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Reviews of Films I Have Never Seen:
HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA – Sony Partners with Hotel Chain for 3-D Spook Fest

In an unusual first, Sony Pictures partnered with Marriot International, Inc. to produce this animated 3-D tale about Dracula running a hotel for monsters. Fabled hijinx ensue after a human slacker arrives and courts the vampire’s teenage daughter.

In his first shot at directing, Genndy Tartakovsky was selected by Sony. Good thing for Tartakovsky that Marriot approved.

Miley Cyrus was not so fortunate.

Cast as teen vampire Mavis, Cyrus ran afoul of Marriot execs. who had image issues and demanded the removal of the former Disney star.

The once-Hannah Montana struck hotel executives as the type of person who “might drop the TV remote control into the toilet and would probably steal hand towels and other small items.”

Cyrus was jettisoned in favor of another former Disney star, Selena Gomez. Marriott executives favored Gomez whom they believed would set a good example by “not trying on the complimentary bath robe unless she were serious about wearing it.”

This was one of several clashes between the creative team and the hotel chain bosses. Despite numerous emails, Skype calls, and a power point demonstration, Tartakovsky and crew never fully convinced Marriot execs that they were making an animated film and not constructing a real hotel in the Carpathian Mountains of eastern Romania.

Adam Sandler played the hotelier/vampire, clinging to his Transylvanian accent like a bat hanging on plexiglass. Andy Samberg handles the role of slacker Jonathan. Steve Buscemi has a part. I can’t recall which one but you’ll know when he talks because he’ll sound highly excited.

While I have never spoken out against product placement in films, I consider the practice shameless pandering. If movies wish to retain any independence as a vehicle for important messages, they need to end this ghastly slobbering after corporate money.

And now the practice has spawned co-production deals with business entities who understand nothing of cinema and corrupt everything they touch.

On a closing note, Marriott International Inc. is a worldwide hospitality company with more than 2,600 lodging properties located in the United States and 65 other countries. I received no cash for saying that and I’m certain I’ll never get around to using my free room credit.

Five stars for depicting a large hotel in a reasonable light.

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