portraying a president in a movie would look like; he uses ‘gosh’ and ‘gee’ the way a 1950’s sit-com dad would begin most of his lines. He is whom I would want to pose as me on a Christmas card.
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| “You want me to say ‘Gosh’? Are you serious? Go to hell.” |
Mitt Romney’s courting with voters recently hit a highpoint when he tapped Paul Ryan as his VP. Not knowing much about Ryan, I decided to Google his name.
Political career, schmolitical career. This guy was all over IMDB!
If IMDB’s info is correct, this Paul Ryan has pretty much done it all.
From 1969 to 1972, DA Paul Ryan helped put criminals behind bars. Two TV movies, his own series, The D.A., and even a crossover episode on Adam-12, Paul Ryan helped create the half-investigation, half-prosecution format that Law & Order made famous.
As IMDB showed, Paul Ryan didn’t let cancellation keep his acting career down. Who can forget his portrayal of 1st Technician in 1978’s Coma, co-starring Michael Douglas and Rip Torn and directed by Michael Crichton? Once you’ve seen it, you may know Paul Ryan as a politician now, but he’ll be 1st Technician in our hearts forever.
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| “OMGosh! It’s 1st Technician! We all wanna have your baby!” |
Continuing his pursuit of credible roles with numbers in their titles, Paul Ryan brought to life Ninja 1 in the film short Racist. Today, it is hard to imagine a world where Ninja 1 wasn’t part of pop culture iconography. *shudder* I get the chills just imagining such a dark and joyless world.
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| A world without Ninja 1 |
All actors ultimately want to direct and Paul Ryan was no different. The influences of Ayn Rand can be felt all over his work in the electrical department on both Batman Returns (“The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me”- AR) and the Deliverance-esque film Sunburst (“Evil requires the sanction of the victim” – AR)
Boy oh boy, do Rand and Ryan know funny or what?!
His work in visual effects on The Matrix no doubt helped earn him some serious street cred when running for office. I mean, who wouldn’t vote for a guy that met the real Neo?
One thing to keep that cannot be disregarded is Paul Ryan’s fandom within the 18-49 female demographic. Is it his P90X body? His youthful good looks? Maybe.
Realistically, though, it was his long affiliation on As The World Turns. Beginning in 1986, Paul Ryan has been credited with an impressive 713 episodes. It was Paul Ryan who delivered lines that have become standard examples of excellence in screenwriting courses around the country.
- Paul Ryan: “It’s okay. Its okay, it’s all right. Everything’s okay, Daddy’s here.” (Episode #1.13447)
- Paul Ryan: “No, no, no! Come back! Eliza! Eliza!” (Episode #1.13451)
- Paul Ryan: “I didn’t mean to do that.” (Episode #1.13445)
As with any election, how you vote is between you, your conscience and the guy paying you to vote multiple times.
In November, when you vote for the leader of the free world, imagine one thing: the president dies and the VP has to step into his shoes.
Imagine how comforting it would be to see this person stroll up to the podium with the presidential seal, look directly into the camera and say, “My fellow Americans,… It’s okay. Its okay, it’s all right. Everything’s okay, Daddy’s here.”
