Letters To Hollywood: AVENGERS DISASSEMBLED

Dear Hollywood,

I find myself in a difficult position in life. I think I expect too much.

At 12:30 on the 26th of April I went to a busy cinema to see the first available showing of The Avengers in 2-D.

I attended alone, but I am a strong independent geek who had a chicken salad, and no one wants to sit next to that girl.

As I was watching the film I noticed a strange thing happening in my brain, a sort of splitting off and disassociation. On one hand I was watching the film, but on the other hand I was judging the film.

I was in the moment, but I was also out of and looking down on the moment.

I was caught between Brecht and Stanislavski. (I did theatre studies at school, that’s right, I have a qualification that means I can be pretentious.)

It was then I realised that I find it increasingly difficult to just watch and enjoy the so-called “stupid” films. Now I don’t know whether it is because I expect too much from popcorn munching blockbusters, or whether it is because I have seen far too many movies and feel like I can no longer be surprised.

Do I expect too much?

Or are you not giving me enough anymore Hollywood?

With regards to The Avengers, I have had very high expectations, but that was because of The Whedon (see previous column.)

However I am not going to lie, I was disappointed.

Would I have enjoyed it more had I gone in blind with no expectations?

If I had expected nothing but distraction and entertainment?

I think I would. But I also think I would not be thinking about it as much as I am now. I think I would have moved on with my life five minutes after leaving the cinema, BUT I did not want that to happen. In fact, I think its lazy thinking to expect that to happen. I do not want to live in a world of diminished expectations.

The Avengers film has been reviewed very well which can go only be a good thing, but I have read a few which say it is better then “it needs to be.” I don’t understand this. Simply because it is a film aimed at a large audience and guaranteed to make a shit ton of money, doesn’t meant it has to be shit, or passable, or Captain America. Why can it not respect the intelligence of its audience and be brilliant and about costumed superheroes? Like Spider-Man 1 and 2, X Men 2 or Thor.

Not that I am saying it wasn’t good.

It was. It is good.

It is not a bad film at all.

I cannot fault its zippy nature and character juggling and attempts to flesh out Black Widow and Hawkeye. I cannot argue that I did laugh a few times. I cannot argue that some scenes were marvelously handled, e.g. the introduction of Mark Ruffalo as The Hulk.

But I didn’t feel tense, nervous, anxious or surprised. I didn’t care about any of the characters and some of the lines felt clunky and insincere.

Crow barred quips if you will.

I did however enjoy the inclusion of Mewling Quim.

Shakespeare for “Crying Vagina”.

I didn’t enjoy the aliens at the end, they were also ran henchmen from another world we have seen many times before.

Not interesting just there to be destroyed.  I thought Colbie Smoulders was pointless. I thought Iron Man’s innate smugness and knowing winks to the audience was irritating, and I didn’t enjoy him and Gwyneth Paltrow as the smuggest couple at the party.

I thought some of the quips did nothing but remind the audience that there was no real danger here, no real threat and not to worry everything would be totally cool by the end. It served to remind me that I was watching a film which didn’t totally buy itself, so why should we.

I thought some of the characters, particularly Loki would not resort to Scooby-Doo style pandering and I expected him to be a little more evil.

I think my main point is I didn’t feel anything.

I just didn’t feel, god dammit!

But should I have expected to just because it was Whedon?

Or because I think Superhero films can make you feel for characters just as much as off Broadway play about the industrial revolution can?

Superheroes have vulnerabilities and The Avengers only came close to nailing it when Thor and Loki were expressing their angst to each other, but it was totally undermined by Iron Man’s “Was that Shakespeare in the Park?” comment.

Knowing wink to audience, yes, they do talk stupid.

Whedon was good at finding the humanity within his super humans, the vulnerability and verisimilitude that the audience can relate to, empathise with.

I understand he had like a billion superheroes and situations to juggle, but I would have liked a bit more… MORE.

My favourite scene in Spider-Man 2 does not demonstrate an amazing web sling or an upside down kiss; instead it demonstrates a simple act human kindness.

A frazzled and stressed Peter Parker who is always behind on his rent accepts a slice of cake and glass of milk from his landlord’s daughter, a slightly out of sorts lonely girl who sees a man in need of some comfort.

In the moment where they eat the cake in silence, we see how the smallest person can make a difference, and we see how Parker just never gets to stop and eat cake.

I felt for him, and I saw that he was a man like any other, struggling to get by, without enough glucose.